Such an illusory question is analyzed with an illusory sentence and a fact:
The educational way to make children have great promise: let him have lofty ideals and ambitions, down-to-earth execution, and have an almost blind sense of trust in him;
Note: Ideals and ambitions cannot be divorced from convention. You can serve your country faithfully, but you can't be set as an alien. ...
So that children can become promising people? Speak with facts.
There are two and a half saints in the history of China, one is Confucius, the other is Wang Yangming, and the other is Zeng Guofan, the guy who leveled the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom.
Zeng Guofan was determined to honor his ancestors since he was a child, but he was incredibly stupid: he barely passed the rural examination six times before and after;
His fans' confidence comes from his father, because his father also failed in the exam n times;
Zeng's family didn't give him any substantial help. His father told him directly with actions: stupidity is not a crime. The most important thing for a person is to have lofty aspirations and down-to-earth execution to accomplish them.
Moreover, his grandfather trusted him and decided that he must be the one who could honor his ancestors. No matter what others say about him, his grandfather always tells his family to be partial to Zeng Guofan, believing that Zeng Guofan is bound to succeed. In those days, the old man was the absolute authority in the family.
Based on this educational background, Zeng Guofan was never the kind of person who wanted to make a quick decision, but he was also the kind of person who would never give up once he decided.
The same example applies to Confucius. We don't know whether Confucius really learned to play the piano. Generally speaking, Confucius, as a generation of sages, was not ashamed to ask questions and learned the piano quickly, but he was not satisfied with it. Instead, he practiced a song repeatedly, and finally proved to everyone's surprise who the author of the song he learned was.
This method of education is still effective now. Ma Yun and Yu both took three college entrance examinations before they went to college. Of course, many people will say that Ma Yun's success is due to his good family background, so I can only laugh without saying anything-the truth of eating an empty mountain does not need to be elaborated too much. That year, it was outrageous to set a goal to do online shopping, but people just did it step by step;
Yu's family also has a certain background, but if he doesn't work hard, can he have such achievements?
Don't reject others' efforts just because you see their strengths, and the same is true of educating children. Don't reject children's efforts just because they see their weaknesses.
I am Zhang Xu Chinese, and I want to discuss the essence of the problem with you!
If children want to make great achievements through education, they should do the following four things well.
First of all, we should strive to be strict with ourselves and set an example.
Parents are children's first teachers and lifelong teachers who accompany their children to grow up. A smile, every word and deed will become a child's code of conduct. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to be strict with themselves, not to go too far in words and deeds, and to set an example as far as possible.
"Example is better than words" is a slogan, and it is difficult for me, including everyone, to fully achieve this in the process of educating children. Sometimes you can't be strict with yourself, and sometimes you are in a bad mood. We only comment on other people's things. We may also speak ill of some people and things and complain about some social phenomena. We also have to drink with relatives and friends and play mahjong several times ... there should be no doubt about it. We understand that truth is easier said than done. No one can be a saint, even a saint, sometimes his words and deeds are different.
What I want to say is that when educating children, parents should control their words and deeds, what not to say and what not to do in front of children, and strive to control them within a reasonable range. Only in this way can the words and deeds that children learn from their parents be standardized, which is conducive to the formation of future conduct, so that they will not learn from their parents' shortcomings and will be full of problems when they grow up. We know that shortcomings are easier to accept than advantages, and they are easier to turn into actions.
Some parents often leave the mahjong table at home and gamble all night. After playing mahjong, you should tell your children the next day: you are too old to gamble like your father (mother). Can this educate children not to gamble? On holidays, relatives and friends play mahjong together, which I believe will not affect the education of children not to gamble. Because we control our personal behavior in a reasonable position, children are acceptable. We taught him not to gamble, and he couldn't explain why you want to gamble with your uncle during the Spring Festival.
From this perspective, if you control your words and deeds within a reasonable range, you can achieve the requirements and goals of setting an example.
Secondly, build a harmonious family and give children a healthy family environment.
A harmonious family is the best educational gift for parents to give their children. How happy children are when they study, live and grow up in such an environment. Why should parents worry about their children's poor education?
But life is oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, and you have to have both ups and downs. How can there be no contradiction between husband and wife? For example, couples in Qi Mei are not called husband and wife, but called master and servant. But the question is, in order to educate children well, how can we reduce the probability of conflicts between husband and wife, and how can we control the problems and conflicts between husband and wife within the acceptable range of children? Thereby reducing the impact on children. This will test the wisdom of couples.
