First, the definition of single-parent families
The so-called single-parent family generally refers to a single-parent family in which one parent of a child dies or divorces, and the child only lives with his father (or mother), or both parents of the child die, and the child lives with his grandfather (or grandmother).
Second, the status of children's education in single-parent families
A considerable number of students from single-parent families are physically and mentally unhealthy, and there are some problems, such as impatience or introversion, which will also affect their academic performance. These students tend to compare with others in the collective, resulting in a sense of loss and inferiority, forming an invisible psychological pressure. If any more students say something discriminatory, the pressure will increase, which will bring students personality and academic problems. The consequences of parents' divorce are serious, so we must attach great importance to the education of students from single-parent families. If we don't help them in education and let them develop, it will have a negative impact on the present and future society.
First, there are some psychological obstacles due to lack of warmth and happiness. Most students in single-parent families feel that they can't hold their heads up because of their inferiority complex. They like to be alone, don't want to associate with their classmates, are less timid and live in a lonely "castle" all day. In collective activities, their behavior is unorganized and undisciplined, they do whatever they want, they love to lie and they are indifferent to the collective. When interacting with classmates, I am emotionally unstable and moody, and I often quarrel with my classmates about trifles. Contact with elders, rebellious, insensitive to teachers' praise and criticism, lack of collective honor. Psychologically, students from single-parent families often feel lonely inside.
Second, the lack of necessary incentive education leads to academic neglect. From ancient times to the present, learning is very hard, and playing is the nature of teenagers, so it is indispensable for parents to constantly urge and encourage them during the learning process. However, children from single-parent families lack the necessary incentives, so they are often playful and not interested in learning. There are also some single-parent children whose lives are not well taken care of, whose diets are abnormal, their clothes are not cleaned, and no one takes care of them when they are sick, let alone study hard.
Third, because of the lack of necessary control, it has become laissez-faire and lax. Because many single-parent families don't care about their children's education, they instill some incorrect thoughts and behaviors in their children; Or simply walk away; Or children will be raised by grandparents from generation to generation, giving up the responsibility of educating and managing children. Due to lack of discipline, a considerable number of single-parent children often feel bored when they are alone in their spare time, and adopt negative ways to pass the time: playing video games, surfing the Internet, reading martial arts novels, forgetting their homework, and even playing truant. Others have developed the habit of arrogance since childhood and are self-centered in everything. There are no parents, teachers and classmates in my mind, and the concept of law and discipline is weak. Individual people tend to break the law and discipline because of bad friends and bad habits.
Fourth, I like making friends with the opposite sex, because I lack maternal love and fatherly love. They can't get the care they deserve in life, especially maternal love, and they feel empty and bored mentally. In this case, once they get the attention of the opposite sex students, they will feel very warm and happy, so they often play together after school. After a long time, puppy love is easy, especially for girls.
Fifth, because intergenerational education is too indulgent and covets ease and enjoyment. Some children or orphans from single-parent families are fostered in grandparents' homes or grandparents' homes. Old people often give meticulous care in life, but they lack strict requirements in thinking and learning. As a result, children often pamper themselves, fear hardship and covet comfort, and the homework assigned by the school cannot be completed on time. Turn a deaf ear to the teaching of the elderly, and there are more and more bad habits.
Three, single-parent family children's self-education and self-management countermeasures
As a school educator, how should we understand, care and educate single-parent students? How to help them carry out self-education and self-management? I have the following experience:
1. Investigate and analyze the causes and present situation of single-parent families, "prescribe the right medicine" and find out the demand points of such students.
There are many reasons for single-parent families. Different changes have different stimuli for children. These different psychological barriers are the fundamental reasons that affect children's healthy growth. So the key to educating single-parent children is to analyze and solve the difficulties in life and study. First of all, we should understand the situation, analyze children's psychological obstacles according to different changes, and guide them so that they can have a sound mentality and face the reality correctly.
