Parents' role models are the best tutors.
Family education has always attracted people's attention, and parents want their children to be healthy and smart. Children spend about one-third of their time at home from birth to adulthood. This objectively exists the influence and educational function of parents and family environment on children. Family education is very important, and Comrade Soong Ching Ling, honorary chairman of People's Republic of China (PRC), has the deepest understanding of this. She said, "In the final analysis, a child's personality and talent are deeply influenced by his family, parents and especially his mother. When children grow up, it is the family that leaves an indelible mark. This is because parents are the children's first teachers. " Chairman Soong Ching Ling also started from the characteristics that children like to imitate, and first warned parents to pay attention to "setting an example". She said: "Everything adults say and do is a role model for children. When adults lie to children, children learn to lie to others. " When adults hit children, children learn to bully others. "
In children's minds, parents' behavior is their role model, and parents' role model is the best tutor. Parents have the experience that when our children were very young, their manners and even their walking posture were all demonstrated by their parents. In early childhood, people have a strong ability to imitate, and in this period, children mainly live with their parents and are influenced by their parents. Parents, like painters and sculptors, have a subtle influence on their children with their words and deeds. When Monk was a child, he always asked why when he met something. Once, he saw the east end of the village killing pigs and asked his mother, "Mom, why do people kill pigs?" Meng Mu was busy doing something else and casually replied, "I want to give it to you!" When' tis once spoken, Meng Mu knew he had let slip and regretted it. She thought, I have always paid great attention to my words and deeds, which has a good influence on children. Now that the child has grown up and understood something, how can I lie to him? This is godson dishonesty! So Meng Mu bought pork from his neighbor for Monk to eat, which showed that he didn't cheat the children. Mencius was able to become a Confucian saint in the history of China, largely influenced by his good "silent teaching" since childhood.
Educate children to be virtuous first.
Parents should influence their children with lofty spiritual realm and noble morality in order to cultivate their good moral quality. Tao Kan, a famous Eastern Jin Dynasty star, was able to have a splendid festival because of his mother's education. Tao Mu attaches great importance to his son's moral cultivation. Until Tao Kan later became an official, Tao Mu still did not relax his education for his son. That was when Tao Kan was a county magistrate in Xunyang County. There was a fish season coming, Tao Kan pointed out.
The fishermen fished all night and got a good harvest. Looking at the silvery white fish pile, Tao Kan couldn't help thinking of his mother who had been living in poverty and hardship for many years, so he sent someone to send a can of pickled fish home. At that time, it was a piece of cake for fish officials to send some fish home. But after a day, the pickled fish was returned intact by the family. The bearer also brought a letter from Tao Kan's mother. The letter said: "As an official, giving public things to my mother is not only not good for me, but also increases my worries. It is unfilial to harm many people. Scholars should have moral cultivation, behave appropriately, don't take things that shouldn't be taken casually, do things with heart, speak honestly, do what you say, and match words with deeds ... "Tao Kan was very ashamed when she received her mother's letter. From then on, I worked harder and gradually became the commander-in-chief of Wuchang satrap, Jingzhou secretariat and Bazhou army, but I didn't dare to take bribes at all. Even the spoils were all given to the soldiers, without any concealment.
Cultivating good character of honesty and loyalty to duty is the foundation of a person's foothold in the world. Parents, however, will not be confused by temporary self-interest, and always consider the healthy personality of their children everywhere. This is indeed a wise move.
Almost all great men have an outstanding elder behind them to educate and influence them, and most great men are also competent parents. Marx, the greatest revolutionary mentor and economic theorist, is a competent father. Marx attached great importance to cultivating children's love and hate. He made up stories and fairy tales, and used the Arabian Nights, which children loved, to stimulate their interest and let them learn to think and know what is good and what is bad. This not only enriches children's knowledge, but also makes them understand the truth of life. Marx raised his children carefully and became an outstanding figure when he grew up. Marx was praised by his daughters as "the most ideal friend, the kindest and most pleasant comrade."
