Case:
Neighbor who lives across the hall, two children at home, my sister is 6 years old and my brother is 3.5 years old. Their family often hears children cry. It turns out that my brother and sister always lose their temper and often scratch my sister. My sister is only 6 years old. After being scratched, she complains to her parents, but her parents always ask her to let go of her younger brother without comfort and support, so my sister often cries.
Many times, adults still have an inertial thinking when raising children: the big ones should give way to the small ones.
However, when children are in conflict, as an older party, let the other party have fun modestly, but is this really fair?
The harm of humility to the boss;
1 grievance, inner depression
"If you are a brother, you should leave your sister alone." My brother is too young to understand, can't you let him go?
The word "should" makes children even want to refuse, because they know that if they refuse, they will not be a good boy in the eyes of their parents, and their parents will not love themselves. So the boss listened to his parents and was depressed for a long time.
Moreover, after the second child gets used to it, he will feel that everything he has done is taken for granted, and he will become more self-centered and arrogant.
Hatred is easy.
No matter how many children you will have, parents should not ignore the boss's mood. Many times they are still growing children and need patience and care.
Originally, the arrival of my brother and sister distracted my parents' attention, and they were reluctant to part with it. If parents still treat them differently at this time, they will feel insecure and even bring emotions to their younger brothers and sisters, and there will be hatred in their hearts.
How should parents who have a second child deal with the problems between their children?
1 Don't force children to share.
I remember in "Where is Dad?", Belle wanted to bring Duoduo's puppy home, but Duoduo refused her. Later, Belle went to Li Rui, the village chief, and Huang Lei, Duoduo's father. They all gave her the same answer: "You have to ask your sister first."
When parents let their children share, children will think, why do you want to play with others? This is obviously my own business.
At this time, parents can encourage their children to communicate with others. For example, you see, the cake of the child next to you seems delicious. Do you want to trade our candy for his taste?
If the child doesn't want to, wait. Some children who don't want to share are not selfish, some are insecure, and some are slow in thinking.
Modesty should not be based on age.
Modesty is a virtue, and Kong Rong let the story of pear spread for thousands of years. But humility should be based on the wishes of children, not on the wishes of adults. Growing children are all the same and need to be treated fairly by their parents.
Don't get involved in children's conflicts rashly.
Some parents will feel particularly uncomfortable when they encounter conflicts with their children, and they can't wait to beat their children, let them stop immediately, or even take the initiative to solve them. But as a result, no matter whether the child is wrong or not, he will feel aggrieved that his parents are biased towards another child.
In fact, parents should not intervene rashly, but communicate with their children alone. After foreseeing that the result is within the tolerable range, we should try our best to guide the children to negotiate and handle it themselves. On the one hand, exercise children's ability to deal with contradictions, on the other hand, avoid leaving eccentric shadows for children.
Don't compare them to children's faces.
When parents get together, it is inevitable to talk about children. In this case, the most taboo is to compare children.
"My brother is careless and his brother is careful."
"My sister's grades are very good, but my sister is not. She is too active ... "
5 cultivate the feelings between children.
If family members have a good relationship, are free, harmonious, respectful, full of love and willing to share, then the rivalry between children will quietly disappear.
Many brothers and sisters are at odds, but many parents don't realize that their unfair treatment is actually an important reason for alienating their children.
6 treat children fairly
When the younger second child makes a mistake or even bullies the boss, parents should stop telling their children that it is wrong in time and apologize to their brothers and sisters. Similarly, if the boss makes a mistake, he should apologize to his younger brothers and sisters. Maybe children don't understand their parents' intentions when they are young, but they can feel that their status in their parents' hearts was the same before.