First of all, teachers and parents of young children are prone to differences in the communication process.
There are differences and contradictions in interpersonal communication. In the process of communication between teachers and parents of young children, due to their different economic, political and cultural backgrounds, different educational literacy levels, and different educational concepts, attitudes and methods. Therefore, they have different knowledge and understanding of children's problems, which leads to psychological differences and contradictions between the two sides. The main performance is as follows:
1 .. differences on children's educational ideas, attitudes and methods Some parents have different understandings of the purpose of early childhood education. Some parents think that kindergartens should learn more knowledge, recite more poems and do more arithmetic problems. They cannot just "play" and "play" without learning knowledge. They always ask their children, "What have they learned?" If the child can't answer, the parents will be dissatisfied; Some parents think, don't learn so much, just eat happily. Why is the child so tired? Some parents adopt very different educational methods for young children. Some are rude and tyrannical, simple in methods, believe in "stick" education, do not understand children's needs, often use orders to interfere and force children to obey, and tend to be authoritarian in education; Our teacher pays attention to the attitude and method of patient persuasion in democratic education. Some parents are afraid that their children will suffer. If they "educate" their children and other children to beat you, you will beat him and break his father to take him to see a doctor. Teachers should be humble to each other when educating their children. These are obviously contradictory to teachers' education, and these differences also hinder children's education. Some parents have different understandings of their children's role in life. Some parents regard their children as "the pillar of the family" and "the apple of their eye", fearing that their children will be tired, and adopt a conniving attitude towards them. Not only "spoil" his children, but also bring this kind of pet to kindergarten, especially asking teachers to "spoil" his children, "there are many things"; Teachers believe that to let children know their position in the family correctly, they should love labor, cultivate their independent living ability and guide them to make their own choices and decisions.
2. Disagreement on the attribution of problems in the process of children's growth.
The contradiction between teachers and parents of children is often caused by some problems in the process of students' growth. If some children's physical condition is always unsatisfactory, they will get sick as soon as they arrive at kindergarten, and some children have some bad behavior habits, which have been corrected many times and are still repeated. In this regard, teachers and parents may accuse each other of not educating their children well, and push the responsibility to each other without considering the specific situation. Parents may complain that teachers don't care enough about their children, while teachers will complain that parents love and indulge their children.
3. Differences in evaluation of children
The evaluation of children's development is also prone to differences. Parents often evaluate their children on the basis of looking at only one child, while teachers draw conclusions through comparison. Some parents have a higher evaluation of their children than teachers, and teachers may think that parents think that "perfect" children are ordinary; Some parents have lower evaluation of children than teachers. In the eyes of parents, children who hate iron and not produce steel may be considered good by teachers. In addition, children's performance often varies with different environments, and their performance at home is inconsistent with that in kindergarten. Sometimes teachers and parents lack mutual information, can not fully understand the situation of young children, and there are differences in evaluation. Parents know more about the situation outside the park, and teachers know more about the situation inside the park.
Second, how should teachers deal with interpersonal relationships with parents of young children?
1. Analyze psychological contrast and adjust psychological roles in time.
Many teachers find it easier to get along with children, but they often feel a little embarrassed when they get along with their parents. Why is this?
Generally speaking, teachers have an advantage psychology when they get along with children. Children's physical and mental development is still immature, and stable personality characteristics have not yet been formed, so children show great dependence and compliance on teachers. Children are simple, don't know how to get along with others, and are easily influenced by teachers. Teacher-child relationship is a relationship between adults and minors. Teachers are relaxed and have no burden in the process of getting along. Even if there are contradictions with children, it is easy to adjust and solve. Teachers are easy to control the relationship with children and occupy an advantageous position. Teachers have a favorable psychology.
When facing the parents of young children, the superior psychology of teachers is gone. Because parents are mature adults physically and psychologically, with rich life experience and considerable social experience, parents are much more complicated than children. The relationship between teachers and parents is a relationship between adults, which will make teachers have certain psychological pressure. In addition, as parents, they form a relatively stable world outlook and personality characteristics, have great independence, and pay more attention to equality with teachers. It is difficult for teachers to control the situation of getting along with their parents alone. Many teachers are not so confident when facing their parents. Teachers get along with parents and children completely differently, which is quite different.
Teachers often don't clearly realize this psychological contrast, lack of analysis and understanding of this psychological contrast, and can't adjust their psychological roles in time. Therefore, when facing their parents, they are prone to panic and tension, and often "encounter difficulties", which leads to some inadaptability and even conflicts.
2. Master the knowledge of family education and improve the prestige.
Education is a systematic project. To achieve the educational goal, teachers should not only understand the kindergarten education theory, but also understand the corresponding family education knowledge.
(1) Mastering the knowledge of family education is helpful to improve parents' respect and trust in teachers.
With the knowledge of family education, teachers will better report and analyze children's growth, development and shortcomings to parents, answer parents' questions about children, publicize some knowledge and methods of scientific parenting, analyze and point out some problems and doubts encountered by parents in the process of educating their children, and make suggestions to help parents solve specific difficulties, so as to improve parents' scientific parenting level and improve their respect and trust in teachers.
