Many times, parents are not used to not being good at affirming their children, or simply feel that it is not good to praise him for being arrogant.
However, through this article, we will see that children who are not recognized by their parents have regrets here all their lives.
We hope our children can live a beautiful and happy life in the future, but sometimes we still have a lot to do better in dealing with the relationship with children and affirming them. Through this sharing, I also share four educational methods with you.
Four educational methods.
1. Grasp the degree of criticism
Parents should establish a good relationship with their children. The book The Power of Others tells us that for a good connection, the ratio of praise and criticism is 6: 1, while for a bad connection, the ratio of praise and criticism is 1: 3, or even lower.
Let's go and see what the proportion of criticism is when we get along with children on weekdays.
Use positive language
The book Positive Discipline says that parents should make good use of positive language to educate their children, avoid abuse and personal attacks, and use as few negative sentences as possible.
I attended a psychology lecture on positive discipline.
Before the class begins, there is an interactive game: the lecturer gives instructions and everyone follows them. The two groups of instructions have exactly the same meaning, except that one group uses the affirmative language "please sit down"; One group used the negative language "Don't stand"! At the end of the game, the heart was severely poked, and the negative language was particularly harsh, which made people feel anxious, nervous and defensive involuntarily. Focus on things, not people.
In the book The Power of Others, it is said that a good connection is not without criticism, but that criticism is constructive and not directed at people.
Many parents always call their children "stupid" and "you are just not as good as a classmate". This kind of talk is either venting or finding fault, and it is not education at all.
Education is to find children's problems, analyze the reasons, and put forward constructive opinions and help.
4. Parents' mentality
Living in the world, parents inevitably have a lot of pressure and emotions, and children often become punching bags inadvertently.
Children have shortcomings, not that they can't criticize, but that when criticizing children, parents' mentality is out of love or anger.
When you encounter a problem, first restrain yourself for two seconds, with an accepting heart, a tolerant attitude and a kind reminder.
Love is not looking for a perfect person, but learning to appreciate that imperfect person with perfect eyes.
Children have shortcomings, not that they can't criticize, but that when criticizing children, parents' mentality is out of love, not out of anger.
Education is to find children's problems, analyze the reasons, and put forward constructive opinions and help.
Starting today, let's find our perfect eyes together, appreciate the child, affirm him, make his bright spot brighter, and make his shortcomings dim from now on.