Lan Shu: Hello, Miss Yang, I want to talk to you about children's education. Yang Yonglong: You said Lan Shu: My son is in the fifth grade this year, but he still doesn't know how to study. I wonder if there is something wrong with my educational methods. Yang Yonglong: I don't know what the performance of learning is. Lan Shu: The homework left by the school teacher is not done, but the quality is not high, and there is a coping phenomenon. I am in a hurry, but my children don't understand at all, and my study is very passive. Why can't he finish his homework with high quality? Lan Shu: I talked to him, but I want to learn well, but I don't want to work hard. If I work hard, I don't want to do it. I always wanted to play. Yang Yonglong: It can be managed by token. This method is in my blog post "Educating children to pay attention to good ways and means". Can be adapted according to the specific situation of children to try. Lan Shu: I also thought about this method. I'll talk to you and see if it works. He likes skateboarding, so I bought him one, but there are rules. If he finishes his homework before 7: 00 pm, the error rate of each subject can't exceed 3, and he can play skateboarding the next day, which will still promote him to some extent, but it can be seen that he still has to cope with this kind of motivation. For example, sometimes homework is completed beyond the prescribed standards. He'll give you the terms. There is too much homework today. I am hungry and want to eat today. Yang Yonglong: The key is to discuss with the children. Since a decision has been made, it needs to be strictly implemented. I think you must be the mother of the child. Lan Shu: Yes, is the standard I set unscientific, or is there something wrong with my implementation? Yang Yonglong: I suggest that you leave your child's study and activities to the father to manage Lan Shu: I am anxious about my child's study, and sometimes I feel that my mind is abnormal and I am too eager to achieve success. Lan Shu: No, his father himself said that I can't control him and I have no patience. Yang Yonglong: Raising my dad was a mistake. Lan Shu: I feel the same way myself. When you are in a good mood, you just want to forget it and make him happy. If I was in a bad mood then, I would give him a good beating. His time is limited and sometimes he can't come back on time. Most of the things about educating children are mine. I want to educate them well, but I think they are not good. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Yang Yonglong: I'm not saying that your education is not strict. It is that the child has changed from mother to father after attending primary school. At this time, the father had better educate and guide the children. Lan Shu: Oh, Yang Yonglong: What a mother has to care about is the child's life and the contradiction between father and son. Lan Shu: Yes, although I often beat him, he still listens to his father more. I don't know if I'm afraid of him or something. If he is not at home, his son will not listen to me very much, which is different from when his father is at home. Yang Yonglong: As a mother, we should first let our children know about men's love-mouth (reprimand) and feet (corporal punishment). This is what mothers need to explain to their children behind their backs. Mom should also communicate with dad behind his back when dad does something wrong. When the father criticizes the children, we'd better do nothing, let alone express different opinions. Lan Shu: Yes, I realize now that I did something wrong. I did it. Sometimes the child always takes advantage of both of us. Sometimes he told his father that my mother said I could play, and sometimes he told me that my father said my homework was ok. When we confronted each other, we found that the child lied at both ends and achieved what he wanted to do. Nothing more than being lazy or playing for a while. Yang Yonglong: So I said that the division of labor between husband and wife should be clear-dad is in charge of children's study and activities; Mothers manage their children's lives and reconcile the contradiction between father and son. Lan Shu: I'm rethinking whether there is a problem with my education method. I didn't give any specific requirements for study, and I didn't have the patience to persist, so my father couldn't control him in his study. First, time is not allowed, and you can't be at home on time when you are on a business trip. Second, for example, he can't master English. Yang Yonglong: Since you don't know this question yet, you should follow your own ideas. Lan Shu: Is there a problem with my understanding? Yang Yonglong: The method I gave you to cultivate excellent children is also in my blog post "Educating children to pay attention to good ways and means". Please refer to. Lan Shu: Miss Yang, I will study carefully what you just said. Thank you for your guidance. Let's talk about Yang Yonglong another day. All right. Lan Shu: Hello, Teacher Yang Yonglong: Hello, Lan Shu: Sometimes I feel