Teachers, doctors and lawyers in all positions in the world need to take the qualification examination before they can take up their posts.
Only the position of parents, such a sacred position, can be employed without passing the exam.
We often educate our children to study hard and make progress every day.
However, parents don't like studying. They hold their mobile phones and laugh every day.
The books at home are covered with dust.
In fact, when teaching children to study hard and make progress every day, we can change this sentence.
So how should we educate our children?
This book can give you the best answer.
The book Family Education was published in 1925 and has been reprinted more than ten times. The book consists of 12 chapters, which establishes the principle of10/0/family education, describes children's psychology and general teaching methods, and explains the meaning of various suggestions.
The content involves all kinds of problems of children from waking to sleeping, from laughing to crying, from eating to dispersing, from birth to illness, and from treating people well.
There is a saying in Sun Tzu's Art of War: Know yourself and know yourself, and you will be invincible.
To educate children well, we must first understand their psychological characteristics. So what kind of psychological characteristics do children have?
The book deals with the following aspects:
It is his nature that children are naturally lively and active, and it is also his nature to like games, because their desire to explore the world is strong enough.
When children are happy and satisfied in the game, it can increase their own experience and develop their intelligence.
For example, we want our children to know colors. If we arrange a row of colors and let them recognize them mechanically, most of them may have fallen asleep.
Maybe we can change the way so that children can enjoy learning while playing.
We can prepare some colorful beads and let the children string a bracelet. In the process of stringing bracelets, we can chat with them and ask the children what color the beads are.
This way not only enhances the affection between parents and children, but also allows children to gain practical experience in the game and meet their happy needs.
Children are curious about everything in the world, because they have many unknown things about the world. For example, they will touch the world with their hands. For example, they like to play with water and snow. If parents forbid children at this time, say you can't play with snow because you are prone to catch a cold.
In children's world, they don't know what a cold means. All they know is that his parents won't let him play with snow.
At this time, the child's curiosity will be limited, parents will not let him play with blood, and the child will lose the experience of feeling the snow personally.
If there happens to be a composition to write about snow in primary school, the child's brain will be blank. After all, the knowledge gained from personal experience will make children like to explore more.
Everyone likes to accept compliments from others, but they should be praised in an appropriate way.
Why do you say that?
For example, parents really want their children to brush their teeth well. One morning, the children came up to you after brushing their teeth, and you said, you are great.
At this time, the child will be very confused, because the parents do not praise the specific behavior, and the child cannot accept the positive feedback of this matter.
We can do it another way: Baby, your teeth look particularly white today. You're amazing!
Or when the child continues to brush his teeth the next morning, we can praise him for improving his brushing posture compared with the previous day.
Parents' praise must be the specific behavior of children, and children's behavior can be actively strengthened.
Should we praise children anytime and anywhere?
It shouldn't. Because only a limited number of compliments will be valuable.
If we praise children anytime and anywhere, then children will fall into a state of habitual satisfaction and become conceited.
If parents praise too much, over time, children will despise their parents' praise.
Every child likes playing with toys very much, but most of them don't like sorting toys. Let children form a good habit of arranging toys from an early age. Because it only takes ten or twenty days to form a good habit, but it takes at least several months to get rid of a bad habit.
So parents should let their children form good habits from an early age.
To this end, we can do this:
For example, children are naturally playful. When parents want their children to form a good habit of tidying up toys, their children's habits are particularly good in the first three days. Every time they finish playing with their toys, they put them away.
But on the fourth day, good TV programs took away his attention. He wanted to tidy up his toys, but he sat in front of the TV watching TV programs without knowing it.
On the fifth day, TV programs always take his attention away like magic.
Therefore, parents can accompany their children to do it before they start to form good habits.
For example, if we want him to tidy up his toys, where should he put them?
To this end, we can prepare a toy storage box for our child, or leave an empty drawer for him to put toys specially.
Create good habits and favorable conditions for children.
When a child keeps his toys in order, we can praise him for keeping them in order.
Praise the child's specific behavior and encourage and praise the child appropriately.
When a child is affirmed by his parents, his good habits will continue to persist.
Words and deeds always precede words and deeds.
Tell the child how to do it, it is better to show him yourself.
Parents are the children's first teachers, and so are parents.
Children come into this world like angels, and at the same time, they are also a blank sheet of paper. The key depends on how parents learn from it.
Children are copies of their parents. Sometimes we must first reflect on the problems existing in children. Do we have the same problem ourselves?
When we take measures to hurt children, we must apologize to them in time.
Don't think that children don't need your apology. They are also independent individuals and need your respect.
Many traditional families in China will advocate:
Mom and dad want one to be a good COP and the other to be a bad COP.
The views in the book are quite different from this.
Teacher Chen Heqin thinks that parents should have the same attitude towards their children's education.
For example, dad thinks that children should eat more pasta if they want to grow taller, but mom thinks that they should eat more rice.
At this time, the child will be very troubled and very upset. Should he listen to his father or his mother?
Listen to dad, mom will be unhappy. Listen to mom, and dad will be unhappy, too.
Over time, children will be dubious about their parents' words.
Therefore, parents must have the same attitude towards their children's education.
Sometimes we think, what should children do if they really do something wrong?
What is visible is the appearance, but what is invisible is the truth.
For example, a child who likes telling lies may be beaten because he is afraid to tell the truth.
We should not only see the wrong events, but also go deep into the causes of children's mistakes, stop children from making mistakes at the source, and guide children to correct them when they know the mistakes.
In public, we often see some mothers nagging their children: "Why are you so disobedient?"
At this time, the child who was nagged by her did not think so. Instead of being upset by her mother's nagging, she seemed indifferent.
At this time, the child has actually lost the most basic sense of shame.
The reason is that this mother always likes to talk to her children in crowded places and doesn't respect their self-esteem.
In public, if a child makes a mistake, we can go home at night, hold the child in our arms and gently tell him what he made a mistake. How to correct it next time is a good baby in my mother's heart.
Although education without punishment is not a complete education.
But punishment is not an end, but a correction.
The book advocates minimizing beating and scolding children, because it will hurt children's self-esteem.
But if the child touches something dangerous like fire, we can simply clap our hands and let the child relate the danger and pain of touching fire, so that he won't touch fire next time.
But the key point is to guide and cultivate children's good habits of correcting mistakes.
When parents and children are good friends, the relationship between children and parents will naturally not be too bad, and the parent-child relationship will become more harmonious on the basis of mutual understanding, because parents are no longer condescending, but communicating with children as equal friends.
Then when children make mistakes, friends' suggestions are more easily accepted by children, so the best parent-child relationship is that parents should learn to be friends with their children.
Generally speaking, the book Family Education makes us realize that educating children is not easy.
Actually, there is only one center and two basic points.
One center is to recognize children as independent individuals.
The two basic points are to respect children and learn to be friends with them.