Understanding virginity is a must-read book for parents. Teacher Hu Ping wrote this book on the basis of a large number of empirical investigations. The topic of children's sex education is still very sensitive in China. This book written by Mr. Hu Ping conforms to the reality of children's development in China and is very enlightening to parents in China. Most parents, including some parents with relatively high academic qualifications, even doctors, don't know how to guide their children correctly in sex education.

I have taken many detours in this regard myself. When I was a child, I paid too much attention to my child's urine and urine, which led to constipation. He is in pain, and so am I. After my child is two years old, every time I wet the bed, my mood fluctuates greatly, and sometimes I even beat and scold him. Although I know that he is still a child, he can't control his body well and his organs are not yet mature. However, frequent bed wetting has brought me great challenges. And always staring at his shit, shit is very painful for him. If you finish reading this book as soon as possible, your children will suffer less.

Sexual activity already exists in the fetal period, and gradually improves and matures in the whole development stage of children. It's not what I thought 10 years old or older will have sexual impulses and sexual consciousness. Improper language and behavior towards children's sexual exploration will have a great negative impact on children's life. Finger sucking is one of children's sexual exploration activities, which has existed since the fetal period. Finger sucking has brought many developments to children, including the development of sexual feeling, getting rid of Oedipus complex, the development of brain-hand coordination ability, the development of independent problem-solving ability and the development of self-regulating emotional ability. Simply and rudely preventing children from eating their fingers will damage their oral development and prolong their desire to suck.

I wanted my children to sleep in separate rooms with us a long time ago, but it has never been implemented. I always feel that the child is always with us and let him be separated from us. I feel sorry for him in my heart and can't bear to part with it. In fact, after reading this book and communicating with my children, I soon realized that I would sleep in separate beds. He is not used to it. The child's adaptability is actually really good, beyond the parents' cognition. Sleeping with children will actually affect the life and feelings of husband and wife, and it is not good for the personal development of children. Therefore, when you reach a certain age, you should try to sleep in separate beds with your children as soon as possible. This book puts forward some precautions about room allocation, including that each child needs a separate room, and the children should be divided into rooms according to the steps. Don't share the same room with opposite sex companions, children should not sleep with their mothers for a long time, and the time of room allocation should not be placed when children are just in primary school. Help children overcome the fear of sleeping with them and resolutely sleep in separate rooms with adolescent children, which will not restore their sense of security.

This book really refreshed my understanding of children's defecation. The improvement of human defecation control system is before the age of 6, and children's ability to control defecation is also repeated. The formation of human defecation control system is divided into four stages. 1 The stage is when the baby is just born. At this time, the baby can't control the urine independently, and needs diapers to get through this stage. The second stage is when the child is one and a half to two years old, and the child's language ability can develop to express his own needs. They will tell the nurse to urinate, and then the nurse will take it to the bathroom. Parents will see that children can control their own urine and urine. 1, the third stage is one and a half to three years old. After the child enters the anal desire period, he will hold back the urine until he can't hold back the urine in his pants. When the tipping point lets the child know how he feels, he will pee his pants. In the fourth stage, children will constantly adjust their urine control system to find the feeling before urination is about to collapse. This feeling is to leave enough time for yourself to go to the bathroom to find a vacancy and then relieve myself. The maturity of this feeling makes children clearly know when they must go to the bathroom to defecate after urinating. This skill will benefit us for life. Usually, children can complete the fourth stage of development before the age of 6. Frequent urination will bring harm to children, including the lag of sphincter development function, the difficulty for children to construct their own defecation reflex, and the destruction of their personality. If the child's defecation reflex has been damaged, then parents should help the child complete the repair. There are several principles in the repair process. First of all, give your child time to rebuild defecation and control his own system. Second, relax their mentality and help children rebuild their defecation reflex system. Third, unconditionally accept the child's repair behavior. Fourth, parents need to reflect on their parenting style.

Children's ability to control urination at night is later than during the day 1~2 years, and most children can complete it before the age of 6. Therefore, children who have been able to control urination during the day will still wet the bed at night. In addition, children who are often reminded to urinate may wet the bed for a longer time at night due to the development of their own defecation control system. I am really sad to see this paragraph. I reacted strongly to the child's bed wetting incident, which brought great pressure to the child and caused him to wet the bed for a long time at night. If I can relax about this, the frequency and duration of the child's bed wetting will not be so long.

Anal desire period is just a general term for this period. Both anal sphincter and urethral sphincter are developing and perfecting, which is higher than their development of contraction and release skills for children, anal sphincter and urethral sphincter, and also higher than their sexual sensory function. Most of them have completed the development of these two items in the same process. The manifestations of anorectal children include defecation in pants, change of defecation rhythm, urination in pants, change of urination rhythm, study of defecation and sexual pleasure during defecation. For a while, my son would hold his stool and pull it in his pants. My husband and I are particularly disgusted and angry. Every time this happens, we will kill him and punish him. We didn't know it was part of his physiological development. The book puts forward several principles and methods to help children get through the anorectal period smoothly. First, understand the development law of children's defecation control system. Second, accept and respect the child's performance in anorectal period. Third, don't interrupt the child's ongoing urination or defecation. Fourth, don't stop your child's sexual experience in the anorectal period. Fifth, don't treat the change of children's defecation rhythm as constipation. Sixth, calmly deal with children wetting their pants. Don't humiliate, scold, threaten or beat children, but pay enough attention to them. Ninth, parents should actively communicate with their children and teachers. Tenth, don't disturb their research on excreta.