Lecture on family education in primary schools-know yourself, know education and know children. Speaker: Good evening, parents of Zhang Peihai! Educating children has always been a major event in life, affecting the hearts of thousands of parents in Qian Qian, Qian Qian, because children are the continuation of our lives, and life is fleeting for a hundred years. With children, our wishes and ideals can be passed on to future generations for a long time. Loving children is a common emotion of human beings, but if you only know love, as Gorky said, it is something that "hens will do". People are different from other animals because they know how to educate and love. However, education and true love need constant study and persistent study, so as to truly grasp the true meaning of education and love for children and master the science and art of educating children. Tell you a story: Qi Huangong was walking in the garden when he met an old carpenter who was building a chariot for him. Qi Huangong started a conversation with the carpenter. The carpenter asked Qi Huangong why he wasted it. Qi Huangong was very angry and wanted to cut off the carpenter's head. The carpenter said, if you cut it, no one will build your car. Qi Huangong laughed at him and said, You are an impatient old carpenter. If I cut you, you can find another carpenter. The carpenter said: No one can build the car you want except me, because of the dozens of apprentices brought by my master, only I can build it well. Moreover, none of the dozens of disciples I brought out can catch up with me, including my two sons. Qi Huangong was surprised and asked why. The old carpenter said that everyone is learning, but in the end there is such a big difference, because most people only see knowledge and skills, without their own thinking and can't find a way, but those who can think and find a way become unique talents. In fact, the best way to learn is to learn in various ways, whether reading books or attending classes, which should ultimately come down to finding your own wisdom and finding your own solutions to problems. Educating children, it seems that as long as they are parents, they can probably understand something, because they have their own experience of being educated by their parents, their own preparation for studying when they are prospective parents, and their own curiosity, but they have not systematically and formally trained their parents. In practice, I found that educating children is not a simple matter, which seems to be different from my childhood. What should I do? We look for the answer to education from books, but unfortunately, children are not experiments, and the education of reading is very different from the actual education we encounter. To tell the truth, I was really confused when I was a mother, and I may be confused now. I have practiced my educational philosophy on my children, and I dare not say success, but at least I can ensure that my children are happy and independent. Simple example: A colleague of mine often comments on her daughter's self-care ability and self-reliance: Although I can't compare with those successful parents, I am still proud of her performance. From the second week of the first grade of primary school, he followed the old man he entrusted to the reception room of the unit to do his homework; In the second month of school, I walked to his unit after school; Start school and go home from school in the next semester (about 20 minutes one way); In the second grade, take the bus back to grandma's house; From the first grade, I began to preside over class official business, and from the third grade, I began to do some school official business. It should be said that my daughter also got a lot of exercise at school, which made her calm and helpful. He sincerely thanked the school and teachers. Therefore, it doesn't matter what you learn specifically. It is important to find the root of education, have a correct educational concept and find the common essence of human education. This is not only what we as educators should pursue unremittingly, but also what parents should work hard for their children. Therefore, before discussing a specific problem and suggestion about children's growth with parents, I must ask parents to look at themselves, their qualifications as parents, their educational ideas, their expectations for children, their communication methods with children and their attitudes towards educating children. Then I will report to you that the requirement of our education system for children's growth and development is only that our family, school and society work together to achieve the consistency of education. First, know yourself and yourself, and be in an invincible position; Know your friends and build harmony; Know yourself and yourself, and communicate smoothly; Know yourself and yourself and achieve a win-win situation. It can be seen that in the people-oriented social development environment, the foundation of human nature has become an important factor affecting everything, so our parents also need to know themselves in their own family education system, so as to better obtain the best effect of family education. 1. Ask parents to write down in their notebooks: I hope my children will be in the future-the relationship between me and my children is-how do I ask my children-I want to talk to parents about educating their children from these three aspects: too high expectations will make children hopeless. For example, I have two friends. One is that I bought a piano before my child was born, waiting for elegant piano art to enter my child's life. Another friend (having some financial difficulties), because owning a piano is her dream, bought a color TV set and a piano with a loan when she got married. As a result, the first friend's child is now in the third grade. He has never had a piano lesson, and he can't play the piano, because children don't like it at all. Of course, my friend is a good parent. After discovering that his expectations were not recognized by his children, he immediately changed his mind and respected his children's choices. Latin dance, the hobby of children as children, is still practiced in their spare time. Another friend's child, at the age of 5, began to learn piano from his teacher, finished primary school, persisted for 6 years, and passed Grade 8. Now, children are in the second grade of junior high school and have no feelings for the piano. She seldom listens to her again, and has no time or interest. Parents' expectations often fail. Wise parents will obey their children, while parents who are too strict and too strong can't