Sex education: how parents talk about sex with their children
"I said," yes. "The son continued," I like being a boy. Do you like being a woman? " I said, "Of course I like being a woman! "My son Sam is lucky. He witnessed the whole process of my daughter's pregnancy, watched his mother's belly get bigger every day, followed me to the hospital and heard my sister's fetal heart beating. When he got home, he excitedly said to everyone, "I heard my sister's heartbeat!" "Sometimes he will follow me through the pictures in pregnancy books to see how the baby grew up in his mother's stomach. At that time, Sam, who was only over two years old, already knew that he had grown up like this: a small seed in his mother's stomach grew to nine months, and his mother's stomach could not hold it, so the doctor cut open his mother's stomach and carried him out. ..... appropriately stimulate the children because both my children are caesarean sections. Facing Sam's initial curiosity, I took a shortcut-telling Sam that he and his sister were taken out of his mother's stomach. When taking a bath together, he saw my knife edge and asked me affectionately many times, "Does it hurt?" "Can I touch it?" "How long is your knife? Do you feel it? " Then he hugged me sweetly, as if realizing that his mother must love him very much. However, my mind is fully prepared. Finally, one day when he was more than four years old, he had the first such conversation-at that time, we were ready to take a shower, took off our clothes, and I sat down to pee. Sam had observed it many times before and knew that he and his father urinated standing while his mother was sitting. Today, he asked me: … how to talk about sex with children? "How did you pee from your ass?" I told him, "Because I have no penis." "Why?" "Because I am a woman. Men have penises and women don't. " "I hope you have a penis, too." "Then I am not a woman and can't have children." "Why?" "Because children are generally born from the birth canal of these women." "But I came out of your stomach." "Yes, that's because the doctor thinks that mother's own life is too dangerous and needs their help. But generally speaking, you should be born between my legs. " "Get out of your ass?" "No. But there is another secret passage, not where we shit and pee. " "Is there an opening in the middle?" "Yes, the middle hole." I was surprised at the time. How did he know the exact location of this passage at once? On second thought, it makes sense. Sam, who has always had a strong logical thinking ability, actually inferred from his body structure: the opening for urinating is in the front and the opening for defecating is in the back, so the third opening mentioned by his mother must be in the middle! Sam thought while taking a bath and asked me a more challenging question: "What about when I was a little seed?" ? Did the doctor cut open your stomach and put me in? ""No, my father put it in through a secret passage in my body. " "The one in the middle? Then I grew so big, and then they took me out! " "yes! ""Does it hurt when I cut you? "Sam asked me for the nth time." No pain. "I answered for the nth time." Because they drugged you! "He announced authoritatively. The conversation is over. The reason why I took the trouble to record this conversation is because there is no uniform standard answer to this question. Every parent needs to respond according to their own beliefs, concepts, cultural background, family environment, and attitudes towards gender, sex education, sex culture and sex awareness. And communicate with his children in the way he thinks fit. ..... The sexual health education that I began to adopt at the age of 6 is the attitude recommended by American experts in pediatrics and preschool education: calmly and naturally give children the truest and most direct answers. No matter how young a child is, as long as he can ask questions, he can accept direct answers suitable for his age. Generally speaking, children can't really control their own urine until they are about two and a half years old. With the leap of this ability and the loosening of the body (from diapers), they will have the initial gender consciousness-I am a boy or a girl; Father is a man and mother is a woman; Uncle is a man, aunt is a woman, and so on. This kind of gender awareness was formed around the age of three, which also brought them further curiosity: what do others look like? Can I take off their clothes and have a look? Where was the baby born? If my mother gave birth to me, what is my father's role? I'm a boy. I pee with my penis. My mother is a girl and has no penis. How do I pee? Can girls grow penises? This curiosity is normal and easy to satisfy. Children are only interested in what they can digest and understand, and too much complicated information will make children impatient. Take Sam for example. At first, he just needed to distinguish between men and women and insisted on going to the men's room only. At the age of three, he likes to wonder who gave birth to whom-"My mother gave birth to my sister and me, who gave birth to my mother? Why is dad's mother not mom's mother? "Wait, we should understand the order and relationship between relatives. He has got enough information about the above conversation, so he will not pursue it, and I don't need to provide more details. At this age, he is not interested in sex, but wants to know how the baby is made. But I'm ready. When he is older, he needs to know more things. Once he asks questions, I will provide a clear answer. In fact, the most important thing is not what children ask and do, but the attitude of parents, which directly affects children's gender awareness, self-evaluation, attitude towards sex and fertility, and also affects their future spouse selection, love, marriage, fertility and happiness. I suggest parents think about these questions first:-Do I feel natural and satisfied with my body? Do I feel beautiful and sexy? -Can I speak frankly about names related to the reproductive system? Such as penis, testis, sperm, vagina, ovary, uterus, breast and so on. -Am I proud of my gender? -Do I like sex? Is my sex life harmonious with my spouse? Does my spouse appreciate my body? Can you praise each other's beauty and sexiness in front of children? Can we hug and kiss openly and affectionately in front of the children? -What do I think about sex? Do I think sex is something I am ashamed to say and keep a secret? Or dirty, evil, obscene and obscene? Do I have a strong reaction when others or children bring up topics related to gender and reproduction?