First of all, grandparents must love their grandchildren very much. After all, there is blood relationship, but as long as children have some bad behavior habits, parents must also be the one to educate. As the saying goes, if children don't teach, parents will make mistakes. In fact, children's growth is greatly influenced by their parents' education.

When parents discipline, grandparents don't know, and they will persuade their parents to stop their educational behavior. On the one hand, it encourages the child's arrogance. He feels that someone is supporting him and even his parents don't pay attention to it. Over time, no one can say when the child makes a mistake, and the authority of parents on the child will be gone. Especially when children are in adolescence, children are lawless. At this time, mom and dad want to discipline but don't listen. At that time, the head will be big.

On the other hand, whenever they see grandparents, children usually run to hide in their arms, and then their parents are helpless. Every time I interrupt like this, the child learns to find a "safe haven" to escape and not talk to his parents. Therefore, communicating with grandparents in advance is only a small punishment, and children still need to be disciplined.

You can communicate with your children alone in a separate room, avoiding grandparents. At the same time, a person explaining the situation, educating the children, taking advantage of grandparents' absence, or entering a separate room to educate the children, will completely break the children's thoughts.

In family education, it is best for some people to play the bad COP and others to play the bad COP. On the one hand, it will bring shock to children, on the other hand, it will comfort children, and it will give children psychological comfort when giving them correct guidance. Of course, when children grow up, it is best to talk to them calmly.

I'm Ma, and I want to share with you something about Luwa and Yuwa. Please improve your knowledge and update yourself. Welcome comments and exchanges.

In educating children, the attitude of the whole family must be in place in order to have good results, and we can't fight one and protect the other. Once I went to my son's house, I saw my grandson crying very sadly as soon as I entered the door. I complained to him that he had not finished his homework and was beaten by his son. Obviously, his son has gone too far. Although I feel sorry for my grandson, I can't tell him face to face, so I say "deserved it" against my will! Later, I accused my son behind my grandson's back. Did I do the right thing?

What if parents discipline their children and grandparents always interfere?

This is a problem that many parents encounter in the process of disciplining their children, because grandparents are distressed by their children and want to intervene to protect them when they see their parents disciplining their children, especially scolding them.

This is not good for parents to discipline their children, because opinions are not unified. Even if parents discipline their children, they should agree. If they have different opinions, don't say it in front of the children. The children don't know who to listen to.

If parents discipline their children and grandparents intervene, it is suggested that this can be done.

1. Make it clear to grandparents in private, and don't interfere when disciplining children. Either agree with yourself and don't stand with your children.

It is also very hard for grandparents to help with children, and parents understand it, but if everyone has different views when educating children, it will not play a role in educating children. Children don't know who is right or wrong.

Grandparents don't care to teach their children when they are around. So as not to cause conflict.

Grandparents care about their children, especially when they see their parents quarreling with their children, and they always want to protect their children. It's hard to see your grandson being criticized and ignored, so it's best not to criticize and educate your children in front of your parents.

In short, the elderly generally spoil their children, and we also understand the "generational relationship". So in order not to let grandparents interfere, we should make it clear to them in advance or discipline them in front of them.

This is a problem that many families will face. After having children, how to discipline children when there are old people at home?

First of all, I think we should communicate with the elderly first. Euphemistically express your thoughts and tell your grandparents what your original intention is, for the good of your children. Gentle tone and firm stance will definitely be accepted by the elderly. After all, they also want their children and grandchildren to grow up.

In addition, you can quote the advice of professionals or the cases of people that grandparents trust, and illustrate the importance of educating children not to cover up and spoil them through the cases around them.

Of course, there may also be grandparents who blindly spoil their children without principles. At this time, you may tell him more truth, but it won't help. At this time, if you can avoid taking care of children with the elderly, you can avoid it. Bring it yourself if you can. Even if it is hard, the education of children can not be ignored. After all, it will affect the healthy growth of children.

