To be a qualified and good parent, the door of wisdom needs a key to open. It is important to relieve children's stress properly. They all say "I will be you when I grow up", spend more time with my children, and share it with you below to be a qualified good parent. I hope it works for you!
Be a qualified good parent 1 1, and parents should not quarrel when children are present;
2. Give every child the same love;
3. Mutual humility and understanding between parents;
At any time, parents should not lie to their children;
5. Maintain close relationship between parents and children;
Parents should welcome their children's friends to visit.
7. Parents should try their best to answer the questions raised by their children;
8. In front of the child's friends, parents should not say the child's fault;
9, pay attention to observe and praise the advantages of children, don't overemphasize the shortcomings of children;
10, love for children should be stable, don't lose your temper easily.
The above requirements of 10 require children to set an example for their parents, and also require children to educate their parents. From 65438 to 0984, the National Children's Working Committee issued an initiative to parents all over the country to carry out good parenting activities nationwide and put forward five standards:
1, strive to improve their ideological and moral quality and be a good example for their children.
2. Actively participate in the activities of parents' schools and learn the scientific knowledge of raising, cultivating and educating children.
3, love children, patiently induce, do not let go, do not spoil, do not snore.
4. Actively cooperate with schools (nurseries and kindergartens) to do a good job in children's education, and parents in rural areas should ensure that school-age children enter school.
5. Cultivate children's all-round development in morality, intelligence, physique, beauty and labor. It has been more than ten years since the initiative was issued, and it still has guiding significance for parents. According to the requirements of the times, the deepening of family education and the hope of children, this paper talks about how to be a competent parent and parents.
First, strive to improve their own quality until they set an example.
Parents, as children's first teachers, should be role models. As the old saying goes, a man of integrity needs orders; His body is not straight, although he disobeys. Without correct behavior, parents can't exercise their right to education. Parents' role models are closely related to themselves. Some people say that parents' qualities-knowledge, knowledge, morality, self-cultivation and talent-are like magma under a volcano. The thicker and fuller they accumulate, the more explosive their children will become. Here, the quality of parents mainly refers to the quality of ideological and moral quality, cultural and scientific knowledge, psychological quality and health, and the ability to educate children. To improve the quality of parents, we should start from the following aspects:
(A) efforts to improve the ideological and moral level
When children grow up, every move, word and deed of parents have a subtle influence on their character and moral development. Parents first require themselves to have noble morality, ideals and a positive outlook on life; Have a high sense of responsibility for the country, the people and the cause; Abide by the law and society; Public morality pays attention to civility and courtesy, decent style, integrity, distinguishing right from wrong, being open-minded, selfless and helpful. Preschool children are an important period when people's personality and morality begin to form. During this period, children's brain nerve activity has great plasticity. Because children are curious, imitative, curious and curious, they are easily influenced by the outside world. At this time, the exemplary role of parents is very important. That is, the external behavior of parents is the way children learn. People often say: you see, this child walks exactly like his parents, which shows that parents' behavior is an example for children to learn. Sun Jingxiu doyen once said to his parents, "Children's eyes are cameras and their brains are tape recorders. Your words and deeds are engraved in their hearts, so set an example! The power of example is infinite, and it has strong persuasiveness and appeal. Parents' manners are elegant and generous, and so will their children. Parents' vulgar manners are bound to have a bad influence on their children. In a kindergarten, this happened. A little boy likes to hug and kiss little girls. When the teacher corrected his behavior, the little boy looked at the teacher doubtfully and said, "My father is their mother, too. "As can be seen from the behavior of the little boy, the parents' behavior is too intimate in front of the children regardless of the occasion, and the result is imitated by the children. If parents can consciously abide by social morality, maintain public health, and put the peels in the sanitary box after eating fruits and vegetables, children will also develop this habit of maintaining public health. And some adults are informal, spitting and littering, and so are children.
(b) Strive to improve the level of cultural, scientific and technical knowledge.
