Case 1: Excellent children have to struggle.
Xiaobai's mother is very unhappy recently. Her son in primary school is either naughty at school, fighting with his classmates and being called by his parents, or he does his homework at home and doesn't want to write, so he is always forced to write.
Of course, her son's grades are not good. Every time her grades come down, she is very anxious, anxious about her son's grades, and gives him all kinds of oral education, but it seems that her son is increasingly disgusted with homework and going to school.
She said, look at Lingling (the daughter of a good friend), how obedient she is. She previewed the textbooks during the holidays, did enough exercises and wrote them twice a week after school. No wonder people are always at the top of their studies.
She said that it seems that the only way to cultivate excellent children is to strengthen control, so I will give him a beating to see if he is obedient.
Tip: we should respect the law of children's development and guide them according to the situation. High-handed means will only be counterproductive and will not have a good result.
Case 2: You are not excellent, but the punishment is not enough.
Linlin's father studied hard since childhood, was admitted to a university in the countryside, became a primary school teacher in the city, and later had a daughter.
He has always believed in hard work and has always been strict with his daughter for a better future. If the daughter doesn't listen, she will fight.
Growing up, my daughter seldom had the opportunity to play outside and kept reading and studying at home. Fortunately, her academic performance has always been among the best, and her cousin is still satisfied. However, I can't go to a key high school. There are too many good students and the competition is too fierce. The daughter slowly slid from above to the middle.
Angry and anxious, he even scolded and punished his daughter to make her work harder, and finally her grades improved. However, my daughter is very worried about her grades. Because of the great pressure in the college entrance examination, my grades were much worse than usual, so I couldn't go to a good school.
When he knew his grades, he hated iron and slapped his daughter, but the slap ruined her. Since then, my daughter has shut herself in the house every day, staring blankly all day, and no one cares.
After a long time, he finally felt strange and found that his daughter was mentally ill. It's too late to take her to the doctor, and her daughter is seriously depressed. He regretted taking his daughter to see many doctors and spending a lot of money and energy, but her daughter never recovered.
This obedient boy, because his father gave him too much pressure to study, was overwhelmed, got depressed and autistic, and could not live a normal life from now on.
Is it worth ruining a child's life for the so-called "Excellence"?
How to actively cultivate "excellent" children?
1. First of all, parents should pay attention to improving themselves.
This has two advantages. One is to reduce anxiety and stop focusing on children. The other is to set a good example for children.
2. Give your child unconditional love.
Parents' love for their children should be unconditional and has nothing to do with grades and performance. Only in this way can children feel the love of their parents.
Make friends with your children.
Don't be suppressed by parents, be equal to your child, be his friend, listen to his joys and sorrows and give him unconditional love.
4. Listen more and talk less
When communicating with children, listen more and talk less. Only in this way can children really treat you as friends and share their thoughts with you.
5. Let go appropriately and let the children be independent
Don't try to know everything, take care of everything, let go appropriately, guide children to manage their study life and cultivate their independence.
6. Guide children to form good habits
Parents should guide their children through persuasion and form good study and living habits, which will contribute to his lifelong development.
7. Follow the child's nature and let his hobbies develop freely.
Interest is the best teacher. If you don't force your child's hobbies, you can cultivate them according to his nature. This will get twice the result with half the effort.
8. Don't keep up with the joneses, but value your child's every progress.
Every child has his own unique development. Don't always compare children with other people's children. Pay attention to every progress of children.
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Parents should first put their minds at peace, accept everything about their children, discover their advantages, and don't expect too much of them. After all, their physical and mental health is the most important.
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