Must have listened to the child.

Question 1: What happened?

After watching a program, the host asked a child, "What would you do if your plane was running out of gas and there was only a parachute on it?"

The child replied without hesitation, "put on the parachute and jump." The adults present began to boo. The host then asked the child why he did it. The child replied, "I'm going to the gas station to get the oil quickly and add it to the plane when I come back."

Many times, adults only rely on external appearances and subjective assumptions, do not listen to children's expressions, do not understand children's ideas, and begin to evaluate children, and even preach. Adults are so arbitrary that they don't give their children a chance to speak, but they hope that their children can listen to themselves, which naturally backfires.

If parents are willing to listen to their children's needs and ideas patiently, they can see the real children; Children can also feel their parents' concern and respect for themselves, and are more willing to open their hearts to their parents and accept their opinions.

Question 2: What are you going to do?

In the hit drama Little Joy, Christina's mother Tong Wenjie was heartbroken that her son could be admitted to the university. Son space bound recovery fan, the result has been steady from the bottom, making trouble and having no intention of learning. It doesn't help that children either beat or scold every day.

Later, she settled down to communicate with her children and asked them what they thought, only to know that they liked dancing and danced well. She listened to the child, gave up her previous expectations and plans, and agreed to let the child take the art test. Space bound recovery fan was admitted to the art school as he wished.

The famous philosopher Ichiro kishida fumio pointed out in his book Courage Regardless of Teaching that the goal of education is "self-reliance", and the key point of self-reliance is to be able to make decisions independently. Making choices independently is an important ability that everyone should have. As long as it is an ability, it can only be gradually improved through continuous training. Compared with direct arrangement, parents can patiently ask their children's opinions, plans and treatment methods in parent-child communication, and explore with their children, which can better cultivate their determination.

Question 3: What do you want me to do?

Now many parents are worried about their children's suffering and can't bear their children's setbacks. They don't hover around the children like helicopters, always paying attention to them. Like a snow blower, trying to remove all obstacles for children's growth.

I know such a mother who cares, cares and cares for her children wholeheartedly. The children showed their interest in guzheng when they watched it in the morning. In the afternoon, she began to understand the main points of guzheng training, and then arranged for the children to audition the next day. However, the child is getting farther and farther away from her and doesn't want to tell her anything. She was so sad and confused that she finally couldn't help asking. The child said that she interfered in everything, did not ask for her own opinions at all, and felt that she did not respect herself.

Psychologist Adler pointed out: "All contradictions in interpersonal relationships are caused by interfering with other people's projects or their own projects." Although parents have the obligation to educate their children, they should also understand that children are independent individuals.