First of all, we must understand the starting point of the elderly. Second, we should communicate with the elderly and strive for the consistency of the principle of educating children within the family. Third, try to avoid the elderly when communication is ineffective. Don't let the old people have too much interference.

Your question often appears in many families living with the elderly, which also leads to many family conflicts. When I first gave birth to a child, I decided to leave my job and take care of the child alone in order to give the child continuous education. Actually, I'm worried about conflicts with the elderly at home. I think grandparents and grandparents are involved in the management of children for practical reasons.

Not long ago, I took my children back to my grandmother's house, and my father and I discussed this issue in depth. At that time, I jokingly said to him, "Dad, why didn't you be soft when I did something wrong when I was a child? Now you are impatient when I talk about my daughter?" My dad thought for a long time and only replied, "It's a good thing you didn't let me take care of the children." Jokes are jokes, but I think there are several reasons why the elderly are easy to fall into the generation gap:

1. I hope my children will kiss me.

This reason is actually quite sad. When they educate us as children, they don't think about whether hitting us will affect the parent-child relationship, because we have a very direct blood relationship, which can't be erased. But this is not the case for grandchildren. They will worry that if the control is too strict, the children will not come to them. The life of the elderly is limited. They very much hope for family harmony, children and grandchildren around their knees, and even more eager for family ties than when they were young. So they will be much softer than when they were children.

2. I can't stand the children's begging.

Sometimes old people don't take the initiative to confront their young parents, but they can't stand the pleading tone or eyes of their children. Nowadays, children are all "little people", and they know very well who to turn to for help. Whenever this time, the old man is actually in a dilemma. Manage it well, and there is a gap with children; Anyway, I really can't stand the children's soft grinding and hard foam Therefore, after a long period of internal testing, I still think that children are vulnerable groups in this kind of confrontation, so it is easier to favor children.

3. In order to show the authority of parents

There is a kind of person who naturally likes power. When he is a parent, he will arrange the life of his children. When he is old, he hopes to arrange the life of the next generation. This kind of bullying is brought out of his bones. This kind of old people only trust their own education methods, but obviously the two generations have different contact environments and different perceptions of the world, but the powerful old people don't care about these objective facts, and they also want to control the leading direction of the family. Therefore, the "softhearted" at this time is not for connivance, but for emphasizing one's own power.

Since the old people have different reasons to intervene, as young parents, our coping styles should also be different.

1. Soft-hearted elderly people

My parents and in-laws are typical of this kind of "softhearted", so I decided to let them take care of the children alone. This should be a solution once and for all, but perhaps not every young parent can make such a decision. What should I do if I have to live with the elderly? I have three ways to share with you.

1. Don't scold children in front of old people.

If I need to discipline my children at my parents' or in-laws' home, I will drag them to another room to lock the door and chat, or hold back my anger and tell my parents to go downstairs for a walk in advance. In short, don't let the old people face the tense scene. This is to make everyone not embarrassed, and the second is to let the children seriously reflect and not be distracted.

Prioritize

Children will enter a rebellious period from the age of two and a half. Some people often argue with their parents, or explain that parents who know they can't do it clearly and can resist it are definitely not ordinary people. But if you live with the elderly, you can't always let the elderly hear you scold your children. This requires discipline in urgent matters at that time. For things that are not urgent, you can wait until you go to bed at night or go out for a walk alone with your children to sum up your education.

As for the principle, it is necessary to reach a consensus with the elderly before reprimanding the children.

Generally speaking, the question of principle must be said. At this time, I am most worried that the old man will make a mess of the situation. Therefore, the safest way is to reach an agreement with the elderly before educating children. For example, once my niece went downstairs for a walk and stole a lollipop from the supermarket downstairs. She is also my mother-in-law's granddaughter. Her parents weren't at home at that time, so I need to talk to her about this problem. But with her personality, I will definitely cry, so my mother-in-law will definitely come out to stop her. That's why I told my mother-in-law about it before I told her. I told her that if this habit of stealing is not corrected today, it will be more difficult to correct it in the future. She brought up the child. If something happens in the future because of stealing from others, she will be scolded by her daughter-in-law for life. My mother-in-law actually understood the seriousness of the matter, so when I talked about my niece later, she didn't interrupt. Therefore, it is also important to communicate with the elderly in advance.