Due to family changes, children's parents or guardians often have such defects in the process of education, or they are too strict, too fond, or simple and rude, or let themselves go. In view of this, I have long-term observation on the conduct of such children, timely guidance, correction of bad behavior habits, strengthening contact with families, persuading parents to care more about their children, not indulging and being less rude, and educating children not to associate with people with bad conduct in society to avoid "infection" from the outside world.
Everyone has needs, which is a common feature of people's thoughts and psychology. Therefore, grasping the demand point will also grasp the joint point of the child's mind. What children in single-parent families lack most is affection. What they need is nothing more than the warmth of the family, the joy of success, and the understanding and sympathy of others. Educators should seize children's needs in time, create a family atmosphere in classes and families, comfort their spiritual wounds with the warmth of families and collectives, give them cordial care, and let them feel family-like love and warmth.
2. Arouse self-esteem, light the "lights" in students' hearts, and seize the bright spots.
Self-esteem, self-confidence and courage are the positive motivation for students to correct their shortcomings, and they are the most sensitive corner in people's hearts. Respect is the key to emotional communication. Therefore, we should start from respecting and caring for students, and more importantly, we should help them explore their own strengths and discover their progress in time, instead of stabbing them again with words like "stupid", "bad" and "what" to provide them with more self-expression. Where there is confidence, there is hope.
Bright spots are a person's strengths and advantages. Grasping people's advantages and strengths to affirm, encourage and praise, even a little, can effectively dispel people's sense of inferiority and stimulate people's enterprising spirit. Everyone has a bright spot, and children from single-parent families are no exception. Parents and teachers should give them extra praise and affirmation when they have creative ideas in their studies. Children from single-parent families should be encouraged more and blamed less; More warmth, less indifference.
3. Create an environment, pour love and find points of interest.
(1) Carry out hand-in-hand and heart-to-heart activities to solve the financial difficulties of single-parent students, let them fully appreciate the warmth of "big family", encourage students to communicate with them more, have heart-to-heart talks, stimulate their interest in learning, improve their enthusiasm for learning, and form an atmosphere of caring and caring for them in their studies. (2) Strengthen behavior education to make up for the lack of family education. In class management, I combine the daily behavior norms of middle school students with the standard of moral education, and refine the daily behavior habits of students, requiring everyone to overcome lazy habits and pay attention to life order and rules. Let all students live in an orderly group, carry out criticism and self-criticism, and realize "environmental education" through good class style.
Interest is the basis and premise of doing things. Everyone has his own hobbies. Only by fully demonstrating one's interests and specialties can one cultivate and build self-confidence. Children from single-parent families have problems in showing interest. If we can't find and develop it in time, we will lose the opportunity to turn education into talents. Children's self-confidence, nervousness, especially their interest in what they have learned will affect the transfer of knowledge. Therefore, teachers and parents must be good at discovering and guiding children's interests in time and transferring this interest to the track that is conducive to children's physical and mental development in time. Only in this way can we produce better educational and teaching effects.
4. Make a good plan and persevere.
A "one-day life system" can be established to help students plan their daily lives, so that students can have regular activities, learn rhythmically, live a full life, and be emotionally stable and happy from morning till night. In this way, they will feel that they have gained something every day and are often in success. In the process of implementing the "one-day life system", students learn to know themselves, overcome themselves and be strong in life. It is necessary to guide students to observe and dissect themselves frequently, so that their words and deeds are always under their control and self-examine every day. It is necessary to establish a system for students to write weekly diaries, diaries and observation notes, and guide students to observe society, others and themselves frequently, and form the habit of being strict with themselves, dissecting themselves strictly, being good at absorbing the strengths of others and being brave in self-criticism.
5, constantly overcome setbacks, always reflect on yourself.
Life in this world cannot be smooth sailing, and there can be no setbacks. Handling setbacks well may become a new starting point for children's progress and a new driving force for progress; If it is not handled well, it will become a point of ideological decline and retrogression. Children in single-parent families have many setbacks, not only their parents' divorce and death, but also their lives and friends. To this end, teachers and parents must grasp the joint point of this ideological change and comfort and enlighten them in time.