Raising children is very different from working. As long as you work hard, you will be rewarded accordingly. However, you have always been meticulous about your children. What you can get is not filial piety and understanding, but endless complaints.
At this time, most parents began to criticize and blame their children, but ignored that they raised them themselves. There is something wrong with children, probably because of their education.
Liu Zhixiong, a parent-child expert in Taiwan Province, is visiting a friend's house. At that time, his 7-year-old son was very naughty and kept making trouble in the living room. He even patted Liu Zhixiong on the head with his hand.
A series of children's behaviors made Liu Zhixiong feel very uncomfortable. He thinks children shouldn't be like this, but it's embarrassing that only Liu Zhixiong thinks so, and his friends and family didn't respond.
What Liu Zhixiong can't understand most is that when a 7-year-old wants to go to the toilet, he doesn't run to the toilet by himself, but stands on the sofa and shouts "I have to pee".
The whole family didn't think it was rude. Instead, they scrambled to get the bedpan. After grandpa got the bedpan, he held it high and shouted "Good grandson, pee quickly".
It is not difficult to imagine that this 7-year-old boy must be responsive and do whatever he wants at home, but indulging the child in this way will only make the child more and more uncertain.
The most ruthless revenge in feelings is to let a person rely on it completely and then leave. There is nothing more hurtful in the parent-child relationship, which satisfies all the requirements of the child, but one day has to refuse him.
Another extreme education is "You are my child, and I must be responsible for everything for you".
Peking University student Wang Menghei's parents for 6 years, 12 didn't go home, and sent a long article accusing them. But his mother said that she didn't feel anything after reading the letter, and even felt that Wang Meng's previous discipline was not enough.
This kind of love and education is just the opposite of child-centered satisfaction, putting children at the bottom and parents at the top.
Li Meijin once said that parents no longer care about their children, which is not love, but poison. When parents tried to discipline them, they found it was too late.
Teach children not to go to extremes. The more extreme the parents' education, the bigger the children's problems.
Li Meijin pointed out that parents should make "three unaccustomed and two unaccustomed" and let their children take fewer detours in their growth, so that parents' education is meaningful.
The so-called "three unaccustomed" means respect, responsibility and unaccustomed bottom line. Education for children should first have a boundary between right and wrong. If you can't even do basic behavioral constraints, children are more likely to take detours.
Children's sense of responsibility and respect for others are the foundation of society. They don't respect others, don't want to take responsibility, and will only be eliminated gradually.
Never mind what children can do independently, and never mind the small setbacks that children can bear by themselves.
It is necessary to cultivate children's ability to think and deal with problems independently and give them a chance to try while ensuring safety. If everything is arranged for children, children will lose room for growth.
Now that you have children, let them learn to bear and enjoy the fruits of their efforts. The correct education is to make children become independent individuals with thoughts. The role of parents is only to guide, and too much participation and control will lead to both losses.