Story 1: Last winter, I saw such a scene. On a snowy morning, a mother took her son to kindergarten. My son skipped on the road, and he stepped on the place where the snow accumulated.
I'm thinking, what if the child keeps stepping on the snow and his shoes are wet? I just looked at my mother. The mother stopped the child without anger. She called her son's name normally, and then said, "Come on, take mom's hand and walk together."
The child really has no objection. He came to hold his mother's hand and walked forward together in a good mood without stepping on the snowdrift again.
I didn't expect the mother to solve the problem so easily, without destroying the child's mood, wetting the child's shoes, and leaving the child completely unaware. I have to sigh my mother's intelligence and wisdom.
Story 2: Humen exterminates opium forest Zexu has a story about teaching two sons, which is also talked about by many people. This story happened after the Opium War in Humen. Lin Zexu was demoted by the Qing government to be an official in other places and often wrote to his son.
My son is also an official outside. He wrote to his son that I was in poor health. Come and see me when you resign.
In fact, there was nothing wrong with his health at that time. He said this in order to subtly guide his son. For the sake of his son, he can't be swayed by considerations of gain and loss in officialdom, so he wants his eldest son to feel that being an official is not the most important thing. You can resign for any reason. You are still young, and you will have many opportunities in the future.
Only by quietly changing the son's mentality can we play the best role. Otherwise, even if Lin Zexu quoted the classics, it would be useless for his son to know that his father was trying to persuade him.
Story 3: When I was a child, whether it was a holiday or not, my mother would ask me or my brother to send a bowl to my grandmother's house for every meal in jiaozi. Knowing that this is the case now, my brother and I formed the habit of automatically delivering the first bowl of jiaozi to our grandparents.
I think my brother and I will treat our parents like this and educate our children in the future.
The above three stories are all about parents guiding their children from the side, rather than preaching with words, not shouting and forcing. That's what a good education is like. It should be moist and silent.
Sometimes it is intentional, just like Lin Zexu's seemingly ordinary words, but behind it is his life experience as a father and his good intentions to influence his children from the side.
Sometimes it is unintentional. What you do will have an impact on your children without your knowledge. This is the power of example, so parents really have to set an example.
The above three stories are taken from the official account of WeChat, an article "Flynn's Mom". After reading it, I immediately realized that the influence of action is more direct and efficient than the preaching of words. In order to better implement this silent education, the key is to uphold the idea that children are independent individuals like you, think from an independent perspective, and let him do what I want to do.