1
Love is something that everyone has to experience. Love, also because of birth or identity, determines whether she can get married or stay together for life. At my age, if I was born in the countryside, I would have been an overage youth, but I was rejected by the matchmaker. The villagers said I had a problem. It is more difficult for me to find a partner in the countryside than to ascend to heaven. The poorer and more remote the countryside, the earlier the girls get married or go out. Once they go out and have a look at the outside world, even if it is small for others, they are unwilling to go back to their hometown. There are more and more elderly men in rural areas, which leads to the decrease of fertility rate and the imbalance of population structure. Rural marriage is an important social problem in 2 1 century. On the other hand, I have neglected this disastrous social problem. After that, I was single, but I have been married in my life.
When my family saw that I was old, they asked people everywhere to find me a partner. Later, I found a daughter who is said to be my father's friend. She stopped at a bus stop in a hotel. Father's friend wants his daughter to find a local man, not to talk to outsiders. Under the pressure of my family, I found a girl to meet. Gao Zi is as tall as me, and his facial features are still very correct. Also talked about my situation and current situation. She didn't say much, except that she would think about it and call me back. But she didn't answer my words later, but soon married the foreigner she talked about. I later learned that she defined herself as love, as long as she had a house in the city.
In Shengbao, I live in a hotel on Huang Xi North Road, and the publisher comes to pick up the newspaper from me every day. Among these publishers, there are several girls, but they are all very young, and I don't want to speak for myself. Interestingly, these publishers are very happy every day. After they published the newspaper, they went back to the hotel to sing and dance. I also found that several people in the city are thinking about their parents looking for jobs for them. There is a girl named Ren who often reads some professional books. I also found that she is simple and studious among all the girls. I didn't. She has no charm as a city girl. Later, I learned that her family came from the countryside and her father was a worker in a dry cotton factory. There are four children in her family. She is the second child. It was my father who brought their brother and sister to this city. I want to get a good education in the city, but my father was fired and life is very difficult. In junior high school, she was the top two in her class. Faced with the pressure of life, her father told her not to go to high school again and work to support her family. She told me that she would give part of the money she earned from part-time jobs to her family and part of it to study for herself. When others are playing, I will play symbolically and read books.
I began to pay attention to this girl and encouraged her to study hard. I don't know if this is love or friendship. For Ren, I am the only one who supports her study. There is a boy chasing after Ren. He won't let her study. Ren Shuyun told me that the boy didn't like him because he was afraid of his future.
On a drunken afternoon, Ren and I were the only two people in the house. She poured me water, helped me rest in bed and tucked me in. Everything about her makes me feel warm. I've been wandering outside for so many years, and no girl has ever done this to me. From that day on, my feelings for her changed and became clear. I want to chase her. I have no hope of success in this self-proclaimed love, but only ask myself to pay sincerely and keep myself. She also told me that when she was with me, she was always happy and inspiring. We go in and out together and often eat in small restaurants. At the Huang Xi Hotel, we fell in love. But there is a problem that must be solved in advance, and that is to let his ex-boyfriend become a thing of the past.
After talking for less than a year, I was also very careful and didn't pursue her enthusiastically. On the surface, I only support her to study hard and talk to someone early. It is better to learn knowledge at such a good age. Because she has a hard choice between me and my ex-boyfriend. Her ex-boyfriend saw that I was in charge, and his demands and pursuits for her were even more intense, and he couldn't wait to get married at once. At her age, it was ok to talk about someone, but she didn't get married. I have no passionate pursuit, which makes her feel relaxed with me.
2
Due to the change of work, I left Maiji District and Huangxi Hotel. Feelings will also vary from place to place. If not, my feelings for Ren are not very simple. From being a friend to being a lover, I just want to be a lover! Ren said that it is ok to be friends without an object! I said yes. But I thought to myself, no, because friendship sublimates into love, and then it's ridiculous to return the sublimated things. It's all personal feelings Let's talk about friendship later, unless a saint or a fool can do it. My everyman, there is only one sentence, love and hate are only one step away, if you don't love, you will hate. If I don't have a stable group of friends at my age, it means that I am a failure. At a certain age, the opposite sex you want to contact is for the object.
