20 17 I resigned as the deputy director of Hangzhou Education Bureau and went to America. I have other purposes besides being with my daughter.

Principal of primary school for 6 years, 12 director of education, I have been thinking: what is the most important influence in a person's growth?

I applied for a visiting scholar in the direction of infant education at Pomona College of California Institute of Technology, and continued to look for answers.

That night, I tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep because I drank some tea. In the early morning, there was a cry of my little grandson walking around next door. The crying is getting louder and louder, which is heartbreaking.

I know I shouldn't interfere, close my eyes and want to fall asleep quickly.

But as soon as I close my eyes, all I can hear in the silent night is crying. After struggling for a few minutes, I still couldn't hold back. I got up and pushed open the door of my daughter's son-in-law. The son-in-law and Doudou are deadlocked, and no one will give in.

Five-month-old Doudou was lying in her crib crying and reaching out for a hug. The son-in-law stared at the child beside the bed and said, "The more you cry, the less I hug you ...". My grandmother was really distressed, so she picked up her pocket and shook it gently.

Early the next morning, my daughter said to me seriously, "Mom, what you are doing is wrong."

I just learned last night that as a grandmother, my behavior crossed the line. But I couldn't help explaining: "I can't sleep after drinking tea, and I'm a little impatient to hear that I've been crying."

The daughter said, "I know my husband is wrong to do this, but it is difficult for me to communicate with him on this matter when you suddenly come in."

I sincerely apologized to my daughter and said, "I'm sorry, mom won't do it again."

On 20 17, my daughter was admitted to UCLA medical school. After finishing her doctor's degree in clinical medicine, she will complete the residency training and obtain a doctor's license. She is at least 32 years old. She hopes to get married and have children first, and then go on to finish her doctorate.

My husband and I support her decision and want to share some for her. I decided to resign as the deputy director of Hangzhou Education Bureau and go to the United States to accompany her and learn more about preschool education in the United States. In recent years, I have been studying the education of infants aged 0-6.

At the end of 20 18, my daughter gave birth to a ride in the United States.

In the first eight months, my daughter and son-in-law did all the bathing, feeding, changing diapers and putting me to sleep. Besides studying during the day, I will also help my daughter look after the children. Even if I hear crying at night, I will refrain from interfering.

That night, I crossed that line for the first and last time.

Raising children is a compulsory course for parents. They need a complete experience and bear. At the same time, smooth communication between husband and wife is also very important. If the elders intervene rashly, it will cause misunderstanding and is not conducive to children's education.

In our family, everyone's relationship is free and equal, and they don't tell each other about their lives and don't cross the line. Do your duty.

The most important thing for family members is mutual trust and help.

I lived with my daughter and son-in-law for a whole anniversary, and we never quarreled or blushed.

Looking for an aunt, I have a request: this aunt should be able to work in our home for more than five years.

I never train my aunt, and I don't ask much of her. Aunt often said "no" to Doudou at first, and Doudou cried as soon as she heard it. Let my aunt see how to face the demand for a ride correctly. Aunt watched a lot and gradually learned.

Now aunts are more and more fond of laughing and praising their children. She often says, "Our family is the most handsome in the whole nursery."

Daughter and son-in-law are allergic, even after giving birth. Therefore, in the process of adding complementary food, the pace is very slow, and each food will give him a little try.

After a long time, I used to have some small reactions when I ate food that would make my body red, but now I have gradually adapted to it and my physique is getting better and better.

Usually we don't feed or force our children to eat. Give him a pineapple, and he can grab it and pinch it. Freedom to eat is the most basic. If parents have too many rules and regulations, they will suppress their children's initiative.

Dressing is the same. Children in China are characterized by wearing a lot of clothes. They all say that "there is a kind of cold, which makes their mother think you are cold." In fact, children's metabolism is very fast, and it is not easy to feel cold. Many times, children cry, either hungry or too hot.

I only wear long sleeves at home and the quilt is very thin. I wear a thick coat when I go out in winter. This makes the child very comfortable. Adults can't stand being wrapped in three layers, let alone children.

Give the child the right to choose freely, and his inner motivation will become stronger and he will be more interested in exploring the world.

Two-year-old Doudou was afraid to slide for the first time and called the teacher "ahhhhh" for help. When the teacher didn't come, he threw his socks down first and found nothing. He slowly turned around and tried to slide down.

After several times, he was able to glide freely without help. He would climb up from under the slide and slide down. This is the amazing growth speed and amazing learning ability of children.

