Changing oneself is God, and changing others is mental derangement.

1. You are unhappy because you always want to change others.

Psychological "projection effect"

People always tend to think that other people's thinking and habits should be consistent with their own. If they are different, they want to transform others.

People's three views and cognition are formed over time. It is not easy to change yourself, let alone others.

We often use the idea of "for your own good" to correct the people around us, which is not only futile, but also makes us fall into disappointment and pain:

Children always procrastinate, and you patiently correct me. As a result, ta is struggling instead of improving herself.

Your partner is addicted to staying up late. You kindly urged her. As a result, her husband is not only unrepentant, but also complains about your interference.

Parents like eating leftovers. No matter how to persuade them, they always turn a deaf ear and scold you for being frugal.

I agree with one sentence: we just emit our own light and don't force others to light it.

2. Turn yourself into a god and turn others into mental derangements.

In life, we will always meet people with different thoughts and ideas:

Maybe it's a family member with bad hobbies, maybe a friend with different views, maybe a work partner with completely different personality and style! It seems simple to change others, but it is actually very difficult;

It seems painful to change yourself, but it is actually easier.

Try to change others, it is better to try to adjust your mentality first.

When we change ourselves, our thinking, logic and habits will also change, and people will get along very differently.

Change often happens when we least expect it.

3. Adults only screen, not educate.

In life, we will inevitably meet people with different views and different magnetic fields. Instead of trying to change, it is better to establish your own set of screening rules. Not everyone lives in the same sea, and different ways do not seek common cause.

Someone once asked, "How did you cultivate these outstanding talents?"

A: People are made by the past environment and experience. We just choose the right people from the crowd, not cultivate the unsuitable people.

You strive for perfection in your work, but others are perfunctory. You like making friends, but others don't care. Like-minded, is accidental; It is normal to have different views.

We should learn to restrain our desire to transform others and not to stretch our hands too long in others' lives.