However, in modern families, frustration education is relatively lacking. For some "little emperors" and "little princesses", they don't even know what a setback is, which is extremely unfavorable for their growth. Therefore, frustration education is essential in modern children's education. Children must be taught that the road to growth cannot be smooth sailing, and success is often accompanied by hardships and setbacks. This will become an indispensable nutritional feast for children's growth.
As parents, how to educate their children about setbacks? 1. Make children aware of setbacks.
The so-called frustration refers to people's nervous state and negative emotional reaction when they encounter obstacles and interference that they can't overcome or think they can't overcome in order to meet their own needs and achieve specific goals.
So how can we make children aware of setbacks? Different age stages will give him different setbacks:
For a young child, when he wants to play with toys, his mother will put it away;
When he wanted to eat snacks, his mother stopped him;
When he wants to have something, his mother tries to stop him;
……
These things are setbacks for children, which can make children aware of setbacks and lead to the formation of his frustration. Parents should let their children know that they are facing a society full of competition everywhere, and they must accept hardships, so that they can dare to face setbacks and not be afraid of failure. Only in this way can we be more competitive in survival.
In fact, no one can avoid setbacks. Since there is no way to avoid it, it is only for children to realize setbacks as soon as possible and then face them.
2. Let children understand the reasons for setbacks.
In order to let children overcome setbacks, we should not only let them know about setbacks, but also let them know the reasons for their formation. Because only by blocking setbacks from the source can we better face and solve problems.
So what are the reasons for the setbacks? Pursue unrealistic goals;
Lack of psychological preparation for the difficulties that may be encountered in the process of pursuing goals;
Lack of ability, do not know how to deal with difficulties;
Lack of self-confidence, exaggerating difficulties into insurmountable obstacles;
Self-demand is too high, I hope I can do everything and be the second best;
There are some unrealistic expectations, and everything is competitive;
Parents accommodate everywhere and fully meet the needs of their children;
Parents are too protective and arranged, and children's multiple abilities are not well exercised;
……
Therefore, when giving children proper frustration education, we should also avoid entering these misunderstandings, otherwise children will face more and more setbacks, so that they will eventually be defeated by setbacks.
3. Give children "bitter education" appropriately.
What is "bitter education"? As the name implies, it is to educate children and cultivate their frustration by making them suffer. It is impossible for a child not to encounter setbacks in his life. In order to make children suffer less in later life, in the process of their growth, parents should carefully design a beneficial educational environment, appropriately let their children suffer, experience it for themselves, and cultivate their courage and ability to bear setbacks.
In daily life, parents consciously set some difficulties, such as letting their children dress themselves, tie their shoelaces, make their beds, and collect toys. And encourage children to do their own things and learn to do things they can't do.
This is the truth that "when you are young, you suffer more, and when you are old, you enjoy more". However, although many parents understand this truth, they always just stay in words. Without that heart, they dare not put their children in difficulties. Parents should also pay attention to this. Since you want to give your child the best, you should give him the best "hardship education", set some difficulties appropriately, let the child experience setbacks, and don't prevent the child from accepting difficulties and setbacks properly. Frustration education is actually an indispensable nutrition in the process of children's growth, and parents must not ignore this important issue.
4. Make good use of children's setbacks
Every time a child experiences a setback, it is an excellent opportunity to cultivate his endurance. Parents should make good use of these setbacks, cultivate his frustration consciousness through these events, help him find the reasons, face up to the reality, optimistically recover losses or make up for mistakes, prevent psychological shadows from being buried, and make him stronger.
5. Let children face setbacks alone.
Parents can't follow their children all their lives, and children have to face their own lives alone after all. Therefore, parents should let go as soon as possible, let the children face setbacks alone, and let the children find ways to solve the difficulties themselves. Life always grows in setbacks and hardships; Thought always matures in vagrancy and frustration; Will is always strong in cruelty and ruthlessness.
A young American couple took their 7-year-old son on an outing. All three of them rode bicycles and crossed a muddy road. The couple rode a car with a big wheel diameter, and they pushed hard through it. Their son's stroller got stuck in the mud. The couple didn't come back to help their son, but encouraged them to say, "Good son, take out the courage of a man and take a break." I walked on for a while and hid in the shelter to observe how the children crossed the dirt road.
The child can't ride, so he has to push down, take a few steps, dig the mud on the wheel with his little hand, push a few more steps and dig for a while ... The child is covered in sweat and mud, and his mother wants to help, but his father flatly refuses. He wants the child to face the whole difficulty alone.
When the child struggled out of the muddy ground, his parents appeared in front of him again and only said, "Good! My son is like a man! " The three of them talked and laughed and walked on.
Frustration is a great wealth of life, and it is also a mentor and friend of life. It can teach us many survival skills and let us know how to face life. If children can face some difficulties alone, then these skills and life-oriented thinking can be owned by them.
6. Educate children, and struggle is more necessary in adversity.
People who grow up through setbacks in adversity are more competitive and have stronger viability. Why is this happening? Because people who struggle in adversity have both failed lessons and successful experiences, and become more mature. Success is based on failure. Only those who know how to struggle and work hard on this basis have the style of laughing at setbacks and facing difficulties, and have the courage to face setbacks.
Therefore, parents should educate their children not to be afraid in the face of adversity, but to struggle. Let children understand from an early age that life is like a mirror. If you cry at it, it will cry at you. If you smile at it, it will smile back at you. The more you struggle, the smaller the setback and the closer you are to success.
7. Educate children to accept setbacks and use them.
Whether setbacks are good or bad for everyone, no one can say clearly, it depends on everyone. People with poor psychological endurance are easily overwhelmed by difficulties, while strong people can often find a way to succeed in setbacks. This means that when parents educate their children, they should know how to let them accept setbacks and use them to sum up their own experiences and lessons.
Frustration is not without its merits. Teach children not to reject blindly, and don't stop them from appearing blindly. Let nature take its course, accept it when it comes, then sum it up, and then slowly, setbacks will automatically leave you.
8. Cultivate children's psychological quality
In order for children to better face setbacks, withstand the test of great changes in the external environment, adhere to their own pursuits and beliefs in the face of setbacks, and better survive in the future society, it is necessary to cultivate children with good psychological quality and mental state.
Tell your child: "There is no smooth sailing on the road to growth. Only by constantly improving their psychological quality can we have a tenacious spirit and an optimistic attitude and usher in success. "
Peng Liang 1 1 years old, in grade three. One day, another class began to beat his classmates. The classmate who was beaten broke his glasses and his eyes were punctured, which was very serious. Peng Liang rushed over without hesitation, put his hands around the hitter, stopped the development of the situation, and called several students in this class to report to the teacher, and found a car to take the injured to the hospital respectively.
He resolutely proposed to go to an eye hospital on the grounds that the specialized hospital was sure to cure it. Helpless, the eye hospital cannot be treated because of internal repair. He also directed the driver's master to go to the nearest hospital, and told his mother who works in the Municipal Health Bureau to come over immediately, and invited the hospital director to be present ... By the time the relatives and teachers of the injured arrived, everything had been arranged, which was amazing.
Speaking of this matter, people say that Peng Liang's psychological quality is quite good, otherwise it would be impossible to be so calm and arrange things so properly.
Whether it is life or work, whether you feel frustrated is often the key to success or failure. People who are frustrated know how to persist and eventually succeed. This is an unchangeable truth for thousands of years, and parents must pay attention to it when educating their children.