Chattering is also an over-education.
In the impression of ordinary people, over-education probably means giving children too many "small stoves", which leads to indigestion. In fact, over-education covers a wide range, including the following aspects:
1. Too much emphasis on early education and specialty education: this is probably the most common educational misunderstanding in modern families. Prenatal education, children's English, piano lessons on weekends and cram schools on holidays are probably commonplace for children nowadays. Parents always want to create the best conditions for their children and let them receive the best education. But we should know that early education and junior college education are important, but they also vary from person to person. If children are given "bad lessons" blindly regardless of their age, personality and temperament differences, it is likely to cause children's "indigestion", which will seriously make children feel tired of learning, affect normal classroom learning, and even distort their personality, which will seriously affect their physical and mental health.
2. Excessive interference: this kind of parents are always talking to their children, asking questions about every detail, lacking equality and respect for their children, ignoring their independence, and always thinking that their children are "young" and "not sensible" and won't do anything. Or no matter what children do, they should stand behind and point: "You should do this, not that", "It's not like this, it's like this". Over time, children will have a serious rebellious mentality, their nature will be bound, and their healthy growth will be limited.
3. Overprotection: This kind of parents take care of their children. Like nannies, they try to meet all the requirements of their children and do everything instead of them as much as possible. They don't want to see their children suffer any grievances and setbacks. If their children are dissatisfied or unhappy, they will think that they have not fulfilled their responsibilities as parents. Children who grow up in this environment have only themselves in their hearts and will not consider others. They lack a sense of responsibility for family and society, and their self-care ability is poor, so it is difficult for them to adapt to the society in which they live.
4. Excessive punishment: Contrary to excessive protection, some parents are too strict and harsh on their children, regardless of their actual situation and objective reality, regardless of their feelings and thoughts, and only proceed from their own subjective wishes. Sometimes I just keep up with other children. If other children can do it, I ask my own children to do it, and I pay too much attention to the dignity of my parents. If children disobey orders or make mistakes, they will feel offended, sarcastic and abusive.
The harm of over-education is not only learning disabilities.
The so-called extremes meet, and if anything goes too far, it will inevitably have a negative effect, as will the education of children. Some parents think that it's just a waste of time and energy to "overweight" their children too much to digest, and it won't have much impact, right? This idea is wrong. The harm of over-education not only affects children's learning, but sometimes even leads to children's personality defects, which is more worrying than simple learning disabilities.
1. Overeducation leads to learning disabilities. Too much emphasis on early education and specialty education makes children's rest and free play time occupied and deprived. Parents' compulsion and excessive intellectual stimulation deprive children of interest and happiness in learning, making them lose their curiosity and thirst for knowledge. Interest in learning is the internal motivation to promote children to engage in various learning activities. Learning without interest can be a painful experience. Over time, children will have resistance and resistance to learning. This is also the main reason why many children are tired of learning, afraid of learning and have difficulties in learning.
2. Excessive interference leads to rebellious psychology. Parents ask their children for everything, and it is easy for them to have a strong rebellious mentality. Even if you are right, he won't do it, or even oppose it. Or because of fear of parents' criticism and reprimand, some things are simply hidden from their parents, which directly leads to behavioral problems such as lying, running away from home, and internet infatuation. Moreover, due to more interference and less appreciation encouragement, it is not conducive to the establishment of children's self-esteem and self-confidence.
3. Overprotection leads to communication barriers for children. Parents love and protect their children too much, which makes them form self-centered thinking, ask others for care, and lack the sense of responsibility and the ability to love. They often lack independence, coping ability and frustration tolerance. Once you leave your parents, it is easy to have psychological conflicts such as helplessness, incompetence and inferiority, and it is easy to have difficulties in interpersonal relationships and social adaptation.
4. Excessive punishment leads to children's personality defects. Being too strict and harsh on children will make children feel no affection and love. Growing up in a depressed environment will make them depressed, inferior, passive and indecisive, or on the contrary, impulsive, indifferent and violent. Such children are insecure, often hostile and aggressive, and often have difficulties in interpersonal relationships. When encountering setbacks and failures, it is easy to make extreme behaviors and reactions.
How to educate children moderately?
Overeducation is a very complicated problem, which is caused by the social environment and schools, and cannot be solved in a short time. If parents can understand their children's psychological needs and growth rules at a specific age, and pay attention to educational methods and skills, they will certainly make their children grow healthier and happier.
1. Early education and specialty education should start from children's personality, temperament types and potential characteristics, and pay attention to cultivating children's interest and happiness in the learning process. Only those who are interested in learning are active, happy and not easily bored. On the contrary, if learning lacks interest and happiness, it is passive, forced, boring and painful, and it is easy to produce boredom and resistance.
2. Respect children's autonomy, give them enough space and don't interfere too much. On the road of children's growth, parents can guide them, but they can't interfere and replace them. Children should be allowed to explore for themselves. Mistakes and failures are inevitable in the process of growing up, and you can't interfere with children because you are afraid of making mistakes or failures.
Don't do everything for the children. Cultivate children's independence and autonomy, learn to walk with their own feet, do things by themselves, cultivate a sense of self-responsibility, and help children acquire various abilities through study and practice.
4. Respect children, don't replace children's will with your own, and set reasonable expectations for children's design and planning based on children's reality. Don't always compare your children with other children, pay more attention to the process of children's growth, encourage children to constantly surpass themselves, overcome themselves and experience the value and happiness of life.
Wishing children success is a good wish of many people, but it must be understood that not everyone can be a "dragon". I hope parents will not restrain their children and bury their nature in too much interference.