Almost all excellent children are branded by their parents. All problem children can also find family reasons. It is wrong to blame the school for the problem, and it is also wrong to attribute the achievements and credit to the school. The role of family is far more important than that of school.
Family education is the foundation and key of our whole education chain.
Big Data Analysis: Ten Problems in Family Education
The Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences has conducted a survey of 40,000 parents and children across the country. The survey was conducted in four provinces of China, and the final results were published and serialized in China Education News. There are about ten main conclusions:
What do China's parents care most about their children?
Most parents in China care about success rather than adulthood. They care about the present. However, several key issues that really determine children's future have not received enough attention, such as hobbies. In fact, people's hobbies are a very important aspect of their understanding of this society. Only paying attention to academic performance is not conducive to the cultivation of children's curiosity and interest. In fact, children's emotions, interpersonal skills, self-management ability, personality and personality characteristics are much more important than these issues that parents are most concerned about.
Is preschool important for children?
The results of this survey show that among the children with poor academic performance, there are more children who have attended preschool than those who have never attended preschool 10.89%. This result subverts many people's past ideas. Many of our parents want their children not to lose at the starting line, but to win at the starting line, so they should learn earlier and learn more than others. In fact, children need childhood, children need games, they need fun, and they need to find out for themselves. He won't be interested in what you force him to learn. Let the child have a rebellious attitude towards learning too early, and let him be afraid of learning before entering school.
What is the significance and function of choosing a school?
Everyone needs to choose a school, and many parents want to send their children to the best school. Big data analysis found that there was no difference between the best students who chose a school and the best students who didn't choose a school, accounting for 29.95% and 28.48% respectively. Of course, this does not mean that choosing a good school is meaningless to the development of students. Frankly speaking, because schools are literate, children between schools interact with each other. Children have a greater influence on each other than school. The key is why some schools are not effective. For those children with relatively weak foundation, they may have a sense of security and self-confidence in other schools. Going to the best school will make him feel hopeless in front of so many schoolmasters and his academic performance will drop.
Can students attend extracurricular classes to effectively improve their grades?
About 90% of children in China attend extracurricular classes. After attending extracurricular classes, children's time and space are occupied, and the possibility of autonomous learning is not enough. In this way, learning ability will shrink and development will be greatly limited. In addition, extracurricular classes are a continuation of school life, and students do not have an opportunity to broaden their horizons in textbooks and classrooms. A child can't develop well without a lot of extra-curricular reading time.
Can material stimulation stimulate children's enthusiasm for learning?
Many families use bonuses and various temptations to encourage their children to study. The survey found that the results were not as big as we thought. What is more important? It is the consistency and coordination of parental education that can stimulate children's learning. For example, when parents disagree on education, they can communicate, share and negotiate privately, instead of quarreling in front of their children. The material stimulation is far less than the positive influence of parents on their children.
What do parents do in their spare time?
The most common finding is that parents are reading books and newspapers. Parents who read books and newspapers by themselves have the highest proportion of excellent grades, accounting for 365,438+0.365,438+0%, followed by parents who still watch TV, play computer and watch mobile phones. The proportion of their children's excellent grades is much less, accounting for 27.43%, and only 24.5% of parents especially like friends' parties. I believe that the gap between these data is still a little bigger in real life. Personally, the gap is not as big as I thought.
How much influence does the child's self-management ability have on learning?
In order to let the child concentrate on his studies, many parents have prepared everything for him and refused to let him do all the work. Results Only 3. 17% children think that they can do housework or not as long as they study hard. Excellent children who think they should do housework and manage their own affairs account for 86.92%. The ability to let a child manage his own affairs will eventually help him manage his own study. Learning is a process of self-management, and this conclusion is very important for many parents.
What role does the father play in the child's growth?
In many families in China, the father is invisible, the so-called "shadow father". The real role of father in family education is far from being brought into play. This survey found that in 90% of families in China, fathers did not undertake the responsibility of education. Most of the family education for children is undertaken by mothers. We know that the lack of father education has obvious restrictions on children's personality development, especially for children. Gender identity will be weakened, easily overprotected and overprotected by mothers, lacking opportunities for independent exercise and lacking masculinity. Therefore, the absence of the role of father in family education will lead to all kinds of bad behaviors.
Do China's parents know their children?
Through the survey of parents, it is found that parents first know how many good friends their children have, and then they know which teacher and class their children like. Parents don't go into their children's hearts, don't know what their children want, don't know what their children don't want to tell their parents, and who they worship? It shows that our parents don't understand their children's needs and their inner reality.
Is there a relationship between children's academic performance and parents' parenting style?
Parents adopt positive parenting styles, and their children's academic performance is relatively high. Parents' parenting style is relatively negative, and their children's academic performance is relatively poor. It shows that children's academic performance is closely related to their parents' parenting style.
Three key words of family education
accompany
Children come to the family and become a community with you. This is the fate of life. How can we cherish the time with children? In fact, we know that it is difficult for you to be with your child when he really leaves you. So the real time together is very limited, and being together is education in itself. I think this is crucial. Why?
Because you eat together, talk together, communicate together, and communicate and study all the time, there is a very interesting study in western psychology. They found that the vocabulary of children is directly and positively correlated with that of parents who communicate at home, especially at the dinner table.
You are talking about politics, and this child may be interested in politics in the future; If you are complaining, the child may be full of complaints. Everything that happens in your family will have a direct impact on your children. Why should there be sufficient communication between parents and children? Many of our parents think it is meaningless not to talk to their children. In fact, everything you say, even if he doesn't understand it today, will become an important part of his brain structure.
More importantly, companionship and living together will determine whether the whole family has a common destiny. We put forward a proposition: read, write and live together. The keynote is companionship, and the influence of companionship on children is very important.
read
The seeds of reading are planted in the family. There is a poem in the reading manual, "you may have unlimited wealth, boxes of jewelry and cabinets of gold." But you will never be richer than me. I have a mother who reads to me. " Reading is an important source for children to have a rich spiritual life. The cultivation of reading ability, reading interest and reading habits begins at home.
After reading these books, children began to like reading. Why is it important for children to read early? I always think that those children's books are really different from those read by adults. Children's books will hide the best things of human beings and establish your values through the fate of people and animals.
habit
Habits, to a large extent, education is to cultivate habits. Mr. Ye Shengtao said that education is to cultivate habits, and it is right to think about it. To measure the success of education is to measure whether he has developed good habits. How does he treat people? Sports is not how high you jump, how fast you run and how well you play. In fact, the most important thing in exercise is to see if you have developed good fitness habits. If you exercise well, eat, drink and don't exercise, and your health is poor, it's not called sports success.
Psychological research points out that a good habit needs 2 1 day of continuous training. I think it is very necessary for us to help students develop good behavior habits for a habit, whether it is exercise or reading. For example, going to bed early and getting up early is a habit. For a child, a good habit can affect his life. In family education, it is good to do these three things well.