that my education method is wrong, but I don't know how to suit my children's education. Children love to play, which is really understandable. What was your son like when he was a child? Yang Yonglong: My son loved to play when he was a child. When he was in primary school, I took him to Lan Shu almost every day. Then he was happy. I also hope his children have a happy childhood. How to learn? Yang Yonglong: My request at that time was that I had better finish my homework at school so that I could have more time to play. Lan Shu: That's not bad. I can study and play. I hope my children can do the same. Yang Yonglong: When I graduated from primary school, I was one of more than 1000 students. What school does the child attend now? Is it a university? Yang Yonglong: The competition among high school students is fierce. Six or seven thousand students are competing for our school. Now they are going to college. Lan Shu: Oh, the high school is in Miss Yang's school. Yang Yonglong: Because our school is a provincial key middle school. Lan Shu: Yes. Yang Yonglong: My hope for my child is to satisfy his own pursuit. Lan Shu: What qualities should Mr. Yang pay attention to in primary school? Yang Yonglong: It doesn't matter what school, as long as you are admitted to your favorite major. The most important thing for primary school students is to form behavior habits. Lan Shu: Your point of view is very open-minded, but my son only knows how to play now, and has no requirement for study, yes. Do you mean the behavior and habits outside school? Yang Yonglong: For example, study hard when studying, and let go of Lan Shu when playing. Yes, I feel the same way, but he was just playing. How can parents let him play again? He has no requirements for learning, but he has no initiative. Sometimes he feels very tired as a parent. I don't know if you feel this way. Yang Yonglong: This requires us to standardize in the normal learning process of children. Let them form good study habits. Yang Yonglong: I have never asked my children to be the first in the exam. Lan Shu: What should I do? Can Mr. Yang give it? Yang Yonglong: Actually, the token method I gave you before is a good method. Lan Shu: Yes, you can get something without asking. The more you ask, the less you get. Ok, I will. Yang Yonglong: My son often uses this method in grade one or two. Lan Shu: Now he is in the fifth grade. Is it still appropriate? Yang Yonglong: So, after two years, I have formed his habit. Lan Shu: Teacher Yang, I mean, is this child too old now? Is this method a little naive for him? Yang Yonglong: This method is not only suitable for primary school students, but also for junior high school students and senior high school students. Lan Shu: Great, I will stick to it. Yang Yonglong: I have asked many parents in junior high schools to use this method. Have achieved very good results. Lan Shu: Your main meaning is to encourage him and stimulate his own interest in learning. Yang Yonglong: Yes. Lan Shu: Well, I don't just want my child to be the first. I just want my child to grow up and become a self-reliant person in the future. Lan Shu: He is a "good man". This is my hope for his children. Yang Yonglong: If you really understand the token method and the method of cultivating excellent children I gave you, and I think your education method also includes punishment, so you should not rule out appropriate punishment. Yang Yonglong: Look at my "Gentle Education Thought" and you will understand: Teacher Yang, have you seen the educational methods? Yang Yonglong: I haven't met Lan Shu: His educational view is encouragement and guidance, but I don't think it is suitable for my children. For example, he often talks about his daughter's math homework 65438. He only had two correct answers, so he put two big ticks on them, but eight wrong questions were ignored. Therefore, children only need to pay attention to the two correct answers. I think this situation should be aimed at different children, don't you think? Yang Yonglong: Hehe, I'm talking about teaching students in accordance with their aptitude. Lan Shu: Yes, teaching students in accordance with their aptitude, so I think my son can't just praise them. There should be appropriate punishment. Yang Yonglong: Therefore, the token method is more flexible, and the ways and means of token method should be negotiated with children according to their characteristics. Lan Shu: When he was a child, I didn't know much about education. I just praise blindly, some feel unrealistic and unnecessary, so I let my children underestimate the praise of their parents. Yang Yonglong: Then how did you praise it? Lan Shu: I only remember that when I was a child, my son could write, so I told him in general that your writing was really good. Fortunately, I couldn't say it myself, and some of them were very moved. I don't think I really put myself into the child's situation. I just praised the child Yang Yonglong there: Your handwriting today is very standardized, and I appreciate it. If you