1. Disadvantages of intergenerational education
1, easily spoiled. Most grandparents often have the idea that when they were young, they didn't take good care of their children because of poor living and working conditions, but compensated their grandchildren with more love. This kind of thinking often leads to the phenomenon of "intergenerational habits". Grandparents love their grandchildren too much and indulge their children everywhere, which easily leads to their willfulness, strong dependence and low self-care ability. There are also some grandparents who "protect their weaknesses" because they love their children too much, which leads to children's weaknesses not being corrected for a long time.
2. Old ideas.
Although the times have changed greatly, many grandparents still demand their children with old ideas, teach them too much old experience, and lack the cultivation of pioneering spirit and divergent thinking. There are also some grandparents who unconsciously teach their children a lot of feudal superstitions because of their low culture and old ideas, which invisibly increases the difficulty for children to accept new ideas and knowledge.
3. Causing emotional estrangement between children and parents.
Parents love and protect their grandchildren's shortcomings, which makes it difficult for children to accept their parents' strict demands and criticisms, and it is easy to form emotional barriers and emotional opposition, and it is difficult to carry out normal and necessary education.
4. intergenerational education has a great influence on children's personality development.
Therefore, no matter how busy young parents are, they should take time to spend with their children. It is irresponsible for children to give their education and custody to grandparents. According to one data, more than 60% of juvenile offenders in China are related to intergenerational education. Many problems of teenagers are brought up by their grandparents. At present, when studying adolescent internet addiction syndrome, the conclusion is that it is also in a high incidence state in intergenerational education and families with domestic violence.
2. What are the disadvantages of intergenerational education?
What is intergenerational education? Generation-separated education is because some young parents are busy with work or divorced, and so on, pushing their children's education problems and life problems to grandparents. Such "intergenerational parents" consciously take care of their children in an all-round way. Therefore, this kind of parenting and education for grandchildren is called intergenerational education. In fact, many children in our country have been educated by generations. As an objective way of family education, intergenerational education has an important influence on children's personality development. Parents' rich life knowledge and profound life experience provide capital and authority for their children's education. However, due to the limitations of historical conditions and the characteristics of our own times, there are inevitably some unfavorable factors, and we should have a clear understanding of this.
1, excessive doting will hinder the baby's self-growth.
When grandparents were young, due to the limitation of living and working conditions, they may not pay enough attention to their children, which is easy to produce a kind of psychological compensation. They focus their love for their children, including their grandchildren, on their excessive concern for them, so that they take care of them everywhere, resulting in their willfulness, strong dependence and poor self-care ability.
2, causing family conflicts, resulting in parent-child estrangement.
In the first few years of a baby's life, parents' influence on him is very important. For a baby, parents are his favorite people after all. When his parents can't be with him, he will easily feel abandoned and leave a shadow in his heart. In addition, the baby lives with grandparents or grandparents since childhood and is used to protecting and accommodating them. You may also develop some behaviors that parents can't see. When parents take over the baby in a certain period of time, or completely take over the baby from grandparents, they will be eager to reverse the baby's so-called problem behavior, and it is easy to have opposition between parents and baby. Such a confrontational mood will make the baby more alienated from his parents and retreat to his grandparents. Therefore, it is easy for parents and grandparents to cause family conflicts because of their children's education problems. If grandparents interfere with the father's "education" of grandchildren again, this contradiction will intensify.
3. Stick to old ideas and hinder the baby's personality development.
3. What are the benefits of intergenerational education?
First, the mental state of the elderly is relatively calm. Modern people are under great pressure, and the younger generation of parents are under great pressure to survive. It is easy to bring the tension at work to home, resulting in disharmony in the family atmosphere, bringing too much psychological pressure to the baby and not helping the baby's healthy growth. And grandparents have been out of this competitive social environment, and their mentality is relatively peaceful. In addition, the elderly have the same psychology as children, which makes them especially like babies, and it is easier for them to integrate into the games of small babies, and establish a relatively harmonious relationship with them, providing them with a very relaxed and harmonious psychological foundation for correct education.
Second, the life experience of the elderly is richer.
Grandfather has rich practical experience in raising and educating babies, and has a thorough understanding of the development characteristics of babies at all stages, especially when babies are sick or encounter other problems, they know what to do better, unlike inexperienced parents who panic when they encounter anything, on the contrary, they appear very calm. Grandparents' treatment of children in this way can not only bring more sense of security to children, but also provide psychological support to parents, which has played a very positive role in solving these problems.
Third, it can solve the worries of young parents.
Grandparents' care for their grandchildren is irreplaceable by any nursing institution or nanny. They can provide psychological support for their babies and give them a sense of security. Their participation also laid a solid foundation for young parents to devote themselves to their work. It is particularly noteworthy that the participation of grandparents makes up for the lack of parents in the family for the baby in the single-parent family, provides the baby with the object of sexual imitation, and also provides the baby with the opportunity to learn to get along with the opposite sex, which invisibly gives the baby a correct and complete gender awareness education, which has far-reaching significance for the healthy development of the baby's sexual psychology.
4. How to solve the disadvantages of intergenerational education?
First, unify thoughts and reach an agreement. Because the environment and times of growth and development are very different, there will naturally be a considerable gap between the two generations in educating their babies. For example, the younger generation may pay more attention to the baby's intellectual cultivation and personality development. They tend to impart more knowledge to the baby and give him more freedom to explore freely. Grandparents pay more attention to moral education, which may give the baby more constraints. Regarding the education of babies, two generations should try their best to communicate calmly. Only by unifying their understanding can we avoid differences between children and avoid children using this as an excuse to blackmail their parents or grandparents and cause more problems. Parents should consult their grandparents as much as possible and have friendly exchanges. Grandparents also accept new ideas, learn new knowledge and arm themselves with advanced and scientific educational concepts through various channels.
Second, find the right balance point.
When raising babies, ancestors used reason to control their feelings, distinguish the boundaries between love and doting, and love moderately. Parents, too, should weigh the boundaries between freedom and rules, and not just give freedom without rules. Otherwise, an irregular environment can't help the baby get better development. On the contrary, an irregular environment will bring more insecurity to the baby. In addition, it is easy for grandparents and fathers to compete for favor, and there is mutual jealousy between parents and children. A baby is basically an independent individual and will not be attached to anyone. Therefore, both grandparents and fathers should treat their babies calmly, actively create opportunities, give them more opportunities to contact as many other family members as possible, and strive to create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere conducive to family education.
Third, bear the necessary responsibilities.
No matter how busy young parents are, they should spend as much time with their children as possible. They should not use busyness as an excuse to give their grandparents the right to educate their children and custody. If parents ignore their children's psychological needs of staying with their parents for a long time, their mental health will be affected. For example, children may become unsafe and lack trust in the surrounding environment and people. And in order to get more attention from his parents, he may have more problem behaviors, which will give his parents a headache.