2. Strong old people

If the old man in the family is overbearing, the best way to stop her from intervening is to "give her enough face".

My best friend's mother is such a real role. In addition, my daughter and son-in-law have been working for a long time, and she brought up her granddaughter, so others are not allowed to question her way of treating children. Sometimes my best friend wants to talk about the child, and she immediately comes up to refute it. Later, I gave my best friend an idea to ask her mother for advice before educating her children.

"Mom, you see Xiao Fei also has this problem now. In your experience, what should I tell her? "

"Mom, when I was a child, Xiaofei and I had this problem? How did you teach me at that time? "

"Mom, I want to talk to Xiao Fei about it, but I'm afraid it's not perfect. Why don't you talk to her? "

At first, her mother was very happy that she was in power, and the children gave themselves face and would not deliberately distinguish right from wrong. She taught the child carefully several times. After all, teaching children is a very troublesome thing. After several times, she was tired of this tedious work, so when my best friend went to talk to her again and asked her to come forward and talk to the children, she directly said to my best friend, "You are a mother, and you have grown up. Your own children still have to say it themselves. I can't follow you all my life. You should learn to educate your children. " In this way, my best friend's child became her own.

In fact, this type of old people need more recognition and respect from young people. They don't care about anything, but they don't want to be lonely old people with no status and status when they are old.

Your in-laws are in charge, so I think there is a problem that you and your wife can't ignore. That is, your in-laws are not your parents, but your husband's parents, and your husband talks to them better than you. That's your husband's family of origin. They have their own way of communication. Instead of rushing ahead by themselves, it is better to seek the help of their children's fathers.

Finally, I want to say one more fair word for all the old people: old people are not decorations, they are flesh and blood and have feelings. As young people, it is unfair that they can't enjoy the convenience provided by the elderly at the expense of their old age, but at the same time refuse them to express their feelings. When you think their education methods are backward, think about how you grew up. Why did you marry the son they taught you? In fact, the education methods of the elderly are not necessarily completely backward, and young people cannot absolutely deny it. The family is an organic whole, and it is best for children to work together.

Parents take care of their children, and grandparents feel that their children are wronged and intervene to protect them. What should they do?

If parents are tough and grandparents can listen to their opinions, then discuss with grandparents and don't interfere when disciplining children. What's the problem? In private, don't interfere with parents' discipline in front of children.

But many grandparents can't stand their grandchildren crying and unhappy, so they will try their best to eliminate the factors that make their grandchildren unhappy.

Anyway, grandparents will step in. What should we do?

Grandparents always go out and discipline their children in a planned way when they are not at home, which is suitable for solving the backlog problem.

If it is fresh, just happened, and grandparents are present, we should discipline the children immediately. I suggest you adopt the following two methods.

1. Closed Loongson

Take the child to his room, close the door and lock it if necessary. But be careful not to go too far, criticize education, and don't hit children.

2. Take the children out of the house

Take the child out for a walk and let the child leave the sight of grandparents, and the child will have no hope.

If you can choose, try to live separately from your grandparents. No one should interfere with anyone who takes care of children.

Parents should take care of their children as much as possible and spend more time with them, so that parents will have a greater influence on their children than grandparents, which is convenient for correcting their wrong behavior.

Many times, parents have problems in disciplining their children. When disciplining children, we should identify with their emotions and correct their behaviors, instead of insisting on being disciplined with them.

Some parents usually don't take their children, and when they see that their children don't meet his expectations, they criticize them indiscriminately, regardless of the reasons behind the behavior. Sometimes grandparents' intervention is based on recognizing children's emotions, not all of them are coquetry.