As the saying goes: teacher, to give students a glass of water, you must have a bucket of water. It is impossible for parents to use the professional level requirements of regular teachers, because parents have different life experiences, different educational levels, or even far apart. I am afraid it is unrealistic to force parents to have a certain educational level and the ability of kindergarten teachers. But in today's era, culture and technology are increasingly developed, and knowledge is constantly updated. Even people with high academic qualifications will not keep up with the requirements of the times if they don't continue to study, and their knowledge is aging. Children's thirst for knowledge is quite strong, and they often ask some strange questions to adults to get satisfactory answers, thus reducing their prestige in the eyes of children invisibly. Parents should be good at learning and make themselves a good teacher of children's knowledge, which not only sets a good example for children, but also protects their enthusiasm for learning and improves themselves. The cultural quality of parents also has a great influence on the education of children's first quality. Many criminal cases reflect that legal illiteracy is often accompanied by ignorance and illiteracy. According to a survey of 5350 juvenile offenders, 82.9% of them have received primary education and only 4.5% have received higher education. In a juvenile class in China University of Science and Technology, 70% of the students come from intellectual families.
(C) to have a good psychological quality
Psychological quality mainly refers to people's personality characteristics such as personality, emotion, will and interest, as well as their self-regulation ability in dealing with interpersonal relationships. For children, parents are the closest people, and parents' emotions are very infectious to children. If parents laugh, children will dance with joy; When parents are angry, children will be frightened, at a loss, and even cry. Parents' emotions have a direct influence on the formation of children's character.
Some children are stubborn, some are docile, some are impatient, some are sensitive, and so on, all related to their parents' emotions. Parents should have a cheerful personality, be kind, compassionate, amiable and maintain a normal and stable mood, which is very beneficial for children to form a healthy mood from an early age. Children who grow up in this spiritual atmosphere are generally in a state of mind that accidents can happen correctly around them, and they are calm and have strong resilience.
Parents should also have patient and meticulous psychological quality in the implementation of family education. There is a famous saying abroad: Everyone can cultivate their children into "two of a kind" giants (Edison and Einstein), depending on your patience, confidence and determination. Edison, an inventor with more than 1000 inventions, was once dismissed as an idiot by his teacher. Einstein, the greatest scientist in the 20th century, was ordered to drop out of school at the age of 12 because of "mental retardation". Their parents did not lose confidence in education because of their children's stupidity, but developed their children's intelligence with great patience, laying a solid foundation for the brilliant cause of "two loves". In real daily life, it is often seen that some parents lack patience and care when educating their children. They often scold and scold children because they can't understand the intentions of adults. The voices of "stupid pig" and "idiot" are endless, and children's inferiority complex and rebellious psychology are produced under this educational method.
Parents should also have a strong personality, dare to face difficulties, be good at solving problems with their brains, and never give up until they reach their goals, which is very necessary for forming children's strong personality and courage to overcome setbacks.
In addition, parents should also have various interests. The interest mentioned here refers to parents' participation in various activities beneficial to physical and mental health after work, such as piano, chess, books, painting, playing ball games, taking pictures and so on. , so that family life is colorful and full of vitality, which is not only conducive to mental health, but also to physical health, and is more conducive to cultivating children's positive outlook on life and communication and interpersonal skills.
Second, seriously study family education knowledge and improve children's education level.