I summed up three principles for parents to protect their children: protection and care that do not cross the border; Non-imposed inspiration and guidance; Unplanned support and help.

I am a less traditional mother.

My daughter Qingqing was born in 1993. For nine months after her birth, I took care of her wholeheartedly at home.

After I returned to work, I went to kindergarten to pick me up, played with my children at night and slept, all of which were done by my husband and wife.

My daughter is in the first grade of primary school. I am the headmaster of Shengli primary school, and I am very busy with my work. Our family moved to the edge of Shengli Primary School, and our parents-in-law lived in the same community with us.

The school is close to home, and it takes only ten minutes for my daughter to walk to and from school by herself. After school, she went to her grandparents' home to do her homework and have dinner. Then she went home, played for a while and went to bed early. Every day was regular.

Our family is very democratic. I seldom talk at home, never stare at her for a minute, never check her homework, and never sign up for any training class. My daughter is sober. The first thing she does when she comes home from school every day is to do her homework, and then play after she finishes it, thus forming a good habit.

When my daughter was in the second grade, a friend's child also lived in our house. The two children grew up together, played together after finishing their homework, and discussed everything by themselves.

Occasionally, there will be "deviations". In the fourth grade, schoolwork becomes more difficult. My daughter felt that her study was very hard and she didn't hand in her homework for a week.

At first, she only did a few fewer questions, then she only did one question every day, and then she simply stopped doing it. The teacher came to me complaining that her daughter had skipped her homework.

My husband and I asked our daughter, "If you don't want to do your homework, don't do it. Go out for a walk ... "

She is seldom criticized at ordinary times. The daughter was under great pressure and immediately said, "Mom, I was wrong. I will never skip my homework again. I will change it. "

Parents talk too much every day, but it's useless. If they talk too much, their children will be tired. It's still effective to be harsh once in a while.

Nowadays, in many families, the father is serious and the mother dotes on him, which is not conducive to the growth of children. On the contrary, it will be more beneficial for children to develop good habits if their father is humorous and relaxed, and their mother is stricter and more principled.

Being a principal is very busy. Once, I made up my makeup carefully and dressed up beautifully. I wanted to go to a social activity with my husband.

As a result, a phone call came and said that a child had been lost. I quickly took off my makeup and ran to the public security bureau to monitor and find someone. It was midnight when I got home.

But no matter how busy I am, I will stay with my daughter all day and take her out to play on weekends. This is a promise I must make.

When I was the principal in Chongwen, my daughter was studying in Chongwen. For my daughter's study, I don't choose classes or teachers, so I will follow the routine. The head teacher arranged for a boy with some mental problems to sit at the same table with his daughter for four years, and I didn't interfere.

One day, when my daughter was cleaning after school, the boy hit her on the head with a stool, and she immediately bulged a big bag on her head. I am very distressed. When I got home, I asked her, "Honey, do you have a headache?" She said, "Mom, he didn't mean it." . I am relieved that my daughter has such a mentality.

My daughter is a responsible and caring child. She didn't become a monitor, but kept the class key for six years. Every day, she was the first to get to school and the last to leave school.

She was admitted to Hangzhou Foreign Studies University, and I shared sweets at school. Many teachers were surprised when they found out that she was my daughter.

I asked her jokingly. People say that your mother is a great headmaster. what do you think? She said, I don't want to be in mom's school.

Unexpectedly, with such hard work on weekdays, children will still be under pressure.

Parents always want to give their children the best resources and arrange their children's future. But for children, these may be burdens and pressures.

I hope to set my daughter free and let her live the life she wants.

My daughter decided to be a doctor when she was a freshman. She is not interested in her parents' work. We told her it was difficult to be a doctor, but she insisted.

We helped her find three opportunities to experience: first, to study in the biology laboratory of Zhejiang University; The second is to go to Zhejiang Second Hospital for surgery; The third is to go to the reproductive center of Run Run Run Shaw Hospital for one day.

After so much experience, she still likes the profession of doctor. We will give her a choice of future career direction.

After graduating from high school, my daughter was admitted to UCLA. After studying biology for four years, she wants to get a doctorate in clinical medicine. This is very difficult.

My daughter got good grades. She ranked in the top 3% in the medical exam and in the top 5% in the foreign language exam. She thought she would be admitted, but she failed. She realized that this major, major medical schools in the United States usually do not recruit foreign students.

After another year of hard work, my daughter was finally admitted to the Clinical Medical College of UCLA.

