■ What courses have you taken?
First, I learned the subconscious mind, then I learned family arrangement, then I learned emotional management, then I learned parent-child communication skills and the cultivation of children's key social skills, and finally I learned Montessori's educational philosophy. During this period, I also studied the course of psychological nutrition. Of course, there is also a teacher Zhang who gives us extra meals.
Subordinate Power of Children in Family Subconsciousness —— Li Shengjie
Exploring the Root of Family Problems —— Wu Zizao
"A mother's mood determines her child's future"-Cheng Jingjun
Parent-child communication skills in children's life-Gao Zijie
How to Cultivate Children's Key Social Competence —— Han Bing
Montessori Education —— The educational idea of Yan Xu, the richest man in the world
Psychological nutrition-forest
Effective communication, iceberg theory, how to grow up after knowing the truth of family problems, my road to emotional management-zhangyan.
■ Review of main contents
The course of subconscious mind knows that it is our subconscious mind that controls our behavior. The subconscious energy is huge, it only recognizes familiar patterns, and the stimulation of images is more useful. The child's subconscious is formed by the input of our parents, and our subconscious has an important influence on the child. The subconscious can be changed. Replace the subconscious with the law of 2 1 day, constantly replace the negative thoughts with mindfulness, and mobilize the power of the subconscious to your advantage with unconscious thoughts and imagination. After learning the theoretical knowledge, I will now realize what my subconscious beliefs are doing when I encounter something. The subconscious determines the fate of life, and consciousness is the beginning of awakening. Faith will form the direction and focus of attention, and what you believe will shape you.
The family arrangement course made me understand the influence of the arrangement of husband and wife at home on the whole family, and how boys and girls grow into men and women. Men are heaven, women are earth, and children are free to be children between heaven and earth. This shows that no matter how successful a woman is in her career, she must admire her man at home and in her heart and give him feminine and nourishing strength at home. Family is a place to talk about feelings, and right or wrong is not the most important thing. There is no absolute right or wrong, but everyone's belief system formed in the process of growing up is different, which leads to different judgment standards. Let go of right and wrong, let go of judgment, and open the hearts of partners and children. We should deal with the relationship between husband and wife and let the children grow up with peace of mind, because children love their parents most and always save and fill their parents' problems as soon as possible!
? Emotional management is a compulsory course for everyone. In the course, I learned the definition of nine emotions, how to produce them, what beliefs are behind them, and how to transform them in the end. When you encounter something that produces emotions, use emotional ABC theory to analyze the source of emotions, find the belief behind it, and then try to release it and change your mind. Of course, you can't deceive yourself or suppress yourself. At this time, you should allow yourself what you can't do and let your emotions flow, but you should pay attention to the way, and you can't hurt others, yourself or the environment. Emotional sources need time and space to think back and feel slowly, which may come from unfinished events in childhood or from a traumatic event. This teacher Zhang clearly pointed out the direction for us in her emotional management, met her, saw her, and then changed her mind with a pen. Any emotion is acceptable. Acceptance doesn't mean liking, but acknowledging its existence and surrendering to the facts that have existed and happened, and our pain will be reduced. Emotion is a kind of energy. If she can come, of course she can. All we have to do is stay with her, feel her feelings, care for her and accompany her.
Everyone needs to master communication skills. Parent-child communication skills class learned communication skills for children's daily behavior, including how to guide cooperation, how to motivate children through vertical comparison, how to appreciate and reward children, how to guide them in the face of mistakes, and how to make children more independent, confident and self-disciplined! Skills are not memorizing, but practicing. We can't do it step by step. You should make full use of this opportunity. Don't mess around until you know how to handle it. Shut up and take your leg! The general principles can be: unconditionally accept feelings, regularly accept behaviors, and give children endless emotional and spiritual support. Communicate in a consistent way. Children will only communicate with you if they have a good impression. Paying attention to feelings is love, and paying attention to events is control. Love him as he is, not as you wish. Repetitive behavior will form habits, like to shape people's character, and character determines fate. Criticism won't make us better, but appreciation can. Affirmation and appreciation bring satisfaction to children, and inner satisfaction is the internal motivation for children to continue this behavior.
