So are contemporary children afraid of challenges? In fact, they are afraid, especially children who only know how to study. Faced with challenges, children often fall behind-this is not their professional field.
In fact, in the sports meeting, we can find that such children are often polarized. For children who study well, they seldom participate in activities and always show disinterest or unwillingness to participate in group activities. But for those children with poor learning, they are more willing to take part in various activities and often go ahead when challenged.
What's going on here?
In fact, it is the difference in children's psychological pressure. My friend's child is like this, and now he is in the second grade. However, since the kindergarten class was large, children rarely participated in competitions. They would rather sit alone in a chair than race or jump with others. Children even cry when the teacher wants them to participate.
Why did the child become like this? This has to start with the way friends educate. My friend's educational background is not high, so in the process of educating children, I only stubbornly recognize their academic achievements and think that other things are secondary. Friends have high requirements and great expectations for their children's learning, and they also try their best to do everything for them in their daily lives. This way of doing everything for children leads to the lack of opportunities for children to exercise.
Usually, when children are in school, because there are many students in the class, teachers can't take care of every child. When parents are obedient to their children and the school is ignored by teachers, it will lead to children's lack of self-confidence and make it more difficult to accept challenges. Moreover, when children are asked to try something they have never tried before from the learning environment, they will subconsciously shrink back and refuse, which is one of the reasons why children are afraid of challenges.
Some parents may say that if they don't do everything for their children, how can they be afraid of challenges? Then parents may have made another mistake, that is, praising their children too much.
This is an old problem made by some parents. They think their children are the smartest and most capable children in the world. They often praise their children fiercely in front of relatives and friends, and also praise how smart and capable their children are when they get along with them. This leads children to be unwilling to try and challenge in order to maintain a perfect image in front of their parents.
You know, although challenges mean possible success, most of them mean failure. If a child fails, it is naturally not "perfect" in the eyes of parents. Therefore, children praised by their parents as "puffiness" are often afraid of challenges in order to maintain their so-called "perfection". Although children seem confident on the surface, they are often fragile and have low self-confidence and are easily exposed.
So what should parents do to improve their children's habit of being afraid of challenges and make them more confident? Then parents need to start from three aspects: "I have", "I am" and "I can".
First of all, I have to mention "I have". The so-called "I have" is to let children know their own advantages and various resources, let children realize their own strengths, and let children easily distinguish whether this challenge can be completed, rather than blindly avoiding it.
In addition, "I have" also means making children feel more secure. For a safe child, he will be more decisive when accepting challenges. In a previous video, a foreign father was educating his daughter. He told her that failure was not terrible. What we want is not the result, but the process before failure. Only learning from the process, even if it fails in the end, is actually another kind of success. Remember, whether you succeed or fail, mom and dad will always love you.
For some children who are afraid of challenges, they also have some troubles: if I fail, will mom and dad still love me? Children with this kind of trouble often feel insecure, so it is more necessary for parents to express their love for their children and let them not worry.
"I am" refers to the child's inner ability, including the child's cognition of his own ability, his attitude towards the challenge, and his belief before meeting the challenge. Some children are afraid of challenges because they don't understand "I am", that is, they don't have a clear understanding of their own abilities, so they often hesitate and fear their hands and feet in the face of challenges.
Let children know their own abilities, and let them judge how sure they are to do well and what they can get from it when they don't do well in time. Especially in the face of challenges, attitude is very important. When the child's ability is slightly poor, but the attitude is firm, it is easier to stimulate the child's potential and let the child's ability have room for improvement.
Because I have, I have, I have and I am the way children get along with their parents. When children have these two points, they need the last point-"I can".
"I can" does not refer to the child's present ability, but refers to the child's future potential, and refers to the child's ability to be discovered. "I can" is the key to training children's ability to deal with things and solve problems. Challenges require courage, and "I can" is the source of children's courage. When children always feel "I can't do it" before accepting the challenge, how can they have the courage to complete the challenge?
Therefore, in order to make children not afraid of challenges, "I have" and "I am" are equivalent to the preparation stage of children, and "I can" is the breakthrough point of children. Only a child with firm faith can have the conditions to create miracles. Although sometimes miracles are rare, the experience gained is more valuable than miracles.
Are children afraid of challenges nowadays? When parents face this problem again, they should ask themselves: Do I have the courage to challenge my children? Not all people were born there. Not all children are fearless. Challenges require courage, and parents are the backing. Whether children have the courage to accept the challenge depends on whether parents have children to back them up.