My husband and I are also more open-minded about finding someone. My daughter had a good boyfriend when she was an undergraduate.

We once discussed with her: "What do you think are the three most important criteria for finding a boyfriend?"

She said: "First, reliable and responsible; Second, there must be something better than me, something I admire; The third is extroversion, mild temper and no bad habits. "

After getting the offer from the medical school, we had a more formal communication with her: "Does Xiao Mo meet your standards?"

She said: "There is no reliable person now. He is more reliable than coming. "

My daughter's boyfriend is very artistic, good at music and math, cheerful and lively, and often organizes various parties and activities. The daughter and he are very complementary.

They have been together since freshman year. At that time, our attitude was: no objection, no approval, no meeting. After she was admitted to graduate school, we felt that feelings were her own business, and she had the ability to judge.

There is no need for parents to control their children too much when looking for a partner.

We have raised our daughter for more than 20 years, and the values that can be passed on to the children's hearts have been deeply buried. If her standards are completely different from ours, it should be parents, not children.

My relationship with my daughter has always been caring and independent. Our family of three often lie on the sofa and talk about everything.

My daughter brought her classmates home to play, so I leaned in to chat with them, learn more about these post-90 s ideas and enter the world of this generation of young people.

After so many years of education, many people think that I was an excellent child since I was a child. Actually, I am very naughty. I used to be a "poor student" in the eyes of the teacher, and I was also asserted by the teacher that I would definitely not be admitted to the university.

I was born in a ravine called SHEN WOO in Fuyang, Zhejiang. There are only twenty or thirty families in the village.

Dad/Kloc-joined the army at the age of 0/8, and worked as a logistics worker at the military airport in Hui 'an, Fujian. When I was three years old, my mother took my brother and me to Fujian.

Our family lives in Xiaoyanglou. My father is a battalion-level cadre, with close-fitting orderlies around him. Even the toothpaste is squeezed in the morning.

When I was a child, I was like a boy, careless and naughty.

There is a swimming pool in the barracks. My father taught me to swim, and I got bored after teaching for a while.

I was flopping about in the swimming pool alone. My foot slipped, and I accidentally slipped from shallow water to deep water. I drank several mouthfuls of water before being pulled up by adults.

Float a few times, drink a few mouthfuls of water, and naturally learn to swim.

At noon, my brother and I often pretend to take a nap. When dad went out, we put on wet shorts and went swimming through the window.

When dad comes back soon, my aunt will tip him off. We quickly climbed ashore, put on dry shorts and lay down to pretend to sleep. Every day in summer is like this.

Parents are very open-minded and turn a blind eye to our daily "naughty". When it comes to principles, this is very serious.

When my brother was nine years old, someone told him, "Take out your family's money and bury it under the big tree at the door. In two days, it will increase. " My brother believed it, stole a ten-dollar bill and a five-dollar bill from the drawer and buried them underground.

Soon, my mother found that there was less money and asked my brother where the money went. My brother said it was buried under the tree at the door and ran out to dig. There's nothing.

Mother closed the door and hit my brother with a bamboo stick until he was under the bed. Drag it out and keep fighting.

My aunt cried outside the door and shouted, "Stop fighting! Stop fighting! " My brother and I huddled by the door, scared, pulling my aunt's skirts and crying all the time.

Although the conditions at home are good, I don't have a delicate temper and do housework every day. At the age of ten, I can run three floors with four bottles of boiling water and cut fish in ice water in winter. ...

Dad is very strict with us and doesn't allow us to sleep late. At six o'clock every day, when the bugle rings, the whole family has to get up.

Climbing up and down in the army training ground since childhood, just like wild children. Once I accidentally poked a wooden tip into my finger and my whole fingernail fell off. I didn't take it seriously, and it will grow on its own after a while.

From the age of three to eight, I lived in the military compound for five years, which also exercised my spirit and physique and made me brave.

In the second grade of primary school, my father retired and returned to his hometown, and our family returned to Zhuji Ciwu. I studied in my grandmother's SHEN WOO for half a year.

Compared with the local villagers, our family conditions are better. I wear a white shirt with an embroidered neckline to school every day.

I'm used to being wild in the army. I like playing and don't study hard. The teacher in the duplex class always scolds me: "embroidered pillows are rotten straw bags!" " "

My favorite thing is pulling pig grass, and I think about it every day.

In class, put the basket beside the table. As soon as the school bell rang, I picked up the basket and ran up the hill. There are terraces in the back hill. I like to take risks and jump down one layer with my basket. I'm not scared at all.

