Source: China Newsweek.
The appearance of chastity concept is inseparable from the development of private ownership. After the establishment of monogamy, in order to safeguard private property and family interests, men require that the heir must be their own blood relatives, and "illegitimate children" should not rob their own property. Therefore, in order to ensure the legitimate heir of the property owned by the person born, men will inevitably make demands on women, and the concept of chastity will arise. In the process of human marriage changing to mixed form, the cruel custom of "killing the leader" even appeared in some places to ensure the property and family inheritance rights of children of the same family, which is also a means to strengthen private ownership. But when the concept of chastity first appeared, it was not as strict as later generations. Lv Simian said in his book "The History of China System": "It is extremely free to establish an ancient international conference between men and women. Although bound by etiquette, it cannot be changed overnight. " It has a historical development process from scratch and from leniency to strictness.
As far as China is concerned, the concept of chastity in the pre-Qin period was relatively gentle. Although there is a place in the Book of Rites where a husband dies and never marries, there are not many requirements before marriage, which is just a loose ethical thought and has not become a universal social psychology. The concept of chastity developed in Qin and Han Dynasties. Liu Xiang, a Confucian scholar in the Han Dynasty, compiled Biography of a Heroic Woman, and Ban Zhao, a female saint, wrote Women's Commandments, which set norms for women, among which "chastity" and "chastity" were important contents. In 53 1 year, Emperor Wendi of Emperor Gaozu of Sui Dynasty issued a decree: "If the wife has more than nine grades and the concubine has more than five grades, the husband may not remarry when he dies." This is the first time in the history of China that some widows are forbidden to remarry by law.
The concept of chastity really took root in people's hearts after the Song Dynasty. Under the vigorous advocacy of Zhou Dunyi, Er Cheng, Zhu and other science masters, the preaching of "keeping nature and destroying human desires" and "starving to death is minimal and discrediting is great" has gradually become people's spiritual shackles. In the Yuan and Ming Dynasties, the concept of chastity was pushed to the extreme. Not only can women not participate in sexual indecency, but even their skin and arms can't be in contact with other men except their husbands. During Yuan Dade's reign, there was a widow Ma Shi who was born with a choice, fearing that men would die without medical treatment. Yuan Mingshan wrote a biography of a virgin horse, which greatly appreciated it. It was not until the late Qing Dynasty and the early Republic of China that scholars and intellectuals criticized the feudal concept of chastity from the perspective of equality between men and women and the pursuit of personal freedom.
If advocating chastity before marriage is to make teenagers pay attention to safety and be more cautious in sexual behavior, it is actually of positive significance. However, Zhejiang University's "swearing chastity network" and "premarital chastity class" are all one-sided sex education. The announcement on the online gambling chastity website reads: "Only when a man finds a virgin can he give birth to a child who belongs to his truly pure genes. On the first night of a virgin, a man's sperm enters the body and autolysis occurs. The children of women and husbands may be like men's first night in the future. " Many premarital chastity education equates premarital sex with promiscuity, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, which is totally threatening education.
Fang Gang, a sexologist, once summed up three characteristics of threatening education: First, talking about negative information about sex will make people sick. Some videos are full of threats of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. Second, exaggerate negative information about sex. It seems that as long as there is premarital sex, there must be tragedy. There are even individual cases that 80% of people who have premarital sex will get divorced after marriage. Third, stealing the concept of premarital sex. Facts have proved that if two people love each other, premarital sex can be very safe. Under the threat of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, premarital sex seems to be "promiscuity", multiple sexual partners and high risk. ...
Sex education has always been an embarrassing existence in China. Many teenagers can't get sexual information from formal channels, but rely on the internet, pornography or some books to get sexual knowledge, which is not conducive to their correct understanding of sex. However, blindly emphasizing chastity and threatening education before marriage are not conducive to cultivating correct sexual concepts. The focus of sex education is not chastity, but a correct treatment of "sex". It should not be a kind of "sex taboo education", but should pay attention to the sexual rights of every member of society on the premise of fully paying attention to social order.
To really protect teenagers' sexual safety, we should focus on "treating sex responsibly", "good contraceptive measures" and "emphasizing the principle of self-respect and self-love". The sexual principle of self-respect and self-love is not chastity, but: 1, when you don't like it, don't make love to please the other person, and 2, don't make love in a way that may hurt you. Some people say that premarital sex will do harm to women, but it is actually a confusing concept. Unsafe sex will do harm to women, and it has little to do with marriage.
Even the United States, which is generally regarded as "sexually open", has conducted premarital Chastity Education on a large scale. Between 1996 and the 2005 federal fiscal year, Congress injected1500 million dollars into the premarital abstinence program through the federal and state governments. However, according to the investigation of the American Government Reform Commission, 80% of the information in the 10 USD 1 100 million premarital chastity plan is wrong, which exaggerates the failure rate of contraceptive measures and fails to spread the knowledge of AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Teenagers have many sexual problems and need the help of specialized institutions, but abstinence education greatly discounts such institutions. The pregnancy rate, delivery rate and gonorrhea rate of teenage girls in the United States have been high. After Obama took office, he had to suspend this sex education program of abstinence before marriage. A survey commissioned by the US Congress was released in 2007. The report shows that American students who attend specialized abstinence education courses do not show more restraint in sexual behavior and concepts than those who do not participate in related education programs.
