In fact, from the first time I looked in the mirror, I knew who the most handsome person in the world was, but as the saying goes, "handsome to the point of being on the shore." People who are handsome to my level are usually very low-key, so I have always been reluctant to admit the fact that I am handsome. But something happened later, which made me painfully admit the fact that I didn't want to admit. Because one day, I was surrounded by a girl and said I was handsome, but I didn't admit it, so they hit me and called me hypocritical.
Besides, I am not only handsome, but also has a glorious past. Back in those days, I punched Nanshan nursing home and kicked Beihai kindergarten, and all the streets were paved below one meter. In the morgue, I shouted "Stand up if you dare", and no one dared to speak.
Although my comprehensive conditions are quite high, I have no great ambitions. When I was very young, I just fantasized that I was a gentleman of the landlord's family, and there were thousands of hectares of fertile land at home. I am confused all day, and it has nothing to do with leading dog slaves to flirt with good girls on the streets.
In my memory, I was beaten and touched by my father once. It's a sunny noon. After lunch, my father asked
What is my pursuit in life? I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I learned a lesson from this painful experience, burying my face in answering my career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.
After primary school, I saw a beautiful girl named Xiao Juan in my class. At that time, I really wanted to hug her and sit in front of the statue of the chairman to have a revolutionary love. It's a pity that I'm too familiar to do it. A month later, he became the girlfriend of a male classmate in the next class. That male classmate warned me that if I tried Xiao Juan again, he would let me die rhythmically. Between love and life, I wisely chose the latter. However, the pain of lovelorn is beyond words. Throughout the semester, I have been learning a poem: "Xiao He has just exposed his sharp corner, and a dragonfly has long stood on it."
This failure made me understand: "when you have a conflict with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons;" When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back. "
Xiao Juan, I hid in the crowd, trying to peek at your smiling face. I seem to have drifted back to the past. Will one day we meet by chance again, fall in love at first sight and then fall in love?
For the first time, the sadness in my heart can only be described in poetry: "I can ask you how sad you are, just like a eunuch going to a brothel."
When I graduated from primary school, I fell in love with Xiao Min, a new girl in my class, at first sight. So I handed her a little note with uneasy feelings and asked her to meet in the small bamboo forest behind the classroom after school.
When Xiao Min arrived as scheduled, the first sentence said to me: "You are so handsome, I love you to death." I shook my head smartly and said modestly, "Not handsome, but long."
After several meetings, I thought Xiao Min was too slutty and not my ideal girl type, so I dumped her. She asked me tearfully, "Didn't you say you love me forever?" I told her, "Forgetting time is forever." Alas, I don't want to be so cruel to her, but I fell in love at first sight, then declined and finally got tired. Looking back now, Xiao Min is a true and frank girl, which is worth cherishing all my life. I regret my irrational behavior. I shouldn't hold your hand, but let go.
When I was in junior high school, I read a romance novel and learned what love is. Only then did I find that Xiao Juan and Xiao Min in front of me are not the people I really should love, but the people I should love are Xiaohong at my deskmate, because the book says to cherish the present. Unfortunately, I didn't read this book a few years ago. The saddest thing in the world is that you stand in front of me. I don't know that I love you. Xiaohong, let's meet again in the next life. In the next life, you are a woman picking tea in Jiangnan, and I am a woodcutter.
I missed my first deskmate and couldn't miss it again, so I launched a fierce love offensive against Xiaoli, my deskmate in junior high school. When I went to physical education class, I quietly called her aside and said to her affectionately, "Weak water is 3 thousand, I only fuck you." Xiaoli rolled her eyes at me and ran away. I realized that I had slipped my tongue in my haste, and ran after her and explained, "I just took a spoonful from you." But she never talked to me again, and in this way, I lost Xiaoli. Xiao Li, Xiao Li, why don't you listen to me? Why do you roll your eyes when the night gives you black eyes?
The fourth woman in my life met at a party in Grade Three. Her name is Xiao Fang. The first time I saw Xiao Fang, she exuded the unique classical temperament of women in the water towns in the south of the Yangtze River, as if an angel had come to earth, which surprised me at this moment. I made up my mind to catch up with Xiao Fang.
But there is always a cruel gap between reality and ideal. Although I gave everything to Xiao Fang, Xiao Fang turned me down. The reason is that she doesn't want to find a handsome boy as a boyfriend, which will make her feel insecure. In this way, I lost Xiao Fang. I think if being handsome is also a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. Xiao Fang thinks Shuai is guilty, so I put down the heinous crime in front of Xiao Fang. What qualifications does a person who has committed a heinous crime have to love? So it is wise for me to leave Xiao Fang.
Xiao Fang, I left you the whole place of my world, but you gave it to the lonely, the old and the sick.
Xiao Fang, if it really exists forever, let me love you every day forever; If it never existed, let time stay at the moment when I fell in love with you.
Xiao Fang, if I were your tears, then I don't want you to wipe them off, because I want to wipe your cheeks and kiss your mouth. If you are my tear, then I won't let it stay, because I don't want to lose you.
The fifth girl I fell in love with was a fat girl. Her name is Wei. It was a sunny afternoon when I graduated from grade three. Then we naturally started a crazy love affair.
