Li Yuxi, Class 6, Grade 1, Tashan Middle School Parents: Geng Xiaojie

Mr. Huangfu is a well-known educational practitioner, deputy head of the national general research group on formative education, and head of the family education expert group of the Children Development Research Center of China Care for the Next Generation Working Committee. I have done psychological counseling for more than 4,000 primary and secondary school students and conducted in-depth educational dialogues with more than 3,000 families.

From the figures of 4,000 and 3,000, it can be seen that Mr. Huangfu is not a theoretical educator, but an educational practitioner. He has accumulated in-depth practice in five areas: family education, learning psychology, moral education, learning ability and learning methods.

Teacher Huang Fu interprets family education from the perspectives of Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism and Chinese medicine culture in the book Nourishing the Heart with Heart, and points out the roots of family education in China and the ways to solve the problems.

Because this book is very rich in family education, I can only share one thing that has benefited me a lot and touched me deeply, that is, family culture. Interested parents can use this as a starting point to read teacher Huangfu's book, thus forming family education knowledge and organizing family education knowledge.

Teacher Huang Fu believes that the root of family education is the inheritance of family culture. All external forms of family education are a manifestation of family culture, which determines the mode of family education, parents' educational awareness, educational concepts, methods and contents of educating children. Family culture is the soul of family education. Patriarchal culture and matriarchal culture constitute the two poles of family culture. Only when patrilineal culture and matriarchal culture work together can a good family education be formed.

Let's talk about paternal culture first.

1, the word "gang" appears at the beginning of the father.

The word is the possibility of maintaining a good education. My understanding of the "rigidity" of paternal culture should be preserved in principle, just like Ceng Zi's killing pigs, and the promise must be fulfilled. A father is an emissary who wants his children to grow up. When the child turns a corner, the father must stay there and give the child a correct direction. The rigidity of fatherly love also shows that the father gave the child a sense of security. The child's heart is at ease at the thought of his father.

A father should have a high level of thinking.

The height of the father's thought determines the height of the child's life. Father can't be a showstopper, a troublemaker or a bookkeeper. Otherwise, my father's reason is reasonable. Only when the father has a certain ideological height can the child clearly understand where to go and what to do.

3. Father's vision and mind

A person's vision determines his mind.

The farther he looks, the more he can bear the burden and difficulties of reality. A child must stand behind him for at least five years to help him grow up now. The two words that my father usually wants to express most are "tolerance"

The farther you look, nothing can interfere with him. As long as it is within the scope of his planning, no one can interfere with or destroy his state. If a father can have a long-term vision and control his children's current education, it is to educate people and not to work hard on simple things. It is necessary to be "simple in form and refined in mind" and simplify the form as much as possible; Be very precise in your thoughts.

Teacher Huangfu's interpretation of maternal culture is my greatest gain from reading this book. Motherhood culture summarizes weakness, softness and powerlessness in three words:

The first word is "virtual". My understanding of "virtual" includes two meanings.

First of all, mothers should give their children enough space to develop their nature. They should not always stare at their children and pay close attention to them for fear that they will make any mistakes or disasters. Is there a situation where the child is in the study and the mother suspects that the child is doing homework, sending a glass of water, or sneaking around under other flags? When the child is doing homework, you can leave at ease, but the child's heart is very keen and he finds that your intention has been tightened. Such parents actually destroy the space for children to stretch their nature.

Another situation is that the child is not doing his homework, but playing with his mobile phone. How's it going? Parents who can't be empty will immediately point out their children's problems. In most cases, mothers and children are stiff. This is the second meaning of emptiness that I want to say, that is, unreal. Believe that children have powerful self-correction and self-repair functions. In the process of self-correction and self-repair, children learn to manage themselves. If the children's problems are discovered and managed by the mother, then the children's problems will be more and more. Why? Because children are not self-disciplined.

Therefore, don't move when you see the advantages and disadvantages of your child. Only when a mother sees her child's strengths and weaknesses can she give her child inner growth motivation. A mother who can't be empty can't provide space for children's emotions, and children's emotions are surrounded by mothers' emotions.

Education is too dead to be true (true) and you can't find yourself. It's like grasping something for a long time, holding it in your hand feels nothing; But the more carefully you pinch two fingers, the more you can feel its existence and its weight. Therefore, you don't need to be too real to really grasp things. If you are too real, you will lose your feelings. Mothers need to find this state.

