Generally speaking, good purpose and good means can bring good results, but if it is for good purpose and result, it doesn't matter whether the means are right or not. This is the legendary badness.
In this incident, parents' purpose is undoubtedly correct-hoping that five-year-old children can go to school; The result is also effective-children are willing to go to school; The only means (comparing the sense of superiority in school by letting children experience the hardships of picking up garbage), although it does not involve moral issues, is inappropriate, undesirable and has no universal value.
Let's talk about the problem of doing this first.
The results of children's schooling have been achieved, and it is normal for everyone to take some strong drugs on the road. This is like "fighting poison with poison" to choose its effect, and the effect of poison becomes a good result, which is also a way of treating diseases. This is why most people accept it. However, this thinking mode that only looks at superficial effects and ignores risks and individual differences will deceive people.
0 1 may not all work.
Sometimes this occasional stimulus doesn't last long. Children's weariness of learning and the reasons are still there, and parents' educational mistakes are still there. If these are not solved, coercion will not work.
My friend's relatives, that is, the mother who forwarded the article, just don't want to go to school. My mother thinks this method of online publicity is good, so she follows this practice and forces her children. You can say you don't have to go to school, but you have to earn your own living expenses. If you don't go to school, I can't support you for nothing. Do housework to earn money to support yourself.
Later, I heard from a friend that it took two days to get better. At first, children were unwilling to do housework. Later, children were unwilling to go to school or do housework to make money. Mother thought that it might be easy for the child to wrangle at home, but it was not easy to operate, so she simply pushed the child out and let him go to the barber shop as an apprentice. As a result, the child went for two days and did not go again.
My mother is very helpless at present. Even if my parents beat and scold, it doesn't work now. The relationship between children and parents is particularly tense. The escalating coercive measures, as my mother knows, are nothing more than drinking poison to quench thirst.
Children can't find a sense of self-worth.
I also heard that some parents are very successful through similar means. Some parents send their children back to their hometown and let them do farm work with their grandparents. Adults collude with each other to make children suffer, saying that they can only go to school like this. The child chose to go to school. Although the results are not bad, I have no energy at all and feel very confused.
Because this choice is passive and permeated with a sense of inevitability. A child has nowhere to run in this higher pressure environment. Even if he studies well, he has no initiative and sense of value for self-growth. Isn't our education to let children experience their own strength and make themselves better? Is this a success? Are there still few high-scoring scholars and hollow people who lack spirituality in our society?
The attribution of errors ignores other more important factors.
Some parents really showed good results in this way, and their children chose to go to school and were very angry. But this good result, parents' hardship plan is not the main reason for success.
My divorced father, the boss of a company, is very, very busy. He usually has no time to accompany his children, and he is only willing to spend pocket money to send them away. Children feel that there is no love in life and don't want to go to school. He plays games every day and recharges a lot of money. Dad felt helpless, so he made up his mind to take a long vacation and experience life in the mountains with his children.
In this more than a month, my father took his children to eat and live in his hometown and helped the villagers do farm work. Although the food is not good and life is particularly hard, the father and son get along with each other and take care of each other, and their feelings are getting more and more harmonious. The child's mood is getting better and better, and he is happy every day. At the end of dad's holiday, when he was going to take his child home, the child suddenly said, Dad, you go to work and I go to school, but you have to accompany me for an hour every day.
When parents are willing to make some concerns and actions for their children's depravity, even if the methods are not appropriate, the children are willing to change. Because some children, his value to learning itself is clear, but what he lacks is the attention and love of his parents. He didn't behave well in school just to get the love of his parents.
The boss's father doesn't really understand this child. He said that maybe it was too bitter there, but the children still felt that school was the best way out. Is it really because the hard environment has changed the children? No, the children want to change themselves! They know their own direction, and they also know that what they need is not suffering, but the love and companionship of their parents.
Parents who preach suffering and regard it as a good way to save their children overestimate the role of suffering and underestimate their IQ and self-improvement ability. Suffering is sometimes a catalyst at best, but it is by no means the main function. The core of success in these areas is not suffering, but love. Parents often ignore the power of love, which is attributed to the catalysis of the environment.