Suggestion: get rid of the shackles of the starting line and seize the critical period of children's development.
Reporter: The children of neighbors' friends learned a lot of words and recited several stories when they were only two years old. Some parents began to be anxious, fearing that literacy education would make their children lose at the starting line, so they posted a lot of wall charts at home and began to teach their children literacy over and over again. In the process of family education, there are many "learning in advance" and "pulling out seedlings to help others" similar to "early literacy". Primary school junior students learn senior content, senior students learn junior high school content ... learning in advance really won't lose at the starting line?
Bian: Actually, the earlier a child can read, the better. First of all, early literacy does not conform to children's thinking level, because preschool children's thinking mode prefers intuitive, visual and perceptible things, especially before the age of 3, literacy is too boring and abstract, which is easy to cause greater burden. Secondly, after early literacy, children are "bound" by words. When reading illustrated information, they read more words than actively observe the details of pictures and exert their imagination. This makes children enter the symbol stage prematurely, and the effect is quick at first, but there will be problems in their imagination later. Third, when children go to school, children who read early will find the content of the class boring, have little interest in learning, and easily develop bad study habits.
In the process of family education, there are many misunderstandings like "early literacy" and "learning in advance". So will this really not let children lose at the starting line? In fact, the starting line should refer to the best period of training different abilities and qualities, that is, the critical period. For example, 0-3 years old is an important period for children's oral development. At this stage, children should not be forced to read, but should pay attention to the cultivation of oral language expression ability In addition, children should be encouraged to participate in various activities in early childhood, cultivate good study and living habits in primary school, help children to adjust their emotions and get through adolescence smoothly in junior high school, and respect their choices in senior high school to realize self-education. In the critical period, some behaviors, skills and abilities of people develop the fastest. If you educate your children at this age, you can get twice the result with half the effort, but once you miss this age, the effect will be much worse. Therefore, some abilities do not need to be cultivated too early, which will not only fail to achieve the desired results, but will affect the development of other important abilities, among which parents regret that their children are tired of learning.
Myth 2: Pay more attention to IQ than EQ.
Suggestion: Get rid of the shackles of scores and attach importance to the development of emotional intelligence such as children's ability to delay gratification.
Reporter: Now some parents focus on their children's study and improve their grades. They only pay attention to the cultivation of children's intelligence, talent and skills, constantly buy educational products for children, and fill their lives with various interest classes and remedial classes. Can such education really produce successful children?
Bian Yu Fang: This is also one of the misunderstandings in family education: attaching importance to IQ and neglecting EQ. Emotional intelligence is one of the important skills of our happy life, including self-control, emotional adjustment, delayed satisfaction, anti-frustration, interpersonal skills and so on. Some psychologists have suggested that only 20% of a person's success comes from IQ and 80% depends on EQ. If intelligence is regarded as an individual's potential ability, then EQ is the key to unlock these potentials.
Delayed gratification is an important aspect of children's EQ, but parents in China don't attach importance to it. In shopping malls and parks, it is not difficult to see children rolling around to achieve their goals, and it is not difficult to see parents compromising for face and fear of trouble. In fact, the cultivation of emotional intelligence will not only affect children's future life, but also affect their learning effect and intellectual development. Children's development in different fields is interrelated and influential, and children's development in all aspects is inseparable. For example, many psychological and brain science studies show that emotions will affect the realization of brain functions, and play a role in promoting or hindering brain functions, including the ability to concentrate and solve problems. If the focus of family education is entirely on IQ training, it is undoubtedly forcing children to walk on one foot, laying a hidden danger for their future development.
Myth 3: Emphasize intervention and ignore children's independent growth.
Suggestion: Get rid of excessive control behavior, trust children and provide them with independent development space.
Reporter: Many parents like to be designers of their children's lives. From the birth of a child, to school, to choosing a major, and then to employment, parents have designed his life development trajectory in advance. What consequences will such education bring to children's growth?
Bian: Parents design their children's life path out of kindness, so they can avoid detours. Parents are always worried that if they let their children make their own decisions, they will make mistakes. They always think that "it doesn't matter whether children like it or not now. When they grow up, they will understand our intentions." But unconsciously, parents' excessive intervention and control will become a stumbling block on their children's development path, which will reduce their growth space and make them have no opportunity and motivation to explore and develop their potential independently. The study found that children are more willing to work hard and have stronger motivation when their goals are set by themselves rather than imposed by others. If children lack self-exploration, they only know how to obey their parents' or others' arrangements and become what others expect, and they are often afraid of change. When encountering setbacks, they are easy to avoid problems and lose their goals and confidence.
Therefore, the child's life belongs to the child, and the growth of the child needs self-exploration, which cannot be replaced by others. Please leave enough room for children to grow up, give them more guidance and companionship, give them more opportunities to try, let children grow up freely and healthily, and walk out of their own happy life.