tolerate their children's uncooperative. Both parents will lose in the end. The purpose of this example is to discuss with parents their expectations for their children, or their own ideals? Or is it a child's interest? Is it mandatory or optional, and is the expectation appropriate? Since the children entered the kindergarten, parents have reported various training courses to their children at the suggestion of the kindergarten. Girls prefer musical accomplishment-dancing and musical instruments, while boys prefer martial arts and painting, which are the basic qualities for their growth. But in primary school, parents' choice turned to study and training courses, such as mental arithmetic, composition, small reporters, Olympic Games and so on. Make children physically and mentally exhausted and bored. To tell the truth, how much of your child's voluntary and happy participation is helpful to his interest in learning? Almost all parents want their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed. Especially in the case of the only child now, no one wants his education to be generous. He always tries harder and harder, whether the child has this gift or not. We are not saying that children are good or bad, but we must admit that children are different. There are differences between our parents. Why do we do this and that for our children? Every child is a good boy, there is no distinction between high and low, but there are differences in way of thinking and acceptance. Some children are suitable for mathematics, some children have strong hands-on ability, and some children are good at communication. This is the difference. Now all parents require their children to get high marks in exams and attend Peking University Tsinghua. This kind of mentality is very common, which brings great pressure to quality education and children. On the road of life, what to give up and what to choose is an art. Sometimes, giving up is gaining. People often say "give up", give up, and you will get it. The same is true of raising children. They want to learn everything, but often they can't learn anything. Want everything, often get nothing. Education suggestion: 1. Face up to reality, seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. We already know that there are many disadvantages in reality, and we will never be villains who add fuel to the fire. In order to let children enjoy the joy and happiness of childhood, we will lower the requirements for children. Face up to and accept the reality, what kind of background I have and what kind of ability I have, I will work hard. Whoever is willing to fight for a white-collar job will fight for it, but I will never sacrifice the interests of today's children for uncertain things in the future. 2. Think about what you really want, whether it's grades, going to college or having children? When you earn money desperately for that distant university goal, your limited time will be occupied by business and work, and your children will lack your company and support on their growth path, and their road will be difficult and tortuous. Don't use "Mom and Dad are all for your own good" to force children to obey you or do things they don't want to do. Please respect your children, put away your ideals and unfinished wishes and help them realize their wishes. Parent-child relationship affects children's development. What's your relationship with your children? Do you often pretend to be an adult? What do you think of children and your position in the family? In fact, a really good parent-child relationship should be an equal friend between you and your child. Can you stand at the same height as a child and see everything outside? Please see: The Convention on the Rights of the Child 1989 promulgated by the United Nations is not whether parents have read it or not. The Convention points out that it follows four basic principles: the principle of the best interests of children, which must be given priority in all matters involving children; The principle of respecting children's dignity; The principle of respecting children's views and opinions; Principle of non-discrimination. Regardless of children's social background, birth and wealth, boys and girls, normal children and disabled children should be treated equally and should not be discriminated against or ignored. In our real life in China, we are used to judging everything by adults' standards of right and wrong, putting ourselves above children, thinking that we are the guardians and protectors of children, and have the obligation and power to be responsible for the growth of children, and often treat every child with the standard of "obedient children are good children". It is not easy to treat your children equally. Children are vulnerable groups in front of their parents, bullied, cheated, squeezed and enslaved. Only when our parents are aware of these behaviors can they always remind themselves that the relationship with their children should be equal. Story: A punished father in an American family taught his children not to lie in kindergarten, and lying would be punished by spanking. Once the mother of the child was away on a business trip, and the father was responsible for sending the child to kindergarten. As a result, he got up late in the morning and sent his children to kindergarten late. The kindergarten teacher asked the reason for being late. Dad was embarrassed to talk about it late, so he prevaricated that there was a traffic jam on the road. As a result, the child was unhappy and quickly told the teacher: He said that his parents lied and wanted to be spanked. But who will call? Dad was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. The teacher asked the children for advice. The child said that a mother should call, but her mother was not at home. Who will call? Finally, I decided to change my teacher and punish the lying father in front of the children. It can be seen from this story that in the American concept, people are equal, and parents and children are equal. Everyone is defending this universal law, and education punishment is no exception. Education suggestion: 1. Kneel down and stand at the same height as a child to see the world. 