Some families have strong men and weak women, while others have strong women and weak men. When I first got married, in order to compete for the dominance of the family, I secretly fought with my eyes. However, after several quarrels, the strength became clear. After several years of running-in, by the time the children were educated, the family pattern had been formed. Usually such families are relatively stable. When there are family conflicts, the weak side will always give in, and the strong side will not scream. Therefore, such a couple can do it as long as they have the same goal and work together to build a harmonious family environment.
Some families are better than husband and wife. When they encounter problems, they point the finger at wheat, and no one will give in. In family life, a small quarrel lasts for three days, a big quarrel lasts for five days, and there is always a big quarrel. Divorce is a joke. It is more difficult for them to establish a harmonious family environment. In such a family environment, it is difficult for children to get a good education. Unless both husband and wife can wake up for their children.
Therefore, if parents want to educate their children well, they must try their best to restrain their emotions, build a harmonious family and give their children a good environment for healthy and happy learning and growth.
Third, be good at listening to children's opinions and respecting their independent personality.
A good listener must be a good communicator, because he puts respect first in communication. In family education, parents should also be good at listening to their children's opinions. They should not treat their children's opinions as trivial matters, nor should they interrupt them and say, OK, OK, I get it. I don't know, if you don't take your children's opinions seriously, they will feel sad inside, and you will also have doubts and conflicts. Maybe I won't ask your advice again. In this way, education will be conducted in an unfair environment.
There is a view in our family education thought that the authority of parents should not be violated by children. So we are always self-righteous in educating our children.
For example, sign up for an interest class for children, and parents make a decision: Let's sign up for a dance class. In this way, one day the child was inexplicably sent to the dance interest class. However, after the children went, they didn't like dancing. Tell your parents when you come back: I don't want to learn to dance. Please help me sign up for the painting interest class. But parents don't ask questions indiscriminately, and say calmly: This is not for you to decide, be obedient. Children originally thought that they could learn their favorite paintings by telling their parents. But how can a child think that things will end in such a dialogue? The next day, I was sent to a dance interest class to learn dance. But a year later, the child still can't dance well, so parents blame the child and say, I gave you money for nothing. Look how well someone dances. You are really stupid. Such scenes are staged in many families.
Parents who are not good at listening to their children's opinions put their children in a passive education position. No matter how they are educated, the effect is minimal. Because children are reluctant, they will fight in some way to express their dissatisfaction.
Why are you so self-righteous? Can't we squat down and listen to the children?
When we become listeners when children speak, their independent personality will be affirmed, and children and parents will have an equal dialogue. We will become children's friends, go into their hearts and understand their demands and emotions. In this case, the educational decision made is in line with the wishes of the children, there will be no resistance in implementation, the effect will be prominent, and the educational process will be pleasant.
Fourth, change the style of parents and be good friends with children.
There is a deep-rooted thought in our hearts-Confucian culture. Confucian culture is the mainstream culture of traditional culture. For more than two thousand years, it has been perfected and spread by scholars, and it has penetrated into our blood through the continuous oral transmission of ordinary people from generation to generation. Even if we don't study it deliberately, it has always been reflected in our family life and social life.
We always think that there are differences in age and generations. Therefore, when educating children, I am always willing to put myself in a very high position and teach children condescendingly. It seems that only parents' experience is unique, their words are correct, and children can only carry out their parents' will. In fact, our self-righteous "overbearing" deprives the child of the right to speak and denies his position in the family.
We have an experience that all paternalistic parents are overbearing when their children are underage, shouting at their children and seemingly obedient. However, when they become adults, their status will be reversed and they will no longer listen to their parents in the family. On the other hand, we should listen to the children, do things according to their decisions, want to make comments and make decisions, see if they are willing to listen, and give them a chance to make decisions. As a result, the right to speak and make decisions was deprived, so I had to say with self-deprecation: it's time to hand over power! It's time to hand over power I'm not in charge anymore!
Being a gentle and low-key parent is better than being an anticlimactic parent. Give up the authority of parents and be friends with children (father and daughter, mother and child, mother and daughter). In this way, children's education will operate fairly, parents' educational decisions and principles will be authoritative, children will be willing to implement them, and the efficiency will be twice as high. This kind of education is feasible for underage children and adults. "Hand over power, absolutely can't have! It's not me in the closet. On the contrary, whoever makes sense will listen to him and be the shopkeeper.
Let's abandon the useless and beneficial paternalism and make good friends with our children!