Family education is a multidisciplinary comprehensive pedagogy, involving a wide range of contents, including psychology, pedagogy, ethics, aesthetics, hygiene, nutrition and so on. Gorky said that educating children is not an easy task. "It is a great event for the country to be good at educating them, which requires talent and profound knowledge of life." For parents, everyone is not required to be an education expert, but parents are required to understand the growth and development laws of their children and often do things that violate the laws of education, causing adverse effects, such as preschool children, between the ages of 3 and 7. Curious, they are often full of naive fantasies, often ask their parents some strange questions, and even do some behaviors that make adults incredible. Some behaviors are often destructive. Adults must not rashly accuse them of "fooling around", "making trouble" or even beating and scolding children. We should see that it is likely to breed seeds of creative personality, and give correct encouragement and guidance to make it wait for reasonable development. For example, some children like to take apart the electric toys or tape recorders at home, which is out of curiosity. Parents who understand this feature will correctly guide and stimulate their children's curiosity, cultivate their children's interest in exploring knowledge from an early age, and lay the foundation for their love of learning in the future. And some parents, because they don't understand their children's psychology, often take the form of reprimanding and beating and cursing, which stifles the bud of their children's creative personality. I remember a famous person once said: In your snoring, there is no Edison, no Einstein, no Witt. For another example, early childhood is the best time for oral English development. It will be the wisest thing for parents to pay attention to cultivating their children's oral English ability in this period, and some parents force their children to write Chinese characters and do arithmetic, which will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but will dampen their enthusiasm for learning and make them feel disgusted with learning when they enter school age. It can be said that haste makes waste. Its negative effects are hard to eliminate. Parents should fully understand their children's psychological and physiological characteristics, master their personality, and proceed from reality to teach students in accordance with their aptitude. Therefore, parents should take time to learn some knowledge about family education. For example, China family education, parents must read, family education.
Publications such as For Children and Early Childhood Education are good teachers and friends for parents. The Family Education Literature, edited and published by Urumqi Women's Federation and Urumqi Family Education Research Institute, absorbs the essence of reading materials from all over the country, and at the same time reflects the family education information in Xinjiang, especially Urumqi, and reflects the voices of parents and children. It is a bridge between parents and children. Parents can learn family education methods and experiences through it, which is a shortcut to learn family education knowledge.
In addition, parents should actively participate in parent school activities, listen to lectures, and exchange experiences with parents of children of the same age, which is very beneficial to improve the level of education for children.
Third, update the concept of success, clarify the training objectives, and let children develop in an all-round way.
What kind of people will be cultivated is a concern of every parent. Zhejiang Daily reported that in a survey, 92.7% of parents wanted their children to get a college degree. This high expectation reflects the misunderstanding of the concept of success by parents today. Because of this, parents live very tired. Many parents designed a brilliant road for their children before their birth, attending key kindergartens, key primary schools, key middle schools and famous universities, and studying abroad until they became famous. After the child is born, especially in early childhood, parents are busy running around in various classes. They sometimes let their children learn piano and electronic organ, sometimes let their children learn painting, and sometimes let their children learn calligraphy ... Some parents regard their children as private property, and their children are proud of their ancestors. In order to achieve this goal, they may be stimulated by materials or educated by sticks, so that young children hope to retire like their grandparents. Psychological research shows that moderate expectations are the healthy growth and normal development of children, and even lead to tragedy. A worker surnamed Hu in Nanjing kicked his three-year-old son to death because he couldn't recite Tang poetry. Children sometimes hurt their fingers to avoid practicing the piano. These lessons should arouse parents' deep thinking. Parents should renew their concept of success.