(2) Mastering family education knowledge is helpful to get close cooperation from parents.
In the traditional educational concept, children are regarded as passive, so parents are also regarded as passive. Teachers' home visits and parent-teacher conferences all guide parents from the perspective of teachers and ask them what to do and how to cooperate with kindergarten education. Parents often lack interest and enthusiasm. With the progress of society, parents' parenting level has generally improved. Teachers should put down their airs, encourage parents to participate in kindergarten education, affirm their good educational methods and actively adopt their reasonable suggestions. This will not only help teachers broaden their thinking, but also mobilize parents' initiative and enthusiasm, make parents interested in participating in early childhood education, make parents feel that their values are being used, and generate a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem, which is conducive to the formation of educational synergy, make kindergarten education get twice the result with half the effort, promote the cooperation between parents and teachers, and close family relations.
3. Play an active role in enhancing trust.
Any interpersonal relationship is interactive and affects each other. Teachers should play an active role in the process of communicating with parents and gain their trust in teachers, which is a vital part of parents' work.
(1) Take the initiative to introduce the situation and build emotional bridges.
When teachers and parents come into contact for the first time, they will inevitably feel unfamiliar. Therefore, teachers should take the initiative to establish mutual trust and introduce the situation of kindergartens to parents, and children's performances in kindergartens, such as children's health, emotions, behaviors and interpersonal relationships. And the recent activities and requirements of kindergartens, including some measures taken by teachers to solve children's problems. To tell parents, let parents know about kindergartens and teachers' intentions and methods.
(2) Take the initiative to eliminate concerns and avoid misunderstandings.
In fact, many parents send their children to kindergarten with "concerns" and have a lot of "concerns" about teachers. There are still many parents who are afraid of offending their teachers and dare not give their opinions. After all, the child wants the teacher to continue teaching. What if the teacher wants to retaliate against the child and give the child "little shoes to wear"? Wait a minute. In this regard, teachers should take the initiative to understand parents' concerns, try to figure out parents' thoughts, grasp the problems that need to be communicated, choose the right time and way, exchange views with parents openly, and eliminate concerns in time with practical actions, so as to gain parents' trust and reassure parents. When children happen unintentionally, they should take the initiative to tell their parents in time to make up for the shortcomings. Don't take any chances. If parents find problems and ask questions, teachers will be very passive and prone to misunderstanding, but parents will haggle over every ounce, and there is no small matter in their children.
(3) Actively communicate the situation and treat unreasonable opinions correctly.
The parents of young children are not completely ideal. Some parents don't respect teachers enough, are biased against kindergarten work, don't understand teachers' difficulties, some criticisms don't conform to the facts, and even put forward some selfish and unreasonable demands that teachers can't meet. In this regard, teachers should keep a cool head, put themselves in the other's shoes, actively communicate the situation, patiently explain the situation, frankly exchange views, clarify the facts, and obtain the understanding of parents.
4. Pay attention to the skills and methods of conversation and give parents enough respect.
In the process of communicating with parents, teachers often criticize, which is a thorny problem often encountered. How should teachers criticize students, especially parents? What are the key technologies?
(1) criticize alone to avoid hurting parents' feelings.
When teachers report to parents, it is usually in the afternoon when children leave the garden. At this time, there are many parents and children. If you don't pay attention, other children and parents will hear it and affect the effect of criticism. No matter how gentle the teacher's criticism is, if it is made in front of others, it may be very bad and may offend parents. Parents will think you are fooling him, which will easily hurt parents' feelings and cause bad consequences. Some parents may take it out on their children and beat and scold them when they get home, and some may cause emotional opposition between the two sides.
(2) Give the good news first, then the bad news.
Whether "right is wrong" or "wrong is right", parents should first understand their children's advantages and small progress, and should not be too lazy to say that "happiness" can not be simply understood as "what should be done", needless to say, but should say more and praise more. The good news shows that the teacher likes children, and then points out the problems patiently and sincerely. Don't criticize what you can remind.
(3) Put forward opinions with a consultative attitude and tone.
Criticism comes from outside, how to turn it into internal motivation? Turn blame into "consultation" and adopt consultative criticism. I'm not sure about this question. Can you tell me something about it? Can you tell me something about the children at home? "Try to take the attitude of consultation and discussion, give parents the initiative to find problems, listen to their opinions patiently, make parents feel that they are partners, and prove to their parents that you believe in his whole personality, so the effect is good. In fact, when criticizing not only parents, but everyone, we should adopt a "consultation" approach. When criticizing, don't pretend to be an education expert, don't use a commanding tone, an overbearing style, and say too many terms, giving people a feeling of being above others.
(4) Put forward constructive criticism.
When pointing out the existing problems, focus on the specific behavior and performance of children. When introducing children, it is better to describe what children have done than to summarize what they are like. When criticizing, we should seek truth from facts, not generalize, but criticize the behavior itself. We should not criticize and belittle children's personality value, nor should we blame them blindly. The purpose of criticism is to hope that children can make progress and improve, and the focus is on how to change and prevent recidivism. Teachers should analyze the reasons and put forward specific improvement methods. For example, why not, how to do it, why to do it, and how to deal with similar things.
