My friend is very afraid of furry animals since he was a child. Other girls like cute kittens and puppies very much, but the little one feels fear and fear from the bottom of her heart. Moreover, friends around her concluded that the small and afraid furry animals are still very specific, that is, furry animals.
For example, it's the same dog. He was too scared to walk when he saw Satsuma, but he didn't feel this way when he saw the bulldog. The same is true of cats. Usually she shouts when she sees them, but that's only in the eyes of many people? Ugly? Sphinx hairless cat A can accept it.
People who don't know the truth say Xiao has taste and likes high-end cats. Xiao shakes her head helplessly and says she doesn't like it, but she is not afraid. Hairy monster? In contrast, bald animals look safer.
Actually this shadow? Hairy monster? Has lived in her heart for many years.
When I was a child, when my mother put her to bed, she always used the hairy monster to scare her. Whenever the little girl is disobedient and rolls around in bed and refuses to sleep, her impatient mother will say to her: there is a hairy monster lying outside the window, eating a child who can't sleep. ? Little ah was so scared that he quickly closed his eyes. Sometimes even if he couldn't sleep, he didn't dare to open his eyes.
Mom saw that this method was very effective and more handy to use, but she didn't know that the lies she had unintentionally fabricated had formed a bad psychological suggestion, which was deeply rooted in her heart.
In daily life, parents often use intimidation as a cheap and direct way to deal with it, which may be because of impatience or fatigue? Nonsense? Baby, it's almost the national lingua franca. Like what? Mom won't want you if you don't listen! ? Uncle policeman is outside, I will take you away if I can't eat well! ? If this continues, you can only be locked in a dark room! ? The monkey is staring at you, so just do it. ?
This kind of scaring has an immediate effect and is especially useful for children, so parents like it very much? Nazism? I didn't realize the harm of doing so at all, not to mention that my parents were scared like this, and I didn't feel anything wrong.
Intimidating parenting is actually a lazy behavior of parents in education, which has two effects, but neither is ideal.
The first type: Do children see through their parents? Conspiracy? I have seen through my parents' usual educational tricks, and I am very tired of my parents threatening and controlling themselves in this threatening way. I feel compelled to do things, so I am tired of what I have to do.
For example, parents love to force their children to do homework by scaring them, and he will show a stronger aversion to doing homework than before.
The second kind: children obey on the surface, but they plant the seeds of fear in their hearts. In other words, the child is still forced to obey, and all kinds of bizarre things are made up by his parents? Scare the world? By the middle school stage, children have long lost themselves, especially children, who often do not have the ability to distinguish between reality and illusion and are often caught.
Parents always use this way to scare? A tour guide? There are still many potential hazards for children to do things. Simple and rude intimidation has a good effect in a short time, but in the long run, it is easy for children to become learned fears, which is not worth the candle. Children who are often scared always have a place in their hearts? Soft rib? When you encounter a similar situation, you will hypnotize yourself and feel nervous, anxious, uneasy and afraid.
Some will be accompanied by physiological adverse reactions, such as nausea and vomiting, convulsions, affecting the quality of sleep, and always having nightmares, most of which are persistent. Long-term detention of fear will affect children's endocrine, slow down children's development, and may also affect children's language ability, and even suffer from mental illness.
In learning, may such children be inattentive and have poor reaction ability? Half-beat? The phenomenon is that these children are not born stupid, but are really scared and destroyed by their parents.
Many antisocial personalities appear in the process of growing up, that is, when they were young, they were frightened and overstimulated, lost their acceptance and curiosity about new things, became fearful and irritable, became suspicious and fickle, did not know how to properly resolve the stimuli, became nervous in interpersonal relationships, and lost their independent opinions and exploration spirit.
It can be seen that parents sometimes give light sentences? Scare children? It may be buried deep in the child's heart and become the shadow of life.
How do parents educate their children not to scare them? Children just came to this world, their own abilities are limited, and they are easily scared by their parents. When parents describe the scene with exaggerated things, once they collide with their children's imagination, the children will feel extremely scared and helpless. How can we help children without scaring them? Try doing this!
1, prompting children to avoid danger.
In terms of safety education, many parents scare their children to avoid risks in life, such as not letting them play with fire, and the newly cooked rice is too hot to eat. The original intention is good, but it tastes bad when it is said. It's all a bluff.
Parents should patiently explain various dangerous situations to their children and be accompanied by their parents? Rehearsal? If the child wants to touch the porridge just made, parents may wish to offer a little first, let the child try to touch it, let him remember the feeling of pain, and won't dare next time.
At the same time, you should explain clearly to your child that your parents won't let you touch these things for fear that you will get hurt. You should also tell your children with expectant eyes that one day you can avoid risks by yourself, and your parents will not urge you and look at you like this. Let children feel trust and love, but also consciously stay away from danger, instead of being full of scary pictures.
2. Understand children's feelings
Long live understanding, even for children. Don't think that he is too young to understand. In fact, children are also very good at reading faces. What should parents avoid saying if there is something that scares their children? What are you afraid of? Will it bite you? ? , or? It's all fake. You don't have to be so scared, okay? .
What parents say is true, but they ignore their children's inner feelings. What are the things that are inconspicuous in the eyes of family members that may be unknown and huge in the hearts of children? Black hole? It is normal to feel scared because you don't understand, but parents can't understand their children's feelings. The way of asking questions hurts the most.
What parents should improve is to understand their children's feelings and let them know that their parents will always be with them. If you are afraid of the dark, find a doll to accompany you, or occasionally give up the principle to sleep with your child for a day or two instead of asking questions. Only in this way can you help children drive away their inner emotions? Demon? .
3. teach children? Facing fear?
Xiao Ming always said that he was afraid of a vague thing, and his mother was afraid. His father has a better way to let his children simply draw what they are afraid of. This makes Xiao Ming a little embarrassed. He managed to finish his masterpiece while painting, but in fact he could see nothing. Dad picked it up and solemnly said, this is a cat. Seeing that Xiao Ming was at a loss, his father further guided him and pointed out which is the eye and which is the tail.
Under his father's description, Xiao Ming also decided that he was afraid of cats. Dad used his imagination again. A tour guide? The child said, "Look, this is an old cat. It obviously can't run and it can't pose a threat to anyone. " Xiao Ming believed it and was very happy. Since then, he has never been afraid of the so-called? A blur? . Let the abstract things be clear, then follow the trend and break the fear in the child's heart. This is a way to face your fears.
Finally, don't let parents scare away their children easily? Courage? There are many correct ways to raise children, but intimidation is the first thing to be ruled out, don't you think?