Therefore, emotional intelligence is the key!
First of all, American psychologist Daniel Gorman found that a person's emotional intelligence has a very important influence on his performance in the workplace. For example, for a person's job performance, the influence of EQ is twice that of IQ, which means EQ: IQ = 2: 1.
Secondly, happiness-related research found that almost 100% of the factors that affect our happiness are related to emotional intelligence. In addition, emotional intelligence is also closely related to academic performance. And academic performance = IQ (learning ability)+EQ (EQ).
Therefore, in family education, the most important role of parents is actually the "emotional intelligence coach" of children.
I have always advocated that the goal of family education in the new century should be to cultivate "three good children": "good emotional intelligence", "good habits" and "good health". Because this "new three good" is the key to children's future happiness.
What is EQ?
In the simplest terms, EQ is "a person's ability to use emotions". A person with high EQ can better perceive and manage his own emotions, better understand others' emotions and create win-win interpersonal relationships.
Common EQ includes self-confidence, empathy, anger management, conflict management, self-control, anti-frustration, cooperation and communication. Is EQ far from children?
Emotional intelligence training should start with children, because if emotional intelligence is not good, it will have a negative impact on children's performance in all aspects. Psychological research found that children with poor emotional intelligence often have the following performances:
● Children have no motivation to learn.
● Children lack happiness and vitality.
● Children lack communication skills.
To cultivate children with high emotional intelligence, parents must first learn to be parents with high emotional intelligence.
I once met a parent who came to me with a child for help. He said, "Dr. Zhang, my child always likes to hit people at school. It's no use teaching him a lesson. What do you suggest? " The parent has been patting the child on the head while talking. This behavior of children is mainly caused by parents' educational methods. Parents regard violence as a discipline, and children learn the violent behavior of "beating people to solve contradictions". Many children's behavior problems are often rooted in parents' improper emotional intelligence education. Therefore, parents can only teach children with high emotional intelligence if they first improve themselves and become parents with high emotional intelligence!
How to become an EQ coach?
How do parents become popular EQ coaches for their children? The operation mode of brain nerve points out that parents should abide by the rule of "dealing with emotions first, then dealing with things"
My research found that parents' EQ education styles can be roughly divided into the following five categories.
1, ostrich (neglected type): I don't care or pay attention to the negative emotions of children.
2. Tiger (repressive): Dissatisfied with children's negative emotions, scolded and punished.
3, sheep (powerless): children will appease and compromise as soon as they have negative emotions.
4. Kangaroo (understanding type): Accepting children's negative emotions, but without setting practices, they often get into trouble.
These four kinds of EQ education methods are not ideal. I think the style of EQ education is a style that gives consideration to both emotional support and normative behavior. I call them "shepherd" parents.
Shepherd's practice is to "accept emotions and make rules" and teach children to find emotional solutions.
Emotional intelligence affects a child's life. EQ education should be the basis of family education. Let's pay attention to the emotional intelligence growth of children and help them face a happy and successful future!