2. Always remind yourself that children are equal to us. From the day when children become primary school students, practice treating children as adults and sharing everything at home with them. Parental rearing patterns shape children's character in their daily life and education. In order to promote children's development in the direction expected by parents, most parents will adopt the form of reward, guidance and punishment to regulate children's behavior. Among them, there are still many differences about whether parents should punish their children, but in real life, parents will punish their children's wrong behavior more or less by corporal punishment, reprimand, deprivation of rights (such as not watching TV or going out to play) or pulling away from love (such as alienation and indifference). Family is an important place for children's socialization and personality development. Because parents play an authoritative role in family life, their punishment has an important influence on the shaping of children's early behavior and the future development of mental health. For example, many children are often severely punished by corporal punishment. Even if there is a slight mistake, their parents will beat them face to face: slapping, kicking, whipping, catching them and throwing them on the sofa. It is novel. Parents can't be role models for their children if they can't be self-disciplined. Parents often tell their children, "Do as I say, but don't learn from me." Parents drink too much, or swear in front of their children, or even fight. They lack the minimum self-control and the dignity and rationality of their elders; They describe it as sloppy, messy, even lazy and treacherous; Their lives are chaotic, but they force their children to live in an orderly way. How did this happen? If the father always beats the child's mother, then the mother will punish her son for bullying her sister. What does this mean to his son? How can you expect your son to listen to her and control his emotions? In the hearts of young children, parents are as powerful as God. Children lack other imitators, and naturally accept their parents' methods of dealing with problems as the golden rule. Parents know self-discipline, self-esteem and self-control. If life and work are orderly, children will get the message and take this as the highest criterion. Parents' life is chaotic and willful, and children are also accepting everything as the only way. Child psychologists have summarized the influence of family rearing patterns on children: arbitrary and rude parenting patterns often make children dissatisfied and produce personality defects such as fear and doubt; The laissez-faire parenting style is easy to make children immature, blindly confident or conceited, and let themselves go; Inconsistent educational methods easily lead to children's hypocritical and vain character; The democratic and harmonious parenting style enables children to have a strong sense of independence, be able to live in harmony with others, be confident and self-reliant, have a sense of security and have a spirit of exploration. So how exactly do you educate your children? What's your parenting style? For example, children's paranoid personality has a lot to do with being scolded by their parents and their different ways of discipline; Being restricted by family, scolding and punishing more, the persistence of such incidents makes children's psychological burden heavier, which is one of the factors leading to the occurrence and development of ADHD; Parents are too strict and rude to their children, which has an important influence on the behavior problems of school-age children and is one of the factors that cause children's negative, withdrawn, depressed or aggressive, disciplinary behavior and other problems. Educational suggestion: Try to make your parenting style close to democracy, equality, openness, harmony, friendliness, warmth and love. Second, understanding education Today's quality education The basic goal of implementing quality education in Shandong Province can be summarized as "three comprehensiveness" and "three regression". Namely: building qualified schools in an all-round way, implementing the national curriculum plan in an all-round way and cultivating qualified students in an all-round way; Return time to students, health to students and ability to students. "It is the responsibility of the government to build a qualified school in an all-round way at the government level. The basic point of education fairness and education balance is to make every school meet the national school-running standards, which is the basis of promoting quality education. At the school level, the national curriculum plan should be fully implemented. As the main body of running a school, a school must offer all courses and classes according to the national curriculum plan, because the basic quality of students is first reflected in the national curriculum. Teachers should cultivate qualified students in an all-round way The pursuit of enrollment rate must not be at the expense of some underachievers. It is the responsibility of every teacher to pay attention to every child and not give up every child. Primary education is to lay the foundation for life. Basic knowledge and ability are very important, but the foundation of being a man is more important. The national primary school curriculum is: moral character (3 hours per week), Chinese (8 hours), mathematics (4 hours), science (2 hours), music (2 hours), art (2 hours), English (3 hours), physical education (3 hours), computer (1 hour) and comprehensive practice (2 hours). Why does the country set up courses and arrange class hours in this way is the result of several people's assumptions or scientific argumentation. Parents should judge for themselves whether parents and teachers think it is correct or the national policy is correct, and how we should implement and maintain these curriculum requirements. Knowing the education policy, when educating and disciplining children, you may have a steelyard and a lamp in your heart, and you will not be biased towards children's school and education without knowing anything; Understand the education policy, you will stand in the perspective of maintaining education, and work with the school to carry out beneficial, effective and appropriate education for children; Knowing the educational policy, the whole society, both inside and outside the school will form a unified educational force and implement consistent education for students. Third, understand the child 1, parents need to understand the critical period of children's development education (the critical period is the critical age, the best age, the critical period and the sensitive period indicated by scientific research). 5 to 6 years old is the key period to master vocabulary. 