The second word is "weak". Mothers learn to show weakness in front of their children. It is difficult for children with strong mothers to be confident, and their self-confidence will be weakened little by little in your state. A mother who can show weakness in front of her children must be confident and strong inside. Do you want your children to be confident? Learn to show weakness in front of children, and showing weakness can help children. Parents who speak their children's minds are actually suppressing their growth and development. Teach children to fear sincerity, trust and respect.

The third word is "soft". The real strength of a mother, the educational strength of a mother, lies in how to be so "soft" in the face of the child's growth process. The gentler a mother is, the stronger her command ability is in front of her children. Any mother who screams at her children all day will gradually lose this guiding ability among her children. Once the mother shows softness, the child's inner self-discipline will be awakened. No one wants to be irrational and out of control in front of such a beautiful mood, and no one wants to destroy such a beautiful mood. The child whose daughter goes to kindergarten and stays in the kindergarten yard at the latest every day is usually the one whose mother shouted at the top of her lungs at the beginning. Shouting too much, the mother's words are basically blocked by the children, turning a deaf ear to the children.

When I first learned and understood the comparison between what Mr. Huangfu did and what I did, I found that I did some things better, such as doing things in vain and giving children time and space to grow up.

Of course, there are many places where I haven't done enough. For example, my daughter practiced guzheng, which was very utilitarian for a while. It is particularly urgent to see that her children have not made progress in piano learning. When children make mistakes, they yell at them and occasionally become cold and violent, so that once she was angry, her daughter cried and said to me, Mom, don't do this. If there is a problem, I will correct it. Later, thinking about the scene at that time, I was particularly distressed by my children. No matter what state the child is in, ensuring the mother's emotional calm is your greatest education for the child.

Every parent wants his son to be a dragon and his daughter to be a phoenix. If parents only give pressure to their children and don't actively grow up, how much pain the children have to bear. Therefore, when I read teacher Huangfu's book, I understand that it is the growth of parents that promotes the growth of children, the cultivation of parents that nourishes the Excellence of children, and the family culture that determines the width and breadth of children's lives and how high and far children can fly.

Family education has three levels: Taoism, law and art. In education, the power of skills is limited. What do parents really lack in educating their children? What they really lack is not the method, but the realm, which is the educational realm of parents, that is, the level of Tao.

The best state of education lies in the word "education". Family education focuses on nurturing, not teaching. At present, children's learning problems, all kinds of problems are summed up as lack of mental energy, and their hearts are facing lack of enthusiasm for learning. Fish farming focuses on water, trees focus on roots, and people focus on their hearts. This is the first sentence I remember from teacher Huangfu. If a child's heart is not maintained at home and cannot be effectively nourished, there will be no foundation for natural intelligence. No matter how high the IQ is, it is difficult to give full play to one's talents without appropriate and corresponding psychological support.

I think the goal of family education can be summarized in three ways: first, meditation, second, comfort and third, peace of mind. If you keep the goal of caring in mind, you will relax in educating your children, and everything will be done in vain.

If our educational status has not changed, changed or improved, don't worry about how much our children's learning status and life interest will change. That's just a daydream. Parents have changed, so have children.

The best educational achievements will always be gradual, and the best education or real education will always play a gradual role and change slowly. If you want to get quick results, it is only temporary, and this effect will soon disappear.

Change the concept of education, seriously reflect on teaching in time, and truly realize that "reading" is enlightening, "understanding" is useful, and "using" is rewarding.

3, make full use of the network, online reading, understand and master the information and trends of education and teaching. Seize opportunities such as training and lectures. Try to learn from experts, famous teachers and excellent teachers, so that their teaching methods and means will have greater development and success.

Fourth, reading arrangements:

1. Classic reading: teacher training books and 100 new suggestions for teachers.

2. Required reading every month: middle school Chinese education, Weihai education, Chinese teaching newsletter, etc.

3. Wonderful articles every Monday

Reading can change teachers' spirit, temperament and personality, make teachers constantly increase their professional wisdom, and make their teaching shine with agility and wisdom, full of creative vitality and happiness. Reading can change a teacher's life, and it can also make teachers constantly think about teaching work, life and life, so as to improve their own life level and sublimate their lives.

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