In the course of key social skills, I learned that key social skills include socialization, self-discipline, emotional management, initiative, prosocial behavior and self-esteem. Through the study of this course, I know how to cultivate children's empathy, gratitude and kindness, how to make children polite, responsible, honest and trustworthy, and how to handle social and emotional problems with ease. In fact, as adults, we also need to learn and possess these abilities. Among them, I think self-discipline is the most important, especially internal self-discipline. When a child has a sense of boundaries with himself, others and the environment, he will understand the meaning of the rules and naturally abide by them, and self-discipline will naturally appear on him. A self-disciplined person will be kind, polite and responsible. He has few emotional problems. He likes himself. He will follow his heart, know how to refuse, and live a consistent life.
Montessori's educational philosophy has been seen in Sensitive Books and Complete Growth before, and this time it is to further deepen understanding. The course mainly studies the different manifestations of 3 1 sensitive period and the guidance of parents, and has a deeper understanding of the cultivation of creativity and concentration. We should give our children conscious rules of love and freedom, respect education and give them the right to choose. In the book Conscious Love, the author Wang Shu describes the inner needs of children during their growth, including:
Children are eager to be concerned and valued;
Children need a sense of security;
Children need to be fully accepted;
Children need to love and be loved;
Children need to be appreciated;
What children need is rules, not discipline.
Regarding true love, the author Wang Shu also clearly pointed out the direction for us:
Love is to pay attention to the inner growth of children;
Love is the feeling of inner flow of life;
Love is to let children express their true feelings;
Love is listening to children's lives.
? In the course of psychological nutrition, we should understand the five kinds of psychological nutrition that people need and how to supplement them, that is, unconditional acceptance, the most important thing in life, safety, affirmation, appreciation, praise, recognition and learning cognitive model (in fact, there is freedom of choice); With enough psychological nutrition, the five golden flowers of life can bloom, that is, the ability to love, to communicate with people, to feel safe, to be independent and to have a sense of value; I also learned five innate qualities, namely optimism, depression, radicalism, calmness and dedication. Among them, Dr. Lin talked about the method of "privilege card", which was very impressive and can be adopted in the future. Give children psychological nutrition and build the background color of riff-raff. Attached here is an excerpt from the book "Love of Awareness":
Parents' Handbook-Psychological Cultivation (Excerpt)
■ Learning gains
The first point is that I understand the essence of education. As teacher Yan Xu said: "The essence of education is the growth of a life and the creation of a complete life." . As the German philosopher Jaspers said, "Education means that a tree shakes a tree, a cloud pushes a cloud, and one soul awakens another." . I said that education is to help children build their own inner iceberg, give them a good environment for the growth of spiritual embryos, and let them live a consistent life. Education is mutual, and educators will be educated while educating others. Contemporary education is not how much knowledge educators teach, nor how much time scholars spend studying, but internal growth. If the inner growth is good, then this person's five golden flowers will bloom. A person with rich heart will be confident, independent, cheerful, quiet and dedicated. He has good understanding, observation, thinking, science, creativity, expression and social skills. Secondly, I understand that education is difficult because educators face two major challenges. On the one hand, I need to deal with my childhood growth experience, on the other hand, it is the pressure from social competition. Third, the focus of education is not the mastery of knowledge and skills, but the cultivation of soft power. Cultivate a talent who can think, understand analysis, summarize and generalize, that is, cultivate brain power, scientific power, thinking power and expressive power. The most important thing in the cultivation of soft power is to let the child become himself, let the child have rich inner qualities and let him discover his own abilities with limited energy. Educators need to know their own iceberg state and how it is formed step by step before they can help children build a good iceberg for their children. From Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, Ms. Satya's iceberg theory and Montessori's idea to Lin's psychological nutrition, psychological growth, internal growth and self-construction are emphasized. Know yourself, be yourself, and be the master of your body, mind and emotions.
■ Feelings and thoughts
Knowing the core and essence makes me feel shocked. I thought I was educating my children, but I ended up "putting myself in". After seeing the essence of the problem clearly, follow the teacher's three steps of personal growth. The first step is to find your own problems. You can know yourself and analyze yourself with iceberg tools. The second step is to be the ideal parent of your inner child after seeing your inner child. Give yourself psychological nutrition and soothing treatment; The third step is to help your partner grow. Know yourself and be yourself. Of course, personal growth can be combined with the upbringing of children. Knowing yourself will naturally understand the needs of children. Grasp the essence, add the practice and internalization of methods, theories and methods, and then know more, analyze more problems, practice more, do not pursue speed, and know how to pursue quality.
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