Teach children to be human and live in the world.
Many parents think that as long as their children get good grades, they can do anything else. Personality is the highest academic qualification, and knowledge and ability are important, but the most fundamental thing is to teach children to be human and live. Lao She, a famous writer, was influenced by her mother's virtue of being hardworking, strong and earnest. Lao She's mother is hardworking.
Dear mother, she washes clothes for others all day. While Mom and Third Sister were working, Lao She was helping: handing the soldering iron, watching the fire and sending hot water. He is happy to relieve his mother's fatigue. Lao She loves flowers, cleanliness, neatness and order. These good habits are all learned from his mother. There are two jujube trees and several pomegranates and oleanders in his small yard. They are watered and cared for by their mothers, and many flowers bloom every summer. Mother cleans the yard every day, and always cleans it clean. She often cleans the table so that the old desktop will never leave dust. When his mother watered the flowers, he helped to fetch water. When his mother swept the floor, he helped to take out the garbage. Lao She kept these good habits until his later years. Lao She always cleans the room and waters the flowers by herself. He always scrubs rice bowls, teapots, tables and chairs. His clothes are never gorgeous, just neat, and his manuscripts are always clear and neat.
Parents rank first in the world, and parents in China rank last. China's parents spoil their children too much. Nowadays, some children have become "favored children" from birth. They grew up in an environment of "accommodating and pampering in every way" and lived a life of "clothes to reach out and food to mouth". Most only children are extremely independent. Some people say that our children are the generation of older children, and China has trained a generation of little emperors. According to the newspaper report, there is a child in grade three in Beijing. He doesn't even know how to peel a hard-boiled egg. The newspaper also said that a 16-year-old girl passed the postgraduate study in the United States and got the admission notice, but she was worried and left her mother who lived day and night. What kind of life should I live? ..... This is the result of poor family education, and parents feel sorry for letting their children work. Everything a child has to do is subject to a unified management policy. Children are not allowed to fold clothes, wash clothes or sweep the floor ... is this like loving children? As everyone knows, it is our kind parents who cultivate playboys and good girls. China people are famous for their hard work and frugality, and their habit of loving labor starts with small things. The practice of Lao She's mother is really worth learning from parents all over the world.
Lao She is hospitable, uninhibited, extremely enthusiastic and responsive. These characters were also passed on to him by his mother. Her mother can give the baby a bath and shave her head, and she will do whatever she can. When the guests come, no matter how poor they are, we should get some good dishes to entertain them. She always runs ahead of anyone who needs her help. His mother is very strong and generous, and never quarrels with others. Lao She inherited his mother's virtue. When he was in Chongqing, life was quite difficult. But when old friends met, Lao She sold her coat and invited friends to a small restaurant for dinner. Lao She said: "I always hold a peaceful attitude towards all people and things, and always think that suffering is a blessing. But when it comes to being a man, I have certain standards. I can do anything without exceeding it.
Draw your own bottom line. Afraid of meeting strangers, running errands and showing your face. However, when a friend is in trouble and has to do it, I dare not go, just like my mother. From private schools to primary and secondary schools, I have experienced hundreds of teachers, but I think my mother is my real teacher, and she passed on the virtues to me. My mother can't read. She gave me an education in life. "
Most of the children's good virtues are inherited from their parents. Huang Yanpei, a famous educator in China, was most influenced by his mother. He said, "There are beauties in the world, and the most beautiful person is his mother. There are good people in the world, and the best person is the mother. " Sixty years later, he clearly remembers how his mother hugged him and nursed him; How to love him when you are happy, and how to punish him sometimes when you are naughty. When he was five or six years old, his mother taught him to read and told him his father's beliefs. His mother's behavior influenced him the most. Once a friend came to a party at home, and some good dishes were placed on the table. Xiao Yanpei watched eagerly and wanted to eat. The mother seemed to see through her son's mind and explained patiently. She said, "Son! Be kind to others and save yourself. We should do this. " Xiao Yanpei remembered his mother's teaching. Later, he wrote in a poem: "The child is lazy and the mother is angry; Children are hardworking and mothers are happy. " Decades later, Huang Yanpei also used the mother's teachings to educate children.
