Recently, in a children's playground in Jinan, a family of four found that the doll door was unlocked and the child stole a doll from it.

Instead of accusing him, his parents joined forces to "commit a crime" a few minutes later.

As can be seen from the picture, parents block their children with their bodies, and the children carefully look away from time to time, spy on the business dynamics, seize the opportunity, and steal a doll while they are not paying attention.

Repeatedly, the child took four dolls from the doll machine, and the parents became the best accomplices for the child to steal.

As the saying goes, "Steal needles when you are young, and steal gold when you grow up."

In the face of children's theft, parents should have stopped and guided their children to correct their mistakes in the right way. Now they personally cover up their children and steal toys. What kind of children will such education teach? It's chilling.

Nowadays, the topic about Xiong Haizi has aroused widespread concern, but no one is born with Xiong Haizi. Xiong Haizi's birth is closely related to his parents' education.

Behind every bear Haizi, there is a bear parent.

1

Your upbringing is the upbringing of children.

The study of human intelligence finds that a child before the age of seven is a complete "sensory organ".

A child's whole body is like a big eye, which will form an impression on the people around him, and these impressions will be transformed into their body, mind and spirit bit by bit.

Therefore, your behavior and performance in front of children determine the tendency of children's development.

I once saw an advertisement in parenting education, and the video fully demonstrated children's ability to imitate their parents' behavior.

The father and the child crossed the road together. The father threw the finished bottle on the ground, and the child learned to throw it on the ground.

The mother insults others loudly while driving, and the child raises his middle finger in the back seat and insults others loudly;

The father quarreled with his mother and used violence against her, and the child also used violence against her.

Some people say that children are copies of their parents, which is by no means empty talk.

Baldwin, an American black writer, said: Children will never listen to adults, but they will certainly imitate them.

Whether to imitate the high accomplishment of adults or the low quality of adults depends entirely on the appearance of adults.

Wang Shuzhen, a legendary mother of 106 years old, has cultivated 13 doctors with her high self-cultivation, among which Li Changyu, a great detective in China, is the most famous.

Li Changyu's second brother Li Changduo used to run a fish pond in Taiwan Province. Unfortunately, a worker fell into a fish pond and drowned.

Some people say that the workers are careless and don't need to be responsible, but Wang Shuzhen insisted on mutual compensation and finally had to sell the fish pond.

Wang Shuzhen's honesty makes an honest Li Changyu.

When Li Changyu was a policeman, he applied to the police chief to leave his post and study abroad. The Commissioner asked him, "Are you coming back from studying abroad?"

Li Changyu knew that the chief wanted to hear that he would definitely come back, but he was honest and correct. He replied, "If I am needed here, I will come back. If I am not needed, I will not come back. "

Unexpectedly, it was because of his honesty that the director hastily passed his application.

Wang Shuzhen's honesty was passed on to Li Changyu, and the violence and abuse of parents in the video were also passed on to the children.

Obviously, education is hereditary.

That's why psychoanalyst kohut said: Who parents are is more important than what they do.

There is a saying in the Book of the Later Han Dynasty: "Those who teach by example are obedient, and those who teach by example are litigious."

It means that you practice and others listen; All talk and no action, others won't listen.

Tell you two stories. Two children were caught stealing, because different parents did different things, leading to different lives.

A boy of 12 years old, with excellent academic performance, is his father's pride, but the boy actually stole books in the bookstore and was caught by the boss red-handed.

After receiving the phone call from the boss, my father hurried to the bookstore. Everyone thought that his father would severely criticize the children. Unexpectedly, he just sincerely apologized to the bookstore owner.

He said, "I'm sorry for the trouble. My son has always wanted this book because he didn't bring enough money to do such a foolish thing, but he is not a bad boy. Do you think I can pay three times the price for this book? "

After the father paid for the books, they left the bookstore and walked silently for a while, but neither of them spoke. Finally, the son couldn't help it and apologized to his father, saying it wouldn't happen again. Later, my son really didn't steal anything again.

The father taught his children not to steal, but the following mother taught them to be real thieves.

In a small supermarket, the little boy stole two lollipops because of his greedy mouth, and was caught by the boss's wife on the spot. He insisted on his parents' cell phone number and called his mother.

After the mother rushed over, she slapped the boy twice and scolded him in public: "You thief, aren't you ashamed enough?" Stealing is wrong. Didn't I teach you that? "

Later, when I saw the boy, he had dropped out of school, followed a bunch of gangsters all day and did nothing, becoming a real thief.

Mother once advised him to turn over a new leaf, and the boy said angrily, "You said I was a thief, so I should show it to you."

There is an effect in psychology called "label effect".

When a person is labeled with a name, he will have this impression on himself and gradually make his image consistent with the labeled image. That's why boys become real thieves.

In the face of children stealing, the former uses words and deeds to teach children to return to the right path, while the latter makes children become real thieves through oral education.

It is not difficult to find that example is a more effective way than oral education.

After all, children are not obedient robots, but living people who need to be influenced.

The most effective way is to teach by example and less by oral education.

three

The best education is to grow up with children.

Psychologist Hu believes that parents need to grow up again.

Parents and children, in the process of growing up, actually promote each other.

The growth of parents will drive the growth of children, and the growth of children will in turn push parents to become better parents.

Like the mother in this story.

She is a teacher, but her son's performance in the senior high school entrance examination is not satisfactory, and he has not been admitted to the ideal high school.

As a teacher, she was very depressed. She has taught other people's children, but she can't teach her own.

So she began to reflect on her behavior. Over the years, her deep pursuit of stability and comfort may have invisibly affected her son's learning state.

So, she had a long talk with her son: "Son, mom made an agreement with you." In the next three years, mom will work hard with you. You will study hard and be admitted to your favorite university. My mother will work hard to start a business and try to have her own studio. "

My son happily agreed to this agreement. The next three years are the most difficult time for her to start a business, and she lacks the teaching of her children. She even doubted whether she was a qualified mother.

But three years later, when she finally had her own studio, her doubts disappeared.

On that day, my son who was successfully admitted to an American university came to attend the opening ceremony of her studio. He said proudly, "I'm proud of my mother!" The indomitable struggle on her body is the best encouragement and spur to me. "

This is the best way of education, set an example and become a better self with children.

As yang LAN said, "don't put all your energy on children." If you are full, happy, responsible and have the ability of emotional management, your children will imitate you. "

Family education is not simply educating children, but also self-education of our parents.

Growth is not a child's journey, but a family's journey.

Growing up with children is the most beautiful scenery of family education and the best attitude of parents towards life.