1in may, 1996, vice premier Li Lanqing said during an inspection of quality education in Miluo city, Hunan province: the country needs talents in various fields. "But the talent structure of any country is pagoda-shaped, with junior talents, intermediate talents and senior talents at different levels. The structure must be reasonable, and junior and intermediate talents are the best in any country at any time. He also said: "Only people with all-round development are the most useful people to society, so our education should adhere to the principle of all-round development of morality, intelligence and physique. "He believes that only those who are mentally healthy, open-minded, organized and practical, have a correct outlook on life, world outlook, values and morality, and are in good health will contribute to society and develop in an all-round way. The society is rich and colorful, and the talents needed are multi-faceted and multi-level. As far as the current social needs are concerned, only 6-7% of peers can go to college, so it is impossible and unnecessary for every child to become a college student and a researcher in cutting-edge science. Everyone's innate quality and acquired influence are different. Some people are suitable to develop in high-tech fields, while others are suitable to play their own characteristics in ordinary jobs. Parents should adapt to the needs of the country, establish the idea of being a national teacher, and design a practical future for their children according to their own conditions. As the old saying goes: seventy-three lines, each line is the best. Even in the ordinary service industry, we can still cultivate skilled craftsmen with extraordinary hands, such as unemployed chefs; A famous teacher in a beauty salon; Senior fashion designers who are unemployed are not necessarily from famous universities, but are often self-taught. Mao Zedong, a great politician, theorist, writer, poet and calligrapher, never went to university for further study, while Mr. Lu Xun, a famous thinker and writer, studied medicine. They all show it through their own growth experiences; You don't have to squeeze into the wooden bridge leading to the university to become a talent. Parents should place moderate expectations on their children according to China's national conditions, social needs and their own conditions, cultivate their children's interests, let nature take its course and educate their children to develop in an all-round way.
Fourth, create a good family atmosphere.
The so-called atmosphere refers to people's environmental atmosphere and emotional appeal, which is a certain psychological mood and environmental atmosphere produced by people's mutual influence and restriction in a certain environment. Family atmosphere is also the psychological mood and environmental atmosphere formed by family members in the process of mutual influence and restriction in the environment, including: living environment, lifestyle, lifestyle, life interest, traditional habits, moral norms, dealing with people and so on. Good family atmosphere. Can make children lively, cheerful, generous, studious, honest, humble, gregarious, knowledgeable, love labor, clean, punctual and trustworthy; Bad family atmosphere will make children timid, suspicious, selfish, jealous, lonely, lazy, laissez-faire, rude and vulgar, because children often regard their parents as the closest and most direct imitation objects in the process of adapting to the family environment, forming their own psychological set and personality characteristics. The quality of family atmosphere is an important related factor of children's psychological and behavioral health level. Parents should create a good family atmosphere for their children from the following aspects:
(A) a good living environment
Family is a basically fixed place for people to live, and most of their life is spent in the family. Children can't live without families. First of all, parents should create a good living environment for their children. Although each family's economic level and housing conditions are different, its layout standards can't be forced, but the room layout is neat, elegant and harmonious, so that children can live in a comfortable, quiet and warm family. Some families don't pay attention to environmental layout and cleanliness. The furniture in the home is messy and dirt can be seen everywhere, giving people a feeling of nowhere to go. This environment is not conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind. Other parents, despite their superior economic conditions and modern home decoration, forgot to give their children a game world. Some parents pay great attention to cleanliness, and they impose too many restrictions on their children. They are not allowed to play here and sit there, which greatly restricts their children's movements. This is not desirable.
(2) Good working hours and living habits
Families should form a relatively fixed life schedule, including rest, eating, entertainment, work and study. Every family member should consciously abide by it. In the long run, it will promote the formation of time concept, lay a foundation for the formation of good social conduct in kindergartens and schools, consciously abide by collective discipline, maintain social order and pay attention to social morality. Although some families have made schedules for their children, parents regard themselves as outsiders, some even play mahjong and drink cards all night, some indulge in watching video and TV and forget their normal schedules, and some indulge in the music in the hall, making it difficult to restrain their children.
Every family member should also pay attention to hygiene habits, such as washing hands before and after meals, changing clothes regularly, not spitting, not littering, always keeping clean and tidy, and cleaning the room on time.