(5) Try to reduce parents' defensive psychology.
If the teacher's criticism is to be effective, parents' defensive psychology must be reduced as much as possible. If parents realize that their mistakes will be reprimanded and blamed, then they will have a defensive reaction in advance. People who are psychologically prepared have built a solid wall in their hearts, blocking your reasons and becoming more stubborn. They tend to reject other people's opinions, which are easy to cause dissatisfaction and will not be well accepted. No matter how reasonable you say, you won't listen. In other words, people are especially wary of people who approach them for a certain purpose, and they will form a sense of self-protection and defense, instinctively close their hearts, refuse to communicate, and even refuse to criticize. But if we don't feel too much resistance, it's easy to change our minds. For example, before criticizing, the teacher said "Maybe I was wrong", or fully affirmed and praised parents and children to improve each other's self. However, if we improve on ..., we will go to by going up one flight of stairs. In this way, parents are often easy to accept teachers' criticism.
5. Abide by interpersonal ethics and maintain the noble personality of teachers.
(1) resist the erosion of bad social atmosphere and seek personal gain for parents without taking advantage of their position.
Some parents attach importance to their children's education, some are influenced by bad social atmosphere, or go with the flow and give gifts to teachers. Of course, some parents are moved by the teacher's sincere love for their children, and parents take the initiative to give things to the teacher. How should teachers deal with these problems? This is indeed a question worthy of serious consideration by every teacher. Under the condition of market economy, teachers should resist the erosion of bad social atmosphere, do not use their position to seek personal gain for parents, avoid telling parents what to do through children, and abide by the moral norms of interpersonal communication, otherwise it will not only reduce the prestige of teachers in the eyes of children and parents, but also affect the handling of children's problems. Teachers should keep their noble personality soberly, correct their own motives in the process of communicating with parents, and do not engage in "power and money" transactions to maintain the purity of the relationship between teachers and parents. This is the principle of communication between teachers and parents.
(2) Equal treatment, regardless of the status of parents.
Although the social roles of teachers and parents of young children are different, especially the social roles of parents are different. A teaching class generally has dozens of children, and parents' occupations and identities are different. Some parents of young children have higher education, occupation, income and social status than teachers, while others are ordinary workers or even laid-off workers. In fact, both ordinary workers and peasants, managers, "bosses" of companies and enterprises, and leaders of government agencies have only one identity in front of teachers, and they are all parents of young children. There is no difference in character between the two sides, and they can only communicate in the process of mutual understanding and respect. Neither side can take an attitude of being superior to the other. However, in any case, teachers should treat their parents equally, treat their parents equally, respect their parents equally and treat their parents equally. Don't be snobbish, don't "judge people", don't divide friends and relatives because of their status, and don't be humble.
(3) Teachers should respect parents of students and negotiate on an equal footing.
Teachers should put themselves in their shoes and be considerate of their parents' love for their children. Because teachers are teachers, they often have a sense of superiority, and they like to stick to their own views and be "good teachers" when things happen, which actually easily affects the relationship with parents. Teachers should take care of each other, truly understand parents' care for their children, consider parents' interests, and don't care too much about personal gains and losses. Teachers should also deal with the contradictions between parents of young children. Contradictions and conflicts between children are common in kindergartens. Often two children with problems are fine, but there are contradictions between parents. At this time, teachers should treat every parent with a normal heart, treat every parent with an equal attitude, and help handle the relationship between parents on the premise of mutual respect.
Teachers should educate children to love and respect their parents.
(1) Teachers should educate children to love and respect their parents and help improve their prestige.
Teachers teach children to respect their parents, which is an important aspect for children to distinguish right from wrong. Teachers should help children discover the qualities that parents make them proud and give play to the role of parents in educating their children. If teachers are good at improving parents' prestige in children's minds, they will also improve their own prestige and get parents' sincere support for teachers' work.
(2) Teachers can express their respect for their parents in a timely and appropriate way through the media of children.
On Women's Day, Mother's Day, Labor Day and other festivals, teachers consciously ask children to send cards, perform programs and sing a song to their parents. Let parents feel the teacher's respect and respect in their behavior.
(3) Teachers should not discuss parents' shortcomings in front of students and judge parents' right and wrong.
Even if children's teachers and parents have different views, we should pay attention to adopting appropriate methods, sincerely exchange views with parents, give enthusiastic guidance, and tactfully help parents improve their educational literacy according to their characteristics. Avoid discussing and judging parents with other teachers in front of children, and avoid quarreling with parents in front of children.
(4) For individual parents with problems, teachers should give their children enough guidance.
Of course, teaching children to respect their parents does not necessarily mean that children have to accept some bad influences from their parents. China is a country with underdeveloped education, and the overall quality of its citizens needs to be gradually improved. Children's ability to distinguish right from wrong is still relatively weak. In this regard, teachers should give children enough guidance.