can recite these words, your mother will be more grateful to you. Lan Shu: In this way, children have a goal to strive for. Yang Yonglong: It is such praise and encouragement, not blind praise and encouragement. Lan Shu: Parents' demands are too confusing. Yes, I realize this now, and sometimes I think it's too late. Yang Yonglong: So I want you to understand the two methods I gave you. Lan Shu: Talking with you has really increased a lot of knowledge. Yang Yonglong: Actually, there are many skills in both methods, which are really necessary. Lan Shu: Teacher Yang, I made an agreement with my son that he can play skateboarding after finishing his homework at 7 o'clock. I'm leaving later. Let's talk about it another day. Lan Shu: You must go home, too. Yang Yonglong: Yes, 886: Teacher Yang, I will carefully consider your educational methods when I get home. Thank you, 88 Lan Shu: Sometimes I feel that I have no goal in educating my children. What happened? Sometimes I feel like I have no idea. Yang Yonglong: Primary school is a crucial period for children to cultivate good study habits. How can there be no goal? Lan Shu: I don't know anything about education, do I? Lan Shu: My initial view on learning is that children can get good grades, which is the initial learning goal. Yang Yonglong: For example, teaching learning methods and training children to finish their homework on time and in sections every day are actually specific goals. Lan Shu: Learning methods, how do parents teach them? Being a parent really has no specific maneuverability, or it may be that I didn't summarize the learning methods when I was at school, and my children didn't like learning. Have you found a suitable learning method? Yang Yonglong: Please read the correct learning methods to the students. Lan Shu: Miss Yang, can you tell me how you know so much about education? Is it because of your interest? Yang Yonglong: Of course, it's because of your study and summary. Lan Shu: Why are you so interested in education? Yang Yonglong: Hehe, I am a teacher because of my duties. Because interest is the best teacher, and because of interest, I keep learning and summarizing. Lan Shu: Where did your interest come from? Is it a sense of responsibility? But children can't be responsible, can they? Yang Yonglong: Responsibility is cultivated under the guidance of continuous education. For the cultivation of children's good behavior habits, our parents should have patience, love and perseverance. Lan Shu: OK, Mr. Yang, I will continue to communicate and learn from you. Please don't be too boring. Teacher Yang, sometimes when educating children, she feels a little shaky and too troublesome. Yang Yonglong: This requires us to urge our children to practice the new words in primary school textbooks repeatedly, and at the same time teach them with concrete image words, such as "well". In the past, wooden boards such as "#" were used by wells in rural areas to let children write down the word "well"; For another example, according to the characteristics of Chinese characters, guide children to compile some songs suitable for children's interest and understanding level, let children read aloud repeatedly, and let children have an intuitive image of fonts, thus improving the accuracy of memorizing fonts. For example, "sit on a stone and talk about it-finish it", "There is no early dawn, and the grass grows in the morning. Cattle and sheep are happy when they see it, and seedlings are annoyed when they see it-grass "; For another example, you can use the crossword puzzle "Bite off the cow's tail-Sue" and "The cow walks on the wooden bridge-live broadcast"; Such as word splitting, comparison, addition and subtraction of familiar words, action demonstration, adding radicals to familiar words, changing radicals and so on. Can speed up the children's memorization of new words. What do you think people do without trouble? Lan Shu: Yes, very good. Very specific. I remember when I was a child, I remembered it by association or other methods. Yes, many things are troublesome, but some are more interested and some are not. Children's lack of interest in learning is related to parents' lack of correct guidance, right? Yang Yonglong: Since you brought your child into this world without his consent, no matter how troublesome it is, we should educate your child well. Lan Shu: Yes, I think so. This is also the ideological pillar that supports me to educate my children well. I can't be irresponsible to my children, but sometimes I really feel depressed with half the effort. Yang Yonglong: The method I gave you to cultivate excellent children is a good way to guide children and cultivate their interest in learning. Lan Shu. Lan Shu: Hello, Mr. Yang. Thank you very much for your help during that time. My son's grades went up again, and he was in the top ten in both exams. His class teacher is very satisfied with his grades and performance. The class teacher said that he was very relieved about his son's current learning momentum. Thank you very much