(C) a harmonious psychological atmosphere
Parents should also create a harmonious psychological atmosphere for their children in the family. Family members live in harmony, treat each other as equals, care for each other, trust each other and understand each other, even if conflicts occur, they can be solved smoothly. Research shows that children who grow up in democratic, harmonious and civilized families show the characteristics of emotional stability, rich and delicate emotions, cheerful personality, unity, friendship and self-confidence. This is because a civilized family can give children a sense of security and make them feel warm and happy at home; Secondly, it satisfies the child's sense of belonging. In the family, children can feel love and respect, and also learn how to love and respect others, thus enhancing self-esteem and self-confidence. When children are discouraged by difficulties and setbacks, they can draw strength from their families and get guidance. Lev tolstoy, a famous writer, said: "Harmony between husband and wife is the first condition for successfully educating children." In some families, couples are at odds, blaming each other, and often quarreling and fighting, which is very harmful to children's physical and mental health. A juvenile delinquent once said, "My childhood was spent in the days when my parents were fighting and shivering." Urumqi Juvenile Correctional Institution once conducted a survey on juvenile offenders, and found that 40% of children embarked on the road of crime because their parents divorced without supervision.
The national key scientific research project "Research on the psychological characteristics of children from divorced families (3- 12 years old)" shows that children from divorced families generally have the following characteristics: (1) crying; (2) bohemian, running around; (3) excessive timidity and anxiety; (4) indifference, indifference, (5) depression, fast.
Be happy; (6) pessimism and inferiority; (7) Loneliness, often in a daze; (8) easily excited and angry; (9) Fear of certain animals, scenes and people; (10) Stubborn, boastful, and has psychological qualities and obstacles incompatible with society, such as being unsociable, withdrawn, indifferent, nervous, defensive, fond of lying, cheating and even hostile to others. All these surveys show harmony. Family is a very important aspect of children's healthy growth. To this end, parents should be responsible for their children's lives and have a high sense of responsibility for their families, so that their children can grow up in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere. Parents should treat their children as the main members of the family, treat them equally in personality, and don't impose the opinions of adults on their children. Children like to play, so parents should take time out to play games with their children, cultivate their independent personality in games, affirm and encourage their children's legitimate behavior in time, and explain the reasons for stopping bad behavior, not simply. In this way, children regard their parents as big friends, thus making parents more effective in family education.
Five, actively cooperate with society, collective education of children.
Family education, collective (kindergarten, school) education and social education are the three major components of modern national education. Among these three parts, family education is the foundation, which has advantages in time, educational content and educational methods, and is irreplaceable by the other two kinds of education. However, this does not affect the consistency of its educational goal, that is, to cultivate children into all-round development builders with ideals, morality, education and discipline in the 2 1 century, so the three aspects of education should cooperate and coordinate with each other. With the development of education in China, preschool children are mostly educated in kindergartens and nurseries. This kind of collective education is more formal than family education in mode, content and form. Here, teachers will cultivate children's behavior habits, quality cultivation, creativity and interest in learning in a planned and step-by-step manner. After professional training, preschool teachers have rich education, conservation knowledge and education level. They know more about the characteristics of children's psychological and physical development laws than parents. Therefore, it is very necessary for parents to actively contact the kindergarten and cooperate closely with kindergarten teachers and nurses to jointly do a good job in children's education. First of all, parents should understand the educational rules, educational programs and relevant regulations of kindergartens, cooperate with kindergartens and teachers to do a good job in children's education, and achieve the same educational goals and pace. Secondly, we should actively encourage children to participate in collective activities and educational activities, and cultivate their collectivism spirit and social communication ability. Finally, we should actively participate in home contact activities, such as home contact open day, which can let parents know about the daily life of kindergarten. Parents' schools can let parents learn the knowledge and methods of scientific parenting through lectures, exchange of teaching experience, expert consultation and other activities. Parents must not give up this opportunity on the pretext of busy work and tight time.
In short, how to be a competent parent is something that parents need to take seriously. Parents are engaged in shaping the human soul and improving the quality of the whole Chinese nation, and we are constantly exploring and practicing for the success of this cause. When your children become useful talents of the party and the country, they can say: I have done my duty as a teacher.
Be a qualified good parent. Read it together.
Do you take your children to the bookstore at least once a month? Do you consciously help your children choose the right books? Books are the ladder of human progress. Children will benefit greatly from cultivating their reading habits from an early age.