On the issue of educating children, parents are not necessarily right, and grandparents are not necessarily wrong. It is necessary to judge the child's behavior from the child's point of view and choose the most appropriate way of discipline.

I'm Matt, a senior family education tutor, and I'm glad to answer your question.

One point that is particularly emphasized in family education is that family education must be unified. No matter between parents or generations, once the education of children is inconsistent, it will have a great impact on the growth of children, especially on their personality and ways of dealing with people.

In daily life, the elderly are most likely to intervene in disciplining children when helping them. Many young parents are also very upset about this, knowing that their children are wrong, but the elderly can't blindly educate, which makes these parents very embarrassed.

Parents are well aware of the harm that the elderly always interfere with their children's education, so how should we solve it?

Family problems need to be solved in a family way. The principle is to try to solve it skillfully in various ways with the correct educational methods as the bottom line without affecting family ties. The specific method can be operated through these three points.

To solve the problem of the elderly, both husband and wife must first reach an agreement, otherwise the external problems will not be solved, which will also lead to internal contradictions. Husband and wife must keep pace in these three aspects.

1. The understanding of education between husband and wife should be consistent. Husband and wife can have differences, but they should keep the principle of seeking common ground while reserving differences. If they want to play their respective roles well, it is impossible for a person to be smooth sailing with Qi Xin's concerted efforts.

Husband and wife should be consistent with their children. It is necessary to educate children that they are most afraid of saying one thing and doing another, and at the same time set an example, otherwise the old people will say, why do you ask your children if you can't do it?

Husbands and wives should think of the elderly. To solve the problem of the elderly interfering in their children's education, some "tricks" will be used, and husband and wife have to cooperate. This must be consistent in their thoughts and actions.

Only by unifying thoughts can we solve the problems of the elderly. Some grandparents intervened, and some grandparents intervened. At this time, either they solved their parents themselves or the strong ones solved it.

The situation in our family is due to the fact that the children were brought up by their grandmothers. Now, when children grow up, their grandmothers begin to take part in more and more things. Therefore, their mother came forward to solve the problem. There are two ways.

One is to communicate first, understand with reason, and be moved with emotion. Let grandma know the correct education method, and let the elderly know that if there is too much interference, the children will not listen to their parents' discipline in the future. No one can solve the problem at this time, and the seriousness of the matter must be made clear.

The other is compulsory. When communication cannot be solved, it needs to be enforced. The children take care of themselves completely. If conditions do not allow, both sides should make concessions as much as possible. If things get stiff, it will lead to more contradictions.

Efforts are made to alleviate the problems of the elderly through repeated communication, but the principle of educating children cannot be compromised.

The old people should solve it here, and the children should continue to discipline and not relax. Of course, don't tell children that the elderly are not good, which will make them rebellious. Disciplining children in the right way, so that the elderly can see the changes of children, the elderly will be more at ease and let go.

In addition, parents usually have no time to accompany their children during the day, and they should take over when they come back at night, so don't let the elderly take care of them. Parents arrange every minute to accompany their children, so that everyone is full, especially on weekends. Let children be closer to their parents, so that the implementation of discipline will be smoother.

Many parents can't take care of their children independently because of conditions, so they can only rely on the help of the elderly. This is an objective reality and may not be solved in a short time. Therefore, it is more important to communicate with the elderly in advance. Don't wait until the problem is serious.

Hello, I'm glad to answer your question.

This must be communicated with grandparents in advance and let the son tell his parents. If you protect and take care of the children at the same time, they will be very skilled and take advantage. He will automatically tend to help himself and think that there is nothing wrong with him.

The generation gap between the two generations is already very big, and now grandparents are also involved, and three generations will simply trigger a world war!

If you can, try not to live with your grandparents, which makes it difficult for them to get involved.

Whether this matter can be handled in this way is to either live separately or have a good talk with his (her) grandparents to clarify the relationship and let them know what to do in the future.