"One day, I saw my child playing with a broken cotton wool and wrapping it in the body as a carpet. At that time, there were many ideas in my mind: should I take away his broken cotton wool at once, or let him play with his experience; Tell him to throw away the cotton wool or replace it with something else? "

It is easy for ordinary people to be motivated to mend their ways, but it is not easy to be scolded to mend their ways, while children especially like to listen to good words and don't like to listen to bad words.

I know that children probably have this kind of psychology, so I use the incentive education method to educate them. I said to him, "this is dirty and smelly." I don't think you want it. You want something clean. You ran into the room and asked your mother for a clean one. " Hearing this, he ran into the room and changed into a clean blanket.

If, as soon as I see him playing with that broken cotton wool, I take it away and put it on a new one, he will be puzzled by my behavior and resentful, not only refusing my meaning, but also crying.

Even if I don't take his cotton wool and say to him, "This kind of thing is dirty and smelly, throw it away quickly." Although he knows that this kind of thing is dirty and should not be played, I'm afraid he won't give up because there is no good substitute.

I know that the first method above is absolutely unacceptable, and the second method is not good either. So I use words to motivate him, make it based on automatic state, and make him happy to do it.

Most parents, when they see their children playing with dirty things, take them off unexpectedly, scold him or even hit him. As a result, there are fewer children and more resentment towards their parents. Even if you don't hate your parents, you should at least dislike them a little, and gradually you won't take what your parents say as your own meaning. Parents want to take away his dirty things, children still take them away, parents scold him, and he still plays with dirty things. This kind of situation, we often see in society. Parents teach their children this way, but the children can't change, but gradually develop naughty habits.

This article is selected from the story of Chen Heqin's education of his children.

Chen Heqin is a famous educator, child psychologist and child education expert in modern China, and the founder of early childhood education in modern China. 19 14 graduated from Tsinghua University, then studied in the United States, and successively obtained a bachelor's degree from Johns Hopkins University and a master's degree from Teachers College of Columbia University.