If a child keeps reading, he will never stop learning. Many parents like to play the role of teachers and often teach their children to learn textbooks. I think it's better to spend more time reading with my children. In fact, parents' education for their children can only be subtle. A mother who plays mahjong day and night, she keeps telling her children to study, study, and it is difficult to learn effectively in the sound of mahjong.
Parents are reading books and newspapers, and children will follow. Read with your children!
Will you subscribe to more than one newspaper suitable for children? Many parents often buy clothes and toys for their children. But they rarely subscribe their children to newspapers and magazines. Really, toys will soon pass, and giving children knowledge that will be useful for life is a lack of awareness of many parents. Reading Moxiang books and newspapers together will be the happiest and best memory of children's childhood. Subscribe to newspapers and periodicals so that children's knowledge will grow with age. It's almost the season of books and newspapers, so why not do it?
Second, cultivate the mind.
Will you cultivate children's broad mind to care about the world? Will you buy a globe, a map of the world and a map of China at home? Whenever the news reports a place, do you and your children find that place? There are joys and sorrows in news reports, and there are great regional differences. Let the children know what kind of life people live under the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and let them know the prosperity of Japan, the United States and Britain. They rely on high technology and knowledge. If they have no knowledge, they are also backward. Let the children know to study hard. As the saying goes, read thousands of books and take Wan Li Road. Let the children "walk" on Wan Li Road without going out, and broadcast the news every day, and the children will "read" all over the world.
Third, learn to do housework.
Children are first and foremost people. Even if the child becomes a great man in the future, he will not be hungry if he can cook now. You have to learn everything What should a child do if he has no chance to exercise? I know many parents are worried about the safety of their children's cooking; Second, I feel that children can't do well and get in the way; The third is that it is enough for children to read only sage books.
But we will be old and our children will have families in the future. Isn't it often heard that some college students drop out of school because they can't take care of themselves? I have a friend who knows nothing about life. After graduating from college, he would rather not go to a good city and stay with his parents to eat "old milk". Last month, he didn't even dare to go to America for further study. I can't imagine how he will live when his parents are old. We can't educate our children to make big money in the future, but we can certainly teach them to do housework now. Let's invite them to fry eggs tonight!
Fourth, chat together.
Many parents find that their children are disobedient but listen to their friends. In fact, it is not because parents don't love their children very much and don't take good care of them, but because they lack communication with their children. Adults always feel that they are very busy, and they don't know how thin and lonely their children's hearts are, especially the only child, who is trapped at home every day. I investigated the students with strict discipline, good moral character and excellent study in my class, and said that their parents often chat with them before going to bed, and their parents tell them about their work and let them talk about school for a while and say good night for a while. I think that if parents pay attention to strengthening communication with their children, children will receive their parents' education, otherwise, they will not. Let's start tonight!
Five, do more and talk less
As the saying goes, dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and mice give birth to burrows, which means what kind of parents give birth to what kind of children. Parents are role models for their children. Parents are not necessarily high-ranking officials, but set an example for their children with their great achievements and wealth. But I can be a kind, caring, responsible, diligent and practical person. There is no need to teach children to be filial to the elderly. You should be filial to your parents and in-laws. Children will follow suit when they see it, and vice versa.
Roadside glass, if you bend down to pick up garbage, then your behavior is "kindness", planting the seeds of "kindness" in your child's heart. Maybe your work is not very noble, but if you do it seriously, you will give your child a "serious" character. Children with "serious" personality will be excellent in both study and future work. It is almost impossible for parents to teach their children. They must influence their children with their own actions. Therefore, they must do more.
The whole world is like an olive nucleus, great wisdom and great stupidity are like the tip of the nucleus, and ordinary people are like the middle of the nucleus. As parents, there is no need to demand that children be rich or expensive in the future and get ahead. If the children are happy and independent in the future, then our task is completed and we are qualified parents.