Parents' pet phrase, the child's heart hurts. In life, if parents often PUA their children, how many do you account for?

Rule number one: always compare children with others.

For example, "If only you had someone who was half successful."

Analysis:

Perhaps the original intention of parents is to let their children have an example to learn from, but children will feel that they are always inferior to other children in the eyes of parents, so children will feel insecure and easily form extreme and extreme personality characteristics.

The second type: belittle and suppress the child's ability and character.

For example, "how can you be so stupid that you can't do such a small thing well?" What can I do in the future? " J

Analysis:

Many parents often deny their children, which is called "challenging the law". But the message children receive is that their parents don't recognize them. Over time, children may become inferior, think that they can't do anything, think that they are really stupid, and finally develop into learned helplessness.

The third type: children's emotional control.

"Mom is doing this for your own good.

For example, "We all work hard for you."

Analysis:

Parents' original intention is for the good of their children, but they make their children feel that they want to be sensible and obedient, don't let their parents worry, are timid in doing everything, and dare not express their ideas, which often becomes a flattering character centered on the approval of others.

The fourth type: threatening to deprive children of love.

For example, "if you don't listen, mom won't want you!" " "If you don't listen, you will break your leg.

Analysis: Parents often say that children become smart only because they are afraid of their parents leaving, not because of love. In the long run, it will make children feel insecure and miserable.

Fifth: use the authority of parents to blame children at will.

Such as: "What? I care about what you eat and drink. What's the matter with you? Do you still dare to talk back? "

Analysis: Under this kind of education, children will really recognize cowardice and obedience when they are young, but once they grow up, they will be disgusted. In order to resist authority, resistance will follow.