Don't let children learn to compare.
Nowadays, most of the only children are very delicate and selfish, and they don't know how to treat others well. No one is allowed to touch his toys, and "dominating" is extremely serious. The formation of these bad habits mainly depends on the parenting style and attitude of our parents. Parents should let their children suffer, and it is difficult for delicate children to become talents in the future. Children's snacks should be moderate. In terms of dressing, it is mainly to let children dress neatly, generously and comfortably. Don't dress up beautifully, and don't let your children talk about comparison and ostentation in food and clothing. Speaking of money, who in China is richer than the Rockwell family in the United States now? Although the Rockwell family is so rich, with a billion dollars of wealth, his pocket money for children is pitiful. His aim is to make children have a sense of urgency about money at all times. He never lets his children spend money recklessly. Children should keep accounts when spending money, and record the date, amount, purpose and balance of expenditure. When children ask adults for money again, they must take out their books to investigate the rationality of the expenditure. At the same time, he also let the children shine shoes and grow vegetables, and let them try the hardships of labor.
The formation of children's hard-working and simple habits is also closely related to the influence of their fathers. Qi Jiguang, a national hero, was very strict in his education. When he was ten years old, they repaired the house at home. According to his father Qi Jingtong's plan, it is enough to install four windows in the bright room, but the craftsman said to Qi Jiguang, "Son, your home is a door, and it takes twelve carved windows to look magnificent." Qi Jiguang also thought that this was enough scenery. In an instant, he forgot his father's request for hard work and simplicity, so he passed it on to his father. He thought his father would agree.
Unexpectedly, his father severely reprimanded him and taught him to be realistic, not vain and not ostentatious. On another occasion, Qi Jiguang walked in front of the court wearing a pair of elegant silk shoes. His father saw him and scolded him again. It is said that he wore such beautiful silk shoes at an early age, but when he grows up, he will become a waste who pursues food and clothing. How can such people fight in a unified way? Even if he becomes a general in the future, he will be a scum who loves money like life, and maybe even deduct the salary of soldiers. He said that he ordered Qi Jiguang to take off his shoes and stop wearing them, so as not to form a luxury habit.
Wei Shusheng, a special teacher, said: "Many teenagers become criminals because they think that eating, drinking and having fun is the first enjoyment in life. Diligence is the foundation of being a man. Simply satisfying children's excessive material requirements means that children are immersed in honeypots from an early age. Doing so will only cultivate children's desire for pleasure and lack enterprising thoughts. If you want your children to succeed, you have to be like Qi Jiguang's father. From an early age, you have to strictly ask your children to focus on their studies instead of thinking about eating, drinking and having fun. Some parents are soft-hearted when they see their children crying and try their best to meet their children's requirements. As a result, their children become more and more willful. Chairman Soong Ching Ling said: "Some people say that we have suffered all our lives, and now we should let our children enjoy happiness. It is human nature to love children, but any doting is not conducive to the growth of children. "Zeng Guofan is a famous figure in modern China and one of the main idols worshipped by officials from the late Qing Dynasty to Chiang Kai-shek. When he was young, Mao Zedong once said, "Fools are close to others and serve Ceng Wenzheng alone." It can be seen that Zeng Guofan's influence on the world is great. Zeng Guofan attached great importance to educating his children to be diligent and thrifty, not lazy and extravagant. He said: "it is not easy to be frugal, but it is difficult to be frugal. Diligence is not discouraged, and arrogance is invincible. "