I didn't say goodbye or that I would go after her again, but my encouragement to her hasn't changed. I have experienced the failure of love, and I have lost my dignity. Therefore, my attitude is more stable now than before. Love, take your time. I often send short messages to Ren, asking her to finish all the courses in high school and take the junior college exam by herself. Encouraged by me, she often calls me. After the Spring Festival in 2002, she never called me again. I paged her, but she didn't answer. I also gradually began to forget that this kind of love without buds will also decline. One day, I went back to the house I rented, and I was shocked when the door was pushed. Who will clean, fold the quilt, wash the pot, sweep the floor and wipe the soil on the computer? In a word, the house is clean and bright. I didn't expect this house to be so clean as soon as it was cleaned up. The landlord told me that a woman cleaned you up and left when she saw that you were not here. I don't think any woman cares about my life except my sister. I thought it might be Ren Shu Yun, but I thought it was impossible.
On Sunday, I was taking a nap when I heard a familiar footstep coming to my house. Someone knocked at the door, but I didn't answer. The door was knocked twice again, but I still didn't answer. In less than a minute, the footsteps left again. I got up quickly. When the door opened, I saw Ren leave.
Xiao Ren, I stopped her.
At my home, we sat for a long time, and she told me that she was helpless. For feelings, she feels that talking to me seems far away. I know. She came to break up with me. I didn't force her again. As usual, I invited her to a small restaurant for dinner, which was the last dinner. Ren said, "I didn't expect you to be cheerful. If only Xiao Wu were like you. I broke up with him, and he said he would die to show me. I thought you would be like Xiao Wu, but you still see love very cheerful!
The afterglow of the evening covered the river, and the flowers by the river were blooming brightly. The evening breeze blows the fragrance of rape flowers ashore, making pedestrians feel the dedication of the flowers. Ren and I walked about five stops, and it was a moral for me and me to send him to the bridge. The boyfriend she talked about, like me, comes from the countryside, but not as simple as the rural people. With little education, it is simple to consider the problem. In the city, he has no pursuit and no ideal. Ren is a person who wants to make progress. Therefore, the object they are talking about is doomed to failure.
My attitude towards Ren is very clear. Love is not sympathy. If you can't find someone to support you, your life will not be happy.
After seeing her off, my heart suddenly became empty, as if I had lost some sustenance. The moment she got on the bus, I felt tears, but I didn't let them flow. Because love can't be far-fetched, giving love free choice is the greatest maintenance of love. I set her free not because I gave up, but because I kept myself. If she can see the difference between me and her current boyfriend, she will come back. After all, I still hold her heart to let go of love.
three
With the departure of Ren, my heart is empty. People who fill the gaps in their hearts with time are the least productive. In the face of love, I really became a hopeless person.
When I am old, I am most afraid that a year is coming. On Christmas Eve, my colleagues and I also crowded in front of the Christian church to feel the momentum of western festivals in China. It's cold, but there are many people. Suddenly I have a stomachache, which is the kind of pain I have never had before. I have always been in good health and never believed that I would get seriously ill. So, I looked at it in a small clinic. Doctors can eat cold food and just prescribe some medicine. But when I returned to the dormitory, I couldn't stand the pain. Colleagues have to go to work, so I'm embarrassed to shout in the dormitory, just stay by the big tree outside the door. It's so cold that it's dripping into ice. As long as the air flows a little, it's like a knife across your body. Pain is also a sharp knife, gouging out in my left lower abdomen. It was dawn and I finally fell asleep. It's almost noon. I'm hungry. Vagrants can only feel the warmth of home and the love of their fathers when they are sick. If I were at home, I'm afraid I wouldn't hurt badly. My parents are already in a hurry.