In contrast, the Nordic sex education model may be preferable. Nordic teenagers start having sex early and have many sexual partners, but their pregnancy rate and sexually transmitted diseases infection rate are the lowest in the world, because their sex education begins in kindergarten, and teenagers have mastered enough sexual knowledge to solve their sexual impulses and minimize their injuries. A Danish teacher who is engaged in sex education in middle schools said that in 1995, the Danish Ministry of Education decided to offer sex education courses in normal colleges, and later expanded the scope to high schools, with remarkable results. 15 to 19-year-old women's fertility rate and abortion rate have dropped sharply. Almost no Danish teenagers suffer from AIDS because of sex, and few people get sexually transmitted diseases. This confirms the findings of the World Health Organization in several countries: proper sex education will not lead to premature sex, but will delay sex or make sex safer.
The "old social tradition" of advocating chastity before marriage does not conform to the reality of modern society. In ancient times, men and women got married very early, and most people got married at the age of 14 or 15. In addition, due to underdeveloped contraceptive measures, people often remain chaste before marriage. Even men and women in modern society have basically no sexual experience at the age of 14 or 15. However, at present, the legal age of marriage is not earlier than 22 years for men and 20 years for women. People tend to marry later, whether it is advocated by the state or because of personal work and life considerations. Moreover, it takes about ten years for people to reach the legal age of marriage from adolescence, and more and more people are getting married late, so it is unrealistic to ask everyone to keep their virginity. The advance of physical development age, the proliferation of "sex culture" in society and the progress and perfection of contraceptive measures all make "premarital sex" not unacceptable.
The reason why premarital sex is realistic is not only because of the existence of "sexual need", but because it is actually harmless as a social trend. A survey of married women by Playboy magazine in the early 1970s showed that only 3 1% of the people over 55 had premarital sex, while the proportion of the youngest group had premarital sex was as high as 8 1%. The most extreme figure comes from Sweden, where the proportion of men and women who have had premarital sex is as high as 95%. In those countries where premarital sex has become the behavior of most people, it is hard to think that it is still a violation of social norms. Because the so-called norm is the code of conduct of most people. Once a certain behavior becomes the practice of most people, it should not be considered as a violation of social behavior norms. According to a survey conducted by Pan Suiming, a professor at the Institute of Sexual Sociology of Renmin University of China, from the age of 20 to 5, the tolerance for premarital sex decreased by 10%.
Sex is first and foremost a kind of freedom and choice. At least the freedom and choice of adults. As long as they are adults, everyone has the right to sexual autonomy and should not be interfered by others. Tuyou's choice to be a "chastity goddess" is her own personal choice, and others have no right to interfere, but she can't interfere with others' sexual autonomy. Men in China have a "virgin complex" more or less, which will also have an impact when choosing a spouse. These are personal values, and others can recognize them or reserve their opinions. What we need to be wary of is that this kind of "asceticism education" actually occupies the moral high ground, claiming that "all the girls who have premarital sex are bad girls". Chastity is the right of personal choice, and this right should be respected.
In the old society, women had no independent status, but depended on men. They are just accessories of a family, a husband and even a son. In fact, many parents are still instilling this tradition in their children. Many parents think that the most important thing for a woman in this life is to marry a good family, "and if she loses her virginity, she loses her competitiveness." At the same time, many men have a strong "virgin complex", and cases of cold violence by their husbands after marriage are endless. "Chastity before marriage" is not only an interest factor, but also a legacy of patriarchal social thought. Moreover, since ancient times, "chastity before marriage" has emphasized that women should lead an honest and clean life, and there are few requirements for men, which is obviously gender discrimination.
The essence of marriage is a contractual relationship, which regulates each other's rights and obligations, and is not as lofty as described by moral defenders. In marriage, men and women are equal. Premarital sex can sometimes determine whether marriage is "sexual". The concept of "chastity before marriage" is still very popular. The fundamental reason is that many women still think that women keep chastity in order to please men after marriage, and win men's favor with chastity after marriage to maintain family stability. This is actually giving up the equal status on its own initiative. In fact, self-respecting women should not blame themselves for this, but should stay away from men with backward ideas. Mr. Lu Xun once said that if the issue of chastity is placed in a very important position, how can widowed and divorced women survive?
China people, bound by history and culture, have always openly despised their bodies and pursued moral perfection and spiritual loftiness. Sex, as the most powerful manifestation of physical existence, has never been cut off. Autocratic culture is often afraid of people's desires and body revelry, and sex is the ultimate expression of this body revelry. The existence of sex enlarges the meaning of human life. Both the traditional feudal society and the western asceticism in the middle ages are essentially the extinction of human nature.
Since private ownership, the powerful class has always been in a strong position in the possession of resources by virtue of its means of subsistence and power. In a male-dominated society, women as sexual resources are distributed by men. Once the distribution of sexual resources by all social strata is unfair, it will lead to social conflicts. In order to retain vested interests and alleviate the contradiction in the distribution of sexual resources, the elite must hold high "ethics" and let ordinary people "self-control and self-respect" and restrain their sexual needs. Therefore, the banner of chastity before marriage will be held high by the "mainstream class (king, or ruling political interest groups and religious upper class)". (Text/Short Man)
(This article Source: China News Weekly)