Wei often asks me to sing the song "Wei" for her. I usually dare not sing it to her. Even if I want to sing, I still tremble while singing, because with her weight, I really want to take her to heaven. I'm afraid I'll be at a loss To this end, Wei is clamoring to lose weight every day. I told her, "I like fat ladies. When I got married, I was a few kilograms heavier than my daughter-in-law next door. My mother is so happy. " Wei will look extremely happy at this time.
Although wei ren was fine, we broke up for some inevitable reasons, and I was in pain. I see, in this world, there is love besides teeth.
I never knew why I liked a fat girl like Wei. Later, I learned that it was influenced by my mother. That summer, my mother bought a few piglets. The fatter they are, the more valuable they are.
In a blink of an eye, I ushered in a brand-new high school life, and I intend to start first. God is good to me. On the first day of registration, I let a girl as beautiful as flowers hit my waist on a bicycle. The girl's name is youth.
I often bicker with my youth, but she is generally inferior to me because of her long hair. Whenever I say that she can't compete with her, I use her long hair as a shield, which is also an important reason why I like girls with long hair later.
Youth spent two whole weeks with me, and I was really happy with her, but in the end, I broke up voluntarily. Because she and I are not in the same school, and their school is completely closed, we can't leave school except on weekends. So usually when dating, she comes out to see me through the fence, but I don't like girls who are having an affair, so I broke up with her.
After hearing this, the young man hid his face and fled. I understand that this love is just that I was hit by youth.
Shortly after I broke up with my youth, Xiaohua came into my life and she took the initiative to pursue me. During that painful time, her meticulous care touched me and made me fall in love with her. But it didn't last long. In less than a month, she moved on and fell in love with another boy in the same grade, and the relationship with that boy was as fast as lightning.
After the pain, I finally understand that touching is not love, and sympathy is not love.
Xiaohua, I just want to say one thing to you: "Some people put you at ease, others put you on the bed."
I haven't met a girl I like for months after I left Xiaohua. Finally, one day in my sophomore year, when I passed the basketball court after lunch, an elegant posture on the court suddenly caught my eye. Her name is Xiaoyun. She is a member of the school basketball team. Looks like Chris Lee, half a head taller than me. Soon Xiaoyun and I became close, but because of her height, Xiaoyun abandoned me mercilessly after three months, because she was pursuing higher, more handsome and richer.
At that time, I was obsessed with Xiaoyun's world, thinking that I would never fall in love with other girls except Xiaoyun. At that time, I repeated a sentence in my heart: "Xiao Yun, you put on the wedding dress of love, and I also put on the monk's cassock."
Today, many years later, looking back at this failed relationship, I find that I have always liked Xiaoyun's broad mind. In fact, it's just an airport.
After the relationship with Xiaoyun ended, I lived a lonely life and didn't fall in love again in high school.
When I was in college, I lived in my aunt's house, so I met an important person in my life-my cousin.
My cousin is my aunt's eldest son. He is five years older than me. He hasn't been to school since he graduated from junior high school and has been muddling along. But this man who hasn't read many books has taught me a lot that books can't.
I will always remember the first sentence he said to me: "I didn't go to college, but I did."
In the following days, he taught me to establish a correct outlook on life: a gentleman can't live forever, but he will stink for thousands of years.
Correct outlook on life: romantic but not X L.
Correct concept of virgins: there are fewer virgins than directors.
Correct outlook on life: don't ask if you don't understand, but pretend if you don't understand.
The correct investment concept: two dollars in the bag and five million in the heart.
The correct concept of shopping: the customer is not God, but cheated.
The correct concept of hooligans: hooligans are not terrible, just afraid of being educated.
Correct view of physics: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.
The correct view of women: the legal age of marriage for men is 22 years old, and the legal age of soldiers is 17 years old, which shows that women are more difficult to deal with than the enemy.
……
Special thanks to my cousin, who not only educated me, but also educated me. Let me take fewer detours in the days to come.
Influenced by my cousin, I have completely changed.
I know that I should be good at making girlfriends, so the whole university only made one girlfriend. Her name is Xiaomei.
We have been in love for four years in college, but we still have problems soon after graduation.
Accompanying Xiaomei to the talent field, Xiaomei voted several times. When people saw her proud figure, they stopped looking at her major and education and rushed to hire her. So Xiaomei found a job easily.
From Xiaomei's job search, I remembered a sentence my cousin said: Peking University is not as good as Boda.
A woman like Xiaomei is naturally not something I can keep. She soon climbed up with a rich man and abandoned me. When she left, she said to me, "Rich people have no talent, and talented people have no money. You have found the unity of the two, neither money nor talent."
This summer, I was lovelorn and unemployed, and I felt very hungry walking in the street. Summer is not good. When you are poor, you don't even have to drink the northwest wind.
I consoled myself in my mind. Anyway, I have pursued happiness, at least I have seen the back of happiness. But what is happiness? Happiness is like the rain in Mao Mao. Unfortunately, you don't have an umbrella.
I have always been a humorous person, but I can't be humorous anymore. Occasionally, living silently will feel great, and living silently will feel miserable.
Xiaomei, if one day, you can come to my heart, you will definitely leave tears, because it is full of your sadness; If one day, I can go to your heart, I will definitely leave tears, because they are all yours. . . . .
Anyway, if you want me to be handsome, I can't help being handsome! ~ ~ ~ The task of overtaking the United States and Britain is very arduous. I want to contribute my handsomeness to the four modernizations of the motherland and the peace and progress of Chongqing!