1. Good parents are learned.
There are no parents who are naturally successful, and there are no parents who don't need to learn. Successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement.
I have come into contact with so many excellent parents, and none of them has succeeded in teaching their children easily.
An excellent mother even said: Many people think I am relaxed and say that your children are so excellent, and I don't care at all. As we all know, I even sleep with one eye open at night!
A good mother nip in the bud, and an unqualified mother is a child whose problem is so serious that even the teacher has talked to the child, and she has not realized the existence of the problem.
China's first outstanding mother, Comrade Shen Liping, was a painter.
In order to learn painting, she not only went to college, but also went to the Central Academy of Arts and Crafts for further study. I not only bought books, but also visited numerous art exhibitions and listened to numerous academic reports.
However, she never realized that it takes time to raise children. She didn't really learn to be a mother until her child was severely disabled by a plane crash. Thanks to her own efforts, she finally helped her children overcome their disabilities and became the "China hero" praised by the Norwegian people.
2 1 century, the information society requires more and more people's quality, and any post needs training and assessment. However, it seems that only children are born, and without education, it seems that they will automatically take up their posts and will never be laid off. In fact, this understanding is wrong.
Everyone should learn relevant knowledge before becoming a parent. The sooner you prepare your awareness and knowledge of how to be a parent, the better.
2. Good children are taught.
I have contacted hundreds of excellent parents. They have one thing in common, that is, they have made great efforts in educating their children, just like Shen Liping. If she said it herself, people would not have thought that she had put so much effort into the growth of her son Wang Jiapeng.
Her colleagues and friends all said: you did everything to the extreme except that the plane fell at that time, and you didn't delay the children. But how difficult it is to do this!
Some people may say that so many parents who don't know a word are also educating their children. In fact, illiteracy is not uneducated, and these parents are also experts in educating their children.
The program "Focus Interview" once introduced the story of An Jinpeng, a gold medal winner of Olympic mathematics for middle school students in the world: his family was extremely poor, and he was admitted to a key middle school, but he had no money. His father said that his children have to go to work, and they have never worked in college, let alone whether you can go to college.
But my mother resolutely disagreed and sold the only donkey in the family. The child is the only one in middle school who can't even afford vegetarian food, and the only one who can't even afford soap.
So the children are all by themselves? When asked face to face, I realized that although the mother didn't even graduate from elementary school, she let her children learn the four operations thoroughly before elementary school.
How many parents who graduated from college can do this?
3. Good habits are cultivated.
Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, the teachers and the children themselves, not themselves.
In fact, most of children's habits, whether good or bad, are cultivated by our parents intentionally or unintentionally.
Just as Shanghainese speak Shanghainese and eat Shanghainese food, Sichuanese speak Sichuanese and eat Sichuan food, as if they were born untrained, but this is not the case.
My parents have been teaching so much that they don't realize that they are teaching. This is "hidden education", which is much more powerful than "explicit education".
Most excellent children are the result of quality education, while problem children is the product of problem families. Most of the children's problems are not caused by the children themselves, but reflect the parents' problems. Parents are often the biggest maker of children's problems and the biggest obstacle for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings.
The urgent task is not to educate children, but to educate parents. Without the change of parents, there will be no change of children. There are no children who don't want to learn well, only children who can't learn well, no children who can't educate well, and only parents who can't educate.
Therefore, scold yourself before scolding your child, and beat yourself before hitting your child. Only in this way can you completely change yourself.
4. Good grades are helpful.
The whole society should have a correct understanding of quality education and exam-oriented education.
Examination-oriented education is an unavoidable problem for both schools and parents, and it needs to be adapted by both schools and parents. There is no contradiction between exam-oriented ability education and quality education, and quality education without exam-oriented ability is not real quality education.
According to statistics, there are nearly 10 million "idle" minors in China. The so-called idle minors refer to children who should have studied at school instead of studying and chose to drop out of school. Among them, 94% is the result of academic failure, and falling behind in school, being tired of learning, playing truant and leaving home have become the four steps of juvenile delinquency today.
Therefore, it has become our parents' duty to help children adapt to exam-oriented education, and the best way to help children reduce their burdens is to make our parents increase their burdens, that is, to make our parents become their children's mentors.
Of course, good grades are brought out by school teachers, but today, with the fierce competition in exam-oriented education, these good grades are more and more soaked in the sweat of parents.
5. Good communication is all heard.
For parents whose children enter junior high school, there is a general confusion that it is difficult to communicate with their children.
There are more contradictions between adolescent children and menopausal mothers, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, both of them are under great external pressure. Children are under pressure to enter a higher school, and mothers are under pressure from their careers and need more communication.
Most excellent parents do well in this respect, and their good communication comes from consciously following these three principles:
The first step is to listen, that is, let the children speak out and understand the true meaning of their words.
The second step is understanding, that is, whether it makes sense to think from the child's point of view, and the result is often reasonable.
The third step is advice, that is, a reasonable child may not take the right action, so parents should give advice here.
Of these three steps, listening is the worst for parents.
Every child grows up with problems, and every parent grows up with problems. Children who don't have problems can't be found, and parents who don't have problems can't be found. The key is to calm down and find a solution to the problem like those excellent parents.
6. Good grades are made.
Intelligence is not the most important thing, what is more important than intelligence is will, what is more important than will is mind, and what is more important than mind is a person's character.
Unfortunately, fewer and fewer people pay attention to morality now, so it is inappropriate to talk about moral education with parents.
As for a person's mind and ambition, it is an overseas anecdote that our parents don't want to hear, because it has nothing to do with the current exam results!
In fact, these are the most important things in one's growth.
When reading biographies, we are often deeply moved by the extraordinary performance of the arranger in childhood, because this achievement motivation has a great influence on a person.
The most important factors, such as will, mind and morality, are not through "explicit education" such as parents' preaching, but through parents' behavior, that is, "implicit education", which enters the child's flesh and blood and can produce results.
Besides setting an example, the best way for children to develop a big mind is to let them read more famous books and biographies of great men, and let them learn to look at society and themselves from the perspective of great men.