In short, if you want to educate your children well, you must be a wise parent. Be good at correcting mistakes in the process of education, put mutual respect first in education, and let education run in a pleasant environment.
Children's education is multifaceted. They should not only learn cultural knowledge well, but also learn to be self-reliant, learn how to be a person and be a useful person to society.
Parents are the best textbooks and a mirror, which can illuminate the direction of children's progress, set an example, read more useful books, and inspire children to have ideals and ambitions.
Children should have a good learning environment from an early age, knowing that there is no end to a hard work and a harvest. If you want to pass a good psychological education, you must first study scientific and cultural knowledge seriously, and then learn theoretical and practical knowledge.
Tall buildings rise from the ground, and iron bars are ground into needles. As long as you persevere, you can succeed. Don't give up halfway. Parents' grades are also spelled out. Take the right path, hard-won wealth is not desirable. Become a pillar of society and give full play to your abilities. Network diagram.
Why make great achievements? ! There are uncertain problems in parents' thoughts ... most of them are ordinary people, and it's true that they are more ... ordinary people are also useful to society, brick by brick is also positive energy, and they are responsible public servants living in temples. The burden is very heavy. ..... I can't answer, it's deep.
Educated parents have the capital to raise an excellent child. How to cultivate rural and uneducated rough people? It's not fair. There is a wrong saying, don't let the children lose at the starting line. Then, China1400 million people all became gold collars and white-collar workers, and all became officials. Who cares about the streets of this country? Who handles the garbage? How to produce steel? Who sells things in the supermarket? Many problems have to be handled at the grassroots level, don't they?
Therefore, parents are Kochi, but children are not necessarily. Parents are louts, but children are promising. There is an old saying in China, you can't be poor for three generations, but you can't be rich for three generations. God is fair, and the rich and the poor do not last long.
Why are these? Do you know that?/You know what? It's karma, it's karma, it's your own destiny. In short, if you want children to have a future, you have to let other children have a future. If you want something, you must give it up. If you want money, you must give it to others. If you want to live long, you have to give others life to live long. If you want wisdom, you have to expect the wisdom of other children. For example, donate books, notebooks and school supplies to children in poor mountainous areas.
Besides, tiger mothers are always in the minority. If children don't have that kind of life, they may be driven crazy, silly and dead.
Leave it to fate. If the child is not what you say, two people push each other, you are tired, and the child is tired. Jade must be cut and polished, but it must be jade first, and someone must appreciate it. If no one imitates it, jade is just a stone.
Parents are the children's successor teachers. They should be cautious in their words and deeds, be strict with themselves, be kind and generous, and be polite. Be a good person.
The most important thing to treat children is to be friends with her sincerely, and not to beat and scold. With a good family atmosphere and living environment, children will have a good personality cultivation. My child has been a class leader since the first grade of primary school. She and I are soul mates and talk about everything. I gave her an electronic watch when I was very young. When she wanted to go downstairs to play, I said, "Go ahead, be sure to come back in half an hour. Mom is waiting for you. " "My daughter will be back in half an hour. We are dual-employed, and there is no old man at home to help with the children. I bought many picture books. I'm afraid no one in her family is unwilling to go home. There is a foreign picture book called Pang Kun, which tells the story of kidnapping children and killing people. I told her that children should not be naughty, but must go home on time and do their homework at home. There are dark clouds in the sunshine, and there are bad people among the good people. Look at it. Therefore, my daughter never goes out easily. Neighbors in the street say that I have a good daughter and don't go downstairs when I come home from school. My daughter has never let me worry about anything since she was a child. The key is that we are not like mother and daughter, but more like friends, and we often confide in each other. I was not born to educate children. The key is that I have read many books, and people's growth and maturity have a lot to do with knowledge. This is my humble opinion!
Love reading and thinking.
The American novel A Tree in Brooklyn tells the story of a family living in a Brooklyn slum.
There are two children in this family. My mother is a cleaner and my father is a bartender. Their income is tight. The only luxury is to drink a pot of coffee on Sunday morning.
However, even living in such an embarrassing environment, parents still insist on letting their children read every day.
Every night before going to bed, she and her father will take turns reading to their children for an hour, no matter how tired they are after work, they will not waver, every day.
The children discovered the new world in books. When they grew up, they borrowed books from the town library. My sister jumped out of the predicament with full knowledge and extraordinary perseverance. Undoubtedly, books have become a springboard for her efforts, giving her dignity and the belief that "knowledge changes fate".
