A fourth-grade student wrote such a poem in his diary:
I was particularly moved when I first read this poem. The father of the child never comes home. The child has been wondering when he can go home to see his father. He wrote his deep thoughts in his diary, which made people sad!
Suddenly I had an idea, so I left an assignment and asked every child to read aloud to his parents when he got home.
As for this child, I specially asked him to read it to his father three times and let his father write down his feelings after listening. But the homework has been assigned for a week, and my father has no response at all. After two weeks, there is still no response.
At that time, as the head teacher, I sent him a text message saying, "Please write some homework comments." Dad said, "I know what you mean by asking me to write." But why don't you ask my son and see how he is now? "I said," I see. You can show that you understand this poem and the purpose and significance of my assignment. "
Through talking with this father, I deeply feel that parents still have high educational sensitivity, which also makes me feel extremely gratified for this child.
Related research shows that with the growth of children's age, the father's influence on children is increasing. The father's "absence" in children's education is not conducive to the long-term development of children's growth, but also increases the burden on mothers to a great extent and intensifies the emergence of family conflicts.
A student in Class 3 (5) wrote in his diary:
Sometimes I think, it's really not easy for parents now. What are they busy with? What is more important than the growth of children?
According to the relevant survey, the division of family education was investigated by using four indicators 14, such as tutoring children to learn, cultivating children's specialties, sending them to and from school, holding parent-teacher meetings, cultivating children's daily behavior habits, correcting children's bad behaviors, teaching children to distinguish right from wrong, taking children to hospital when they are sick, buying daily necessities for children, helping children when they are in trouble, appeasing children when they are unhappy, playing games with children and chatting with children. The statistical results show that "mom-oriented" accounts for 43.2%, "dad-oriented" accounts for 10.8%, "parents share" accounts for 39.9% on average, "grandparents do it by others" accounts for 2.6%, and "nobody does it" accounts for 3.5%.
It can be seen that when children play, read, do homework, exercise, communicate, travel, celebrate birthdays or holidays, parents spend more time with their children, while mothers spend more time with their children than fathers.
In many families, where did my father go-"I have a good father, but I have never seen him". Dad was away from home for a long time because he had to go on a business trip, which led to the lack of the de facto father role.
The absence of father's role has a negative impact on children's growth, which is manifested in the following three aspects:
1. When a child has an absent father, he will live in a world of anxious mothers for a long time. It is common for mothers to be cautious, meticulous and overly fond of their children's education. Because they are afraid of accidents, they often limit their behavior and space. At the same time, as compensation for the lack of fatherly love, we should accommodate our children in everything and try our best to meet their demands, whether reasonable or unreasonable. Unconsciously doting and conniving can easily form the bad habit of children's selfishness.
2. When anxious mothers nag repeatedly, make decisions for their children, and even scold them hysterically, it is easy for children to develop the herd mentality of obeying orders, the personality is too mature, and the children's psychology is generally sensitive and fragile, and rebellious behavior in adolescence often occurs prematurely.
3. Education does not have the parent-child interaction of father's love, and children can't feel the influence of their father's brave, tough, masculine and atmospheric qualities, which will make children form some personality characteristics of anxiety, inferiority, sentimentality, loneliness and timidity, leaving a lack and regret in character shaping.
How to be a good father? As a father, you must be responsible for the future of your children; As a father, it is the responsibility to sow good qualities such as courage, great love, self-confidence and strength into children's hearts.
1. A father should be a good father first. Fathers are an important source of knowledge to gradually help children form gender cognition. When the role of father appears in children's lives, children will naturally learn from their fathers. From observing his voice and smile to observing his eating, drinking, bathing and sleeping, children learn different teaching materials from their mothers.
We all say: maternal love is like water, delicate and soft, and paternal love is like a mountain, rough and heroic. What children get from their father is a completely different feeling of love and a completely opposite personality charm from their mother. Father's brave, tough, masculine, atmospheric and other qualities will give children strong psychological support. Without these experiences, children's ability to resist setbacks will be discounted.
2. Fathers should also learn to make friends with their children. There is a famous saying: squat down and talk to children. It means that the relationship between parents and children is equal. Only by communicating with children on an equal footing will children treat you as a friend.
If the father is busy all day, even if he can't go home to accompany his children every day, he will take a few minutes to video with them and talk to them about the interesting things that happened today, and the children's learning pressure will disappear with the laughter on both sides of the camera; When the child is hurt inside, he dares to tell his father. As a faithful listener of children, he asked the children his own solution to this matter with questioning words and gave his own suggestions. On weekends or holidays, fathers can put aside the tedious work, build trees, fly kites, buy books, play ball games, or go for an outing by bike with their children, making family education full of fun.
Father should keep his promise and set an example.
(1) Build a harmonious family relationship, where the husband and wife love each other and don't quarrel in front of the children, so that the children feel that their parents are big trees and the family is the backer. Children grow up in a harmonious and orderly family, and they will build a higher-level family in the future.
(2) Keep your word, do what you say, keep your word, and make promises to your children. Even if it is a reward, you can't play around and lose your child's trust and admiration.
(3) Become a learning parent, learn with children synchronously, and let children feel that learning is something that a person must do every day. It is necessary to discuss with the child the problems he has encountered in his study. When children do their homework, they can read beside them. Don't play mobile phone and watch TV by yourself, let alone play mahjong and drink with others at home, and give them a relatively quiet learning environment.
(4) Set an example, dare to take responsibility, and take the initiative to review with your family when making mistakes. Be enthusiastic about people and things around you, be kind to others, take pleasure in helping others, be sincere to others, be filial to the elderly, respect their loved ones, live in harmony with neighbors, and set a good example for children.
(5) Abide by the family schedule, do not be lazy, and maintain family rules. A father should do what his children are asked to do first.
Conclusion: companionship itself is an education. Father loves mountains and mother love the water. Parental love, such as the unity of heaven and earth, accompanied by mountains and rivers. Father's love conveys the meaning and value of life to children; Fatherly love can teach children to cope with and solve various life problems, so that children's will and wisdom can be best developed. A father who is better than other men, at least better than his mother, must be an idol that children love and worship. A strong and gentle father can not only give children a full sense of security, but also be as warm as sunshine, and accompany them to grow up happily and healthily.