I thought it would be fine if I took the medicine. But the condition has not improved, and the pain has become more severe. Colleagues asked the children to go to a big hospital to check if there was any problem. I don't think so. I always feel that my illness can be resisted. For many years, I have treated my illness like this. On the eighth day, for some reason, Ren came to see me. When she saw me like this, she was very ill and asked me to go to the hospital. Her arrival made me forget the pain for a while. I don't think I can fight this disease, so I have to go to the hospital. Accompanied by my friend Wang Yuguo and others, I went to the hospital for an examination: my appendix was inflamed and ulcerated, and I was already facing infection, so I had to operate immediately.
I stayed in the hospital for seven days. The unit sends two colleagues to see me every day. Ren has been guarding my bed, feeding me water and rice, and waiting on me. Many colleagues regard her as my object, otherwise there would be no such dedicated service. I didn't say no, and neither did Ren. In the hospital, Ren and I were not talking about things between objects or lovers, but about family life and our respective goals. Ren told me that she had the greatest wish. If she is rich in the future, she must pull her mother to her side. When I was very young, my father worked in other places, and my mother worried about the life of the whole family. Life is hard, but the mother's contribution to her children is enormous. Mom is sick because of hard work, too. My father was laid off and my mother had no money to see a doctor, which has been difficult to support until now. For me, I am most afraid of going home for a year. Because, my seriously ill mother said that if she could only see me bring one object home in her lifetime, she would die in the grave. But I let my mother down, worrying year after year. I said, if a woman is willing to come home with me and call me mom, I will treat her as a benefactor.
After leaving the hospital, I recuperated in the bungalow behind my unit. As the saying goes, the twelfth month is tight and the first month is slow. Ren seldom went home during his illness. Usually go home and come back the same day. For a month, my illness was also very good. She told me that she wanted to visit my house during the Spring Festival. I'm overjoyed at her decision, and I know what she means.
Maybe I didn't feel it before. Spring Festival is all about eating, drinking and having fun. The arrival of Ren not only makes the atmosphere at home lively and harmonious, but also strengthens the atmosphere of our family reunion. I have a new understanding of the Spring Festival: the joy of the Spring Festival has different manifestations in people of different ages. Children play innocently, old people look forward to their children and grandchildren, and young people do everything themselves, so that parents can have fun and children can have fun. If you live for 10 thousand years and are not married, you will often meet your folks and ask them, "Do you have a wife?" Why not take it back? " .
Ren also simply called me mom. This Spring Festival, I lived to the fullest.
four
After the Spring Festival, we returned to the city. Ren got a job, I went to work, and our love began.
One day, I asked her, why did you and your ex-boyfriend break up? She told me that Xiao Wu is not self-motivated and relies on his brother for everything. You remember me because when we broke up, you not only didn't hate me, but also cared about me and encouraged me. A friend of mine broke up with her date and said she would be disfigured. And you are always optimistic and don't like to take advantage of small things.
But I'm poor?
Suddenly, one day, Ren came to my house, and her face was ugly, with white and green. She doesn't like to talk, but loves to sigh. I asked her several times, but she swallowed what she said. She said that this was the last time she saw me, and there would be no chance in the future. I was in a hurry and insisted that she tell me why. After I asked again and again, she told me that she had been having a stomachache. A few days ago, she went to the Second People's Hospital of Tianshui for examination. As a result, a fist-sized tumor grew in the uterus. The doctor in the hospital said that the situation might be serious, so let her prepare herself psychologically. My head suddenly swelled up. Why, a young age, a person with many beautiful dreams for the future, a person who is about to start a real life, why ... she is also disappointed with the early death of life and the ruthlessness of illness, and can't understand life and death. What choice do you have in the face of death? I asked her to have another examination, but she didn't want to go. She told me that she was leaving home, far from home. She will have a quarrel with her parents before she leaves. So parents won't fuck her, or fuck her less. She will die in a place where no one knows her.