Children's success is inseparable from family education. Zeng Guofan is an expert in family education, and "Letters from Zeng Guofan" is a good book that fathers must read. Because he attaches great importance to educating his children, his sons have all become talents, his grandson has also produced great poets like Zeng, and his great-grandson has produced famous educators and scholars like Zeng Baosun. Under the guidance of Zeng Guofan, the eldest son became a famous diplomat in the late Qing Dynasty, and the second son also made great achievements in learning evaluation. Zeng Guofan's education of children has a lot to learn from. The Zeng family has always been very strict and well-behaved. Influenced by family style, Zeng Guofan was strict with his children and taught them seriously. His family lived in the countryside for a long time, and he asked his children not to be official: "Don't think about being an official for others, think about learning for others. You can't write' Hou Fu' or' Xiang Fu' on the plaque outside the door. There is chaos in the world, and such a thing may not be reliable. Being an official is only an accident, and staying at home is a long-term solution. " He once said: "Everyone wants their descendants to be big officials, but I don't want to be big officials. I hope to be a gentleman who is sensible. " He often encourages his son to study hard and make use of his lonely spirit to study. Zeng Guofan said: "Yu never abandoned his studies in the army, and his reading and writing never stopped." A moment is precious, I hope you don't waste time. "Zeng Guofan's godson experience is worth learning.
Parents should learn to let go.
Children should be allowed to do what they can independently when they grow up, which is conducive to their growth. The President and Liu Shaoqi advocate letting children do things. 1In the summer of 964, President Liu's wife Wang was squatting in Xincheng County, Hebei Province. President Liu was in Beijing at that time. He wrote to Jean 15-year-old daughter Ping.
Give it to mom flat. Chairman Liu repeatedly told the secretary not to buy tickets for her daughter, not to invite her to the railway station, and not to inform Comrade Wang to meet her at the station. Children should take care of themselves. Embarrassed, the secretary thought, Pingping is a child after all, and he has never been far away. Chairman Liu seemed to see the secretary's heart and said, "For children, one is to take care of them, and the other is to let them go. What happened? Children should be allowed to do hard work, weather the storm and see the world. In this way, the child may fall, but only in this way can he get exercise and grow better. " President Liu dares to let his 15-year-old daughter go where she has never been. How can we not let her go and let her go alone? To do your own thing?
Correctly treat children's "fun"
Parents should consciously assume the responsibility of educating their children. Chairman Soong Ching Ling once said: "Some people say that children are born with good and bad points. Some people say that children will naturally grow up when they are young. Of these two ideas, the former is the idea of innate determinism, and the latter is the idea of "keeping nature straight". This is to ignore and deny the role of education and is an incorrect view of education. " Chairman Soong Ching Ling warned parents: We recognize that children have different endowments.
But the quality of children is mainly the result of education. Children are influenced by social environment from the day they are born. They are "pale in the sky and yellow in the yellow." Parents' words and deeds, especially relatives' living habits, hobbies, ideology and morality, have a great influence on children. Comrade Soong Ching Ling also specially reminded parents to treat their children's "fun" correctly. She said, "When we see a child playing, it's not right. In fact, playing is the need of children's life. Through appropriate games, children's physical strength and intelligence can be developed, and collectivism and lively and cheerful personality can be cultivated. Don't think that you can't learn well as long as you play with other children, so keep your children at home every day. This will make the child's personality become withdrawn and selfish. Children can only grow better in group activities. When a child makes a mistake, it is not advisable for his father to play the bad COP and his mother to play the bad COP. This makes it easy for children to be afraid of one person at home and listen to only one person. If the "bad face" is not at home, children will not get timely education. "
Parents should be persuasive and educate their children to establish a correct outlook on life. Comrade Soong Ching Ling said: "Parents often like to ask their children's wishes: What will you do when you grow up? Some children answer to become engineers, doctors, musicians, athletes, the People's Liberation Army and so on. After hearing these answers, parents always praise their children's ambition and encourage them. In fact, wishing and choosing a job are two different things. Setting the goals of becoming an engineer and a doctor too early will make the purpose of children's study unclear, and with the development of all aspects in the future, these wishes of children will become unrealistic and even cause ideological burden. The real desire is not to choose a career. The key is to turn children into a piece of high-quality and useful steel. No matter what finished product you make, it will always be sharp, tough and rustless. "
Share the fun of reading with children.
