Obviously, "doing everything" and "doing nothing" are too extreme, biased and undesirable. Good parents always choose to "do something and not do something", more precisely, only do two things:
1. Cultivate a good parent-child relationship
A good relationship is better than many educations. When parents have a good relationship with their children, the education of their children is easy to succeed; When the relationship with children is not good, the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "orientation";
(1) Learn to be a lawyer instead of a "judge"
Some parents can't wait to become "judges" when they see that their children have problems, which is very dangerous.
Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, there is no way to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care about their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends.
That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers", understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legitimate rights and interests as their sole purpose.
(2) Don't be a referee, learn to be a cheerleader.
In the arena of life, children can only work hard on their own. Parents can neither replace their children, nor should they be "referees" themselves. Instead, they should give their children a strength to maintain a good competitive state, which is the strength of cheerleading. This can help children build self-confidence, which is the core task of family education.
Parents should be the "cheerleaders" of their children, not only be good at discovering and praising their children, but also guide them to face failure correctly and be their comrades-in-arms before setbacks.
(3) Learn to be a "mirror" instead of an "animal trainer"
Children can only overcome themselves by knowing themselves, but usually they can only know themselves according to other people's feedback. At this time, the "feedback" role of parents, that is, the role of mirrors, is very important.
Don't be a "trainer", learn to be a "mirror" to help children improve their self-awareness, so that children are not afraid of their parents' "authority" and turn to their parents. (4) Education should be divided into seven parts.
"Wait a minute" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by mosquitoes, we will get well soon, but if we always scratch, it will take a long time to get well. The reason is that the human body has a certain self-healing function. Being bitten by mosquitoes will soon get better, and applying external force will only be counterproductive.
The same is true of education. Stop, wait, give the child a chance to speak, communicate effectively with the child, and solve the problem without education.
2. Guide children to learn to learn.
It is an important duty of parents to attract children to love learning and guide them to learn to learn, which is also the real charm of parents.
(1) There is a reason why children are tired of learning.
Let it go, let it be chic; If you don't care, you will get beans; Nagging and cursing, beating and swearing at will; Don't arrange things, but create "machines" ... If parents take this unwise approach, they will only make their children less and less fond of learning.
Children's dislike of learning is only a superficial phenomenon, and there must be a reason behind it: haven't they developed good study habits? Don't you see the best in your child? Don't you use your brain scientifically? Are parents hindering their children's nature of "playing middle school"? But children don't realize that learning is their own business ... finding the reasons behind it can help children get out of the shadow of being tired of learning.
(2) It can stimulate children's curiosity and learning potential.
Children's lack of curiosity is usually not due to the influence of parents or lack of strict requirements, but because their interest is hindered.
Interest (curiosity), dreams, sense of accomplishment, questioning, gratitude, enthusiasm and anger are all channels to dredge and stimulate children's thirst for knowledge. For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential. Mood, enlightenment, suggestion, reverie, perseverance and planning are the six principles to stimulate children's learning potential.
Although there is no absolute "timetable" for potential development, it is important to have steps, such as setting goals, controlling emotions, sharpening the will and focusing on one point.