I tried my best to keep her and comfort her. Now that I think about it, those days were too hard. We hardly know how bright and dark it is. At night, when I look up, I will see that she often sits by the bed crying and sighing. Her desperate eyes pierced my empty chest like a rusty knife. At my strong suggestion, she walked into the city maternal and child health hospital in despair. The process of examination, she thinks, is redundant, and the doctor's examination seems to be very cooperative, even more uncooperative.
I waited for the result in fear and trembling, how terrible. I really want to face what I can't!
"Ren, you are a twin uterus," the doctor said after reading the checklist. I'll ask right away. Anything else? The doctor said let me see for myself. "Uterine malformation, consider double uterus." Ren and I suddenly wanted to cry, because it was not a tumor. The doctor said that among women, double uterus accounts for one in three million, and everything else is normal except affecting fertility, and it will not pose a threat to life. We asked the doctor to check it again. The doctor is a little unhappy. She said the check was accurate. What happened to your money?
After leaving the Maternal and Child Health Hospital, we went to the First People's Hospital for examination, and the result was the same: twins.
On the same day, we treated ourselves well in the restaurant.
Ren suddenly became energetic, and she also drank some white wine. She told me to go to the Second Hospital, see a doctor and give her an explanation. For nearly a month, we have experienced the gates of hell. What kind of tears and pain are more helpless than facing death? If the second hospital is mine, I can't wait to crush the doctor twenty times.
"Come on, as long as you are a good man, let the inspection go to hell. What is more important than health and life? " I said to Ren. But this kind of life and death has catalyzed, integrated and deepened our feelings. If you want to spend a year getting to know and fall in love with someone, you may still not have the courage to draw a conclusion. But after a major and life-related test, love has no obstacles.
We're officially living together.
five
In 2007, we decided to get married. After falling in love, you have to get married, start a family and live a normal life.
Before we got married, we often discussed and sometimes quarreled about childbirth. When we asked in the hospital, the doctor described it very tactfully. They said, "There are medical precedents of twin pregnancy, and there are also successful deliveries." How do we understand this sentence? She doesn't say yes or no, even if she says what is the probability of success. My attitude is also very clear. For Ren's body, childbirth is another matter. I use the words of Tianshui writer and my brother Xiao Xue. Life goes on without children. I have my own way of understanding the inheritance of burning incense. To my father, our three brothers and my sister all have sons and daughters. Father's incense is not broken. For myself, I promise I can have a son. Do I have to make sure that my son has children, too, and they are all boys, and they have to carry on the family line? The secular mentality is "children and grandchildren will live forever, and one will pass on one." I look at it with the eyes of the laws of nature. Species are renewing and the world is progressing. Everyone has a beautiful life of their own, treat life well.
Sometimes my theory works, and sometimes it doesn't. Ren agreed with this view just now, but the next day, as soon as she saw that her partner had a lovely child, she would change her attitude. Even if I die, I will have a baby. It's worth having a baby and then dying. A woman's biggest regret is that she can't have children, so she has to fight for it.
Love is actually very simple, marriage is really complicated. If you are in love and feel inappropriate, you can leave without waving your hand. Marriage is related to family, society, property, childbirth, children and life. We once broke up because of these things, but we got back together because of mutual trust. When I broke up with her, I tried to talk about another one, not having children, but having a family. She also tried to talk about another one. If she really can't have children, she can be a stepmother. However, we all failed. I have a bad conscience. Is it because of her birth and breakup that her positive outlook on life and beautiful view of the world will be depressed again and she will spend her life with secular shackles? She has also dated several times, but when communicating, she always looks at others with my thoughts. Because we live together, our thoughts on each other's behavior have been rooted in each other's hearts.
June 65438+10/October 65438+June 2007, we officially got married.
When we told Ren's parents and my family that we were going to get married, her family was so happy that my family and sister cried when they heard the news. Although we are poor enough to borrow money to get married, I want to hold a decent wedding for me and her. Give up the idea of getting a marriage certificate if you are poor. With the help of many friends, I held a 300-person wedding for her and me in Jinlong Hotel, the tallest building in downtown Tianshui. Moreover, in the local metropolis daily, I also sent a photo with her and wrote my wedding vows. For others, this is just an ordinary wedding, but for Ren and me, this is the biggest thing in the world.