9 ~ 10 years old is a critical period for children's behavior to shift from focusing on results to focusing on motivation. Early childhood is a critical period for the development of observation. The second grade is a critical period for the cultivation of study habits. The third and fourth grades of primary school are the key period of subject differentiation. The third and fourth grades of junior high school and senior high school are the critical period for the development of logical thinking. Primary school is the key period of memory development, and junior high school is the key period of meaningful memory. The key period of cultivating good behavior habits is early childhood and primary school, supplemented by junior high school. 2. Parents need to know the common sense of mental health of primary school students (childhood): school adaptation-in the family, it mainly includes mental health guidance such as adaptation to schedule, campus etiquette, adaptation to going to and from school, adaptation to homework and games, health adaptation, self-study and adaptation to life (adaptation to school curriculum, adaptation to campus, adaptation to collective life, adaptation to classroom atmosphere, and compliance with rules and regulations); Learning adaptation-research on learning methods, interest in learning, guidance on study fatigue and learning difficulties, guidance on extracurricular learning, and evaluation of students' academic performance; Interpersonal communication-psychological health guidance such as teacher-student communication, peer communication, group communication, family member communication and social communication; Moral development-psychological health guidance such as moral behavior training, bad behavior correction and good character shaping. 3. Primary school students' temperament types and what parents need to know: choleric quality: unstoppable, the excitement process is stronger than the inhibition process, belonging to the excitable and bohemian type. Gally people are easily excited, their mood changes violently, they are energetic, straightforward, excited and enthusiastic, and their actions are unbalanced. Brave people who work periodically can overcome the difficulties in progress with great enthusiasm, but if they encounter setbacks, they may lose confidence and turn into depression. Likui jy and Zhang Fei. Easy to be manic. We should keep our ambition, self-confidence, enthusiasm and initiative, give full play to our characteristics of being good at independent thinking in life and work and study, make friends with our frankness and sincerity, and become a popular person. However, we should pay attention to overcoming the problems of carelessness and simplification, and we can deliberately "think twice before you act" in our daily life. Trust in yourself should be based on seeking truth from facts, otherwise it will become headstrong. We should control our unrestrained emotions and let them last for a long time, not for a moment. Bloody: lively, flexible, sensitive, very active and excited when stimulated, and prone to drowsiness when not stimulated. Fast, flexible, lively and sensitive. I like to associate with people, my attention is easy to shift, my interests are easy to change, my flexibility is high, I am good at communication, I am easy to adapt to the new environment, and I am easy to do things in groups and full of energy. Quick thinking, sensitive to new things, easy to engage in a variety of jobs, and will lose enthusiasm if you are not satisfied with your interest. Wang Xifeng. Bloody people can give full play to their wit, liveliness and adaptability to environmental changes, make suggestions in collective activities, and add color to the whole activity with their vitality and vivid words and expressions. But we should pay attention to maintaining emotional stability and don't develop the habit of being hot and cold. Being quick-witted and interested in a wide range does not mean that you can be smarter and have a little knowledge in your studies. It is necessary to correct the characteristics of doing things only for speed and not for quality. Mucous substance: quiet type, with stability characteristics. , has formed a conditioned reflex, not easy to transform. Because of the inertia of neural process, it is difficult to adapt to the rapidly changing environment, with firm will and slow action. This type is quiet, steady, slow to reflect, taciturn, difficult to express emotions, and it is difficult to shift attention to stability. You have strong self-control, hard work and moderate communication. Not flexible enough, obviously lazy, not good at updating, conformism. Lin chong. People with mucus study hard and do things in an orderly way. Emotional stability and strong self-control are all positive aspects to be carried forward. But stability is not rigid and stubborn, especially for new things, we should look at them from a new angle and in a new way, and we should not stick to the rules. If you can add some enthusiasm to the calmness in interpersonal communication, I believe it will be more popular. Usually, you can participate in some group activities intentionally, and gradually form the habit of being lively and alert in group activities, which complements the good characteristics of mucilage. Depression: cowardice. Sensitive, slow, profound, sentimental, hesitant, indecisive, but careful, cautious, sensitive, in a friendly and United group, can get along well with people. Vulnerable to depression. People with depression can observe things that are difficult for ordinary people to perceive, and their feelings are delicate and profound. Only by maintaining meticulous characteristics can they seriously complete their work and study tasks. But be careful not to overdo it and get suspicious. There is no need to dwell on the unhappiness in life for a long time, because setbacks make life necessary. We should communicate with people more and learn normal ways to vent our feelings, so that life will be much easier and better. How to treat different types of children: restrain the strong reaction to strong types, learn to be tough and self-controlled, and cultivate quiet and steady work habits; For the weak type, it is necessary to cultivate strong will, excellent character and self-confidence. Some surveys also show that people with mucus type and depression type are prone to inferiority, depression and depression, which is not good for mental health. There are many educational contents that parents need to know. In a few words, they can't explain the complicated and changeable education clearly. Please forgive me. I hope that parents will pay more attention to education, the development and changes of their children, study more and read more books, and find corresponding measures and help in time so as not to delay their growth. May we work together to shape the children's bright tomorrow! Thank you!