Educating children is the responsibility of every parent. Reading with children often is also a way for parents to educate their children. The wife of former US President George W. Bush often reads to children and guides them in their studies. She wrote in an article: "As my parents did to me, I always insisted on reading to my children. Now I am a grandmother, and I often read for my twelve grandchildren. Over the years, I have developed the habit of reading to my children 15 minutes before going to bed. Everyone spent one happy night after another with their favorite books. When I was a child, many elders read to me, including father, mother, grandmother and so on. Reading is not only to learn reading skills, but also to cultivate children's sense of participation. It can make the family atmosphere more warm and harmonious, and let children feel the joy of being caressed. Whenever I read to my grandchildren and tell stories, the children know that grandma will lead them into a new world. I always try my best to connect the children with the characters in the story. They are used to playing themselves as characters in stories in the process of listening. Letting children develop the habit of listening to adults from an early age will bring endless happiness to their lives. "
Strive to achieve the future of children.
Behind a good child, there must be a good elder who teaches him lifelong benefits. Behind a bad boy, there is often an incompetent elder who gives him a misleading message that he can never get rid of. Parents should consciously assume the responsibility of educating their children. With correct guidance and patient education, rotten wood can be carved. Witt, a "born genius and superman prodigy" in Germany, appeared a little demented after his birth, and his neighbors agreed that he was a "stupid child". His parents are also saddened by this, but they have not lost confidence in teaching their son to become a talent. They believe that "even if an ordinary child is born with only 50 talents, as long as he is properly educated, his intelligence will surpass that of a child born with 80 talents."
When Witt can understand adults a little, his parents try their best to enlighten their children's wisdom by telling stories, reading picture books, playing games and walking. When Witt was three years old, his father began to teach him to read. By the time Victor was five or six years old, he could easily remember more than 30,000 words. Father also specially made a "behavior record" for him, and wrote it down when he did good deeds as a permanent memorial. Under the careful education of Witt's parents, Witt finally changed from a gifted child to a talented person, creating a miracle in the history of education.
The emergence of "prodigy" is the result of painstaking management and cultivation by parents. The father of Mozart, the "prodigy"
Qin is a famous musician in China. He worked hard to train Mozart. He once said to a person, "I want to spend the rest of my life with my children." It was because of his father's contribution that Mozart later became a veritable musical prodigy; Goethe was also called a "child prodigy" in his childhood, and a child prodigy was also educated. His mother still missed Goethe's education when she was ill.
| A child prodigy is not born. Edison, the "king of invention" in the United States, was once regarded as a "big fool" by the school. In order to train a slow child into an extraordinary genius, Edison's mother devoted almost all her efforts.
A child becomes a good person, benefiting the society, the people, the present and the neighborhood, but it is his parents and himself who live the fullest and benefit the most.
A child becomes a bad person, suffering from the society, the people, the collective and the neighborhood, but the most painful thing is the child himself and his parents.
Educating children is the responsibility of every parent. "The fate of the world is not in the hands of those in power, but in the hands of every parent." Parents are children's first teachers, and family is the first classroom for children's education. It's all parents' fault whether to raise or not to teach, so family education is very important. School education can't replace family education. Children spend most of their time at home, and children have special dependence on their parents. In front of parents, children's shortcomings and problems are fully exposed, and their advantages are more real. Parents are the most targeted in education. Under the influence of family education, how many scientists, thinkers and writers have appeared in history since ancient times ... How important is the influence of family education on children's growth! Good family education will benefit children for life.