That night, I cried.
Because I think of someone, that is my mother. She said that as long as she watched me bring my daughter-in-law home, she would die peacefully. The year I spoke, my mother really died. I was with my mother. Half an hour before she died, she asked me, why did you come back again? I told her that Xiao Ren was busy. If you wait for me, I'll meet her in the city. Mother nodded weakly, and I hurried out of the village to take the city bus. When I arrived in Tianshui, I called home. My brother said on the phone that my mother died.
Ren Shu Yun asked me why I was crying, and I said I was happy. Because of me, I can finally tell Jiuquan's mother that my son is married.
six
This city is so small that I don't have my own permanent residence. I feel very calm when I see that the houses in this small western city have risen unacceptably. I don't want to buy a house and become a city dweller. As far as my salary is concerned, working for one year is no different from working for ten years. With that salary, you can only wear clothes. After a year, I can't save any money. I said to my wife: earn money in the city and support the elderly in the countryside. Just the two of us, spend all the money we earn and live a chic and relaxed life. However, my wife got pregnant after seeing a doctor. This sudden good news made me a little at a loss. The two of us, it doesn't matter if we rent anywhere. But to accept a new life, my responsibility is home. The thought of renting a house gives me a headache. Do I have to rent a house all my life?
Wang Yuguo, a friend and poet, said that when you get married, you start a stable life. With children, there is responsibility and people's thinking will change. Being a father is practical. After Ren became pregnant, I suddenly had the desire and decision to live in the city. But I have no money. How can I get a loan from a city bank and own my own house? I have no mortgaged property. The People's Bank of China is more practical. People in both urban and rural areas need loans and mortgages. The salary is fine, and the property is fine. I have nothing but people. Going to many places to borrow money is in vain. I have lived in the city for so many years and have many friends, but most of them are poor friends. Rich friends, I really can't borrow money. When I told many friends that I wanted to buy a house, one of my classmates and good friends, Li Wuxia, was a teacher. 200 1 He already has a house in the city. He said he was willing to mortgage the real estate license to me and buy a house first.
I estimate that the house will cost 250,000 to 300,000, and Li Wuxia's house can get a mortgage of 654.38+10,000. I had 80 thousand dollars. With this foundation, I decided to try Tianshui Yongsheng Construction Engineering Company. I also analyzed this company. The boss is my hometown. He believes in Christianity and is a farmer who goes to the city to start a business. I have a good relationship with him. The environment is only an earthquake, and people's demand for houses is relatively on the sidelines. The earthquake has also become a favorable factor for me to buy a house. The boss of Yongsheng Construction Company is 60 years old and honest. After my explanation, he agreed to owe me the house first, with a down payment of 80 thousand. In this way, it is simple, not as terrible as people think, so I bought my own house of more than 90 square meters in the city.
I have my own house in the city, and many people don't believe it. When the news reached home, a villager told my second brother that I couldn't afford a house in the city. Let my brother see if I was lying. Because I gave money to build a house at home, this friend thought I was going to buy a house in the city and wanted the money back. Second brother is an honest man, and he really came to visit my home in the city.
A few months ago, I didn't even think about having my own house in the city. But the house came too quickly and suddenly, and I was not prepared for lovesickness, so the house became mine. I was overjoyed, and the new plan was spinning in my mind again, with 50 thousand yuan for decoration and 50 thousand yuan for having children. Be a real city resident!
It's already winter, and it's foggy when I breathe. I began to decorate my house in Tianshui home. It will take me less than two months from considering buying a house to decorating it. In the spring of 2009, with the congratulations of many friends, I moved into a new house and ended my rental life.
With a house, I can give my wife and children a stable home. Children who want to go to school in the city must have a city hukou. If you have a city hukou, you have to have a house. Otherwise, you will work all your life, live in the city all your life and be a rural person forever. Once children go to school, they have to pay a borrowing fee.
House, have you really turned me into a city dweller?