Many mothers complain to their morning mothers that their children don't like reading, and they don't even read books when they buy them. In fact, the most important thing is the guidance of parents. We must create an atmosphere and environment for children to study at home. In this way, children will not regard reading as a "task", but will feel as normal as eating and drinking water.
At the same time, parents should not impose their own book selection criteria on their children. Only by taking children's interests and preferences as the first element can children's reading interest be stimulated.
02
Learn to be grateful and learn to be temperate.
Several teachers took a group of children abroad to participate in the dance competition. When they took the escalator at the airport, they saw a group of old people taking the escalator, so they stood aside politely and let the old people go first.
After getting off the escalator, the children happened to be on the same road as the old man, so they twittered to tell the old man that they had come to participate in the international youth dance competition.
Later, the old man suggested taking a photo with the children. At this time, the teacher who led the team recognized that this approachable old man was the famous Li Ka-shing!
Li Ka-shing was moved by the children's enthusiasm and innocence, and offered to sponsor the children's travel expenses, and promised that each child would choose a gift.
A parent in Weibo said that he was one of 45 children who became attached to Li Ka-shing this time, and the gift that the child finally chose turned out to be an eraser.
Parents say:
"Our family bought an eraser, and before we left, we clamored to buy an eraser. Gifts are not expensive, just be happy. Be grateful and know how to control. "
This Weibo has been appreciated and affirmed by many netizens.
Yes, some parents may scold their children to death: "The richest man gave you money and you only chose an eraser?"
However, this parent fully respects the children's choices and lets them buy what they like, without being paranoid about their own interests.
This kind of education can not only make this a good memory for children, but also ensure that children will develop a healthy, positive and upward attitude in the future. No amount of expensive gifts can buy this wealth.
This is what we call "visionary parents". They will turn everything in life into an opportunity to educate their children. With such parents, how can children not be excellent?
03
Learn to share moderately.
In many parenting programs, many mothers will consciously teach their children to share their things with their friends. Although the children are still ignorant, the mothers still try to guide them.
There may be many mothers who think that blindly teaching their children to "share" will give "thoughtful" children an opportunity to take advantage of it and cause them to "suffer".
I want to tell you that the significance of sharing lies not in immediate material interests, but in caring for children's pure and kind hearts and training their interpersonal skills.
I was deeply impressed by a sentence from teacher Yin Jianli:
"The most important life skill that parents can teach their children is to be a good person."
Teacher Yin said that when her daughter was 7 years old, the children of relatives came to live at home for several months.
Once, Mr. Yin and his wife went to buy a cake that their family liked very much. There is only a little left, barely enough for two people.
Teacher Yin asked her if she could only let grandma and Xiaoyi eat this time. I won't eat Yuanyuan this time.
Yuanyuan agreed happily. Although she wanted to eat it very much, she thought that her younger brother was still young and her grandmother was old, and they all needed to be taken care of.
After returning home, she insisted on giving the cake to her brother and grandmother, saying that she would not eat anything. Grandma lamented Yuanyuan as a sensible child.
I saw this story before, and I also remembered an incident when I was a child.
I was five or six years old then. My aunt took me and my cousin to the park to play. There are a lot of fitness equipment, and many people line up. Menstruation finally came, let me go up and play.
Then I saw two old ladies standing beside me, so I gave them my equipment and said, come and play.
As a result, because of this, I was scolded by my aunt:
"Very not easy to give you a row, how can you give it to others? The old man in his own family didn't see how much you respected, and his elbow turned outward! "
Looking back on this ridiculous thing, Chen Ma still thinks that I did the right thing and did it well.
If my child does the same thing one morning, I will pick him up and say to him, "What a polite child!" " "
First of all, I think there is no clear answer to the definition of "great achievements".
For families at the bottom of society, it may be "promising" for children to enter ordinary universities.
For entrepreneurs, it is "promising" to hope that their children can go further and list their enterprises.
For the families listed by Forbes, the minimum goal for their children is 1 100 million ... this is not a "big promise"
For a mother with maternal love, it is a "great commitment" to let her children grow up healthily and happily.
So "promising" has no answer. I'm not here to make trouble. I just want to express that for every parent, children are their only treasure and unique. Don't compare with others. As long as you have a healthy mind, a healthy body and a healthy mind, your baby is promising.
Parents, of course, educate their children ideologically and cultivate their morality of being civilized, polite, honest and trustworthy. A person with noble qualities will be a promising person, whether in school or in society.