In spring, the pig grass is green and tender, and it feels particularly good. In spring, I often see sharp bamboo shoots in the bamboo forest, secretly pull out one and hide it under the pig grass.

In the second year, I transferred to Zhuji Ciwu Central Primary School. My grades were average, but I had a good time.

After my father retired, I worked in Daxi Grain Management Institute, and my mother worked in supply and marketing cooperatives. Both of them were very busy. There are not so many rules and regulations at home, and the three brothers and sisters grow up freely.

I am lively, I am crazy, and I like to join in the fun. If there is anything new, I will be the first to see it.

In the summer of the fifth grade of primary school, on the third day of August, the town held the annual Yingdian Street Exchange Meeting.

At noon, I fooled a group of classmates around me and said, "The teacher said there would be no class this afternoon and told us to go to the market." Finally, half of the students left the school and went to the market.

I walked in front with five classmates in my class. When I saw a classmate's uncle passing by in a tractor, I stopped and sat on it.

The teacher found that everyone was running outside the school. I don't know what happened, so I chased them out and took them back. But the six of us have got on the tractor and left.

We strolled around Yingdian Street, each of us bought a crutch to chew on, and it was already evening when we walked back to school laughing and talking.

On the way, I met a classmate who had just left school and said, "You are finished. The teacher is waiting for you at school. "

The vice principal called the six of us to the school conference room and severely criticized us. A penalty notice was posted on the wall at the school gate, and the teacher called parents to collect people. Dad grounded me.

I like talking in class. I started talking before the teacher finished asking questions. The teacher often has such a sentence in my comments: "I like to talk nonsense in class and undermine classroom discipline."

This comment accompanied me throughout my student days.

There is a teacher, and I am especially grateful to her. She is my Chinese teacher in Ciwu Primary School. Her surname is Jiang. The second day of junior high school just transferred here, and the foundation is very poor, and the handwriting is crooked. She was very patient and taught me stroke by stroke.

She always says to my mother, "Your daughter is very clever and will succeed in the future."

Teacher Jiang was the first teacher who saw the bright spot in me and believed that I could do it. Her encouragement gave me confidence and hope.

After I entered the second pier junior high school, my grades went up all the way. But I am lively and talkative, and another teacher doesn't like me very much.

Once, she pointed at me and said, "People like you can't go to college."

I pushed back on the spot: "I am determined to give you a college entrance examination."

To be admitted to a university, the first step is to enter Zhuji Middle School, which is the best local middle school.

The class teacher said that there are many steps in the big classroom of Zhuji Middle School, and there are faucets in the laboratory. I am longing for it, just for the steps and faucets, I must go in. I started studying very hard.

Finally, I was admitted to Zhuji Middle School, ranking 2 1 in my class. The days of Zhuji Middle School are sparkling, high-spirited and carefree.

Once, I took three female students in my class to steal incense behind the school. As soon as I climbed the tree, I was discovered by an old teacher and reported to the dean. Each of us was punished to write a review and read it at the morning meeting of the whole school.

I am old, but my naughty character has not changed. In my class, I am the "boss", and all male students say that I am their "spiritual leader".

We formed the first women's volleyball team in our school. In order to exercise our body and will, the head teacher asked us to get up early and run 10 thousand meters every day, and it was windy and rainy, and it snowed heavily in winter. Later, our women's volleyball team won the championship in Zhejiang Province.

I especially like physics class. I am witty. I was the first to raise my hand when the teacher asked questions.

Our physics teacher is very good. In a wonderful physics class, he never needs a lesson plan, a pointer, a piece of chalk and a pack of cigarettes. He summed up ten topics of high school physics and listed them one by one, all of which are the essence.

But when I went to tell him that I wanted to choose physics as my major in the college entrance examination, he directly refuted me, saying that girls were not suitable for studying physics and would not let me fill it out.

I am full of expectations for being refuted, but I am a little lost and unwilling.

If I don't choose physics, I will choose a favorite major for myself. Immersed in reading books in the library every day, I gradually feel that studying psychology is also good, so that I can better understand people and gain insight into the world.

My first choice for college entrance examination is Tongji University, and my second choice is Hangzhou University. Finally, I was admitted to Hangzhou University with a score of 529 to study educational psychology.

My mother said that Hangzhou is beautiful, and it is the place she always dreamed of. When she was a child, her family was poor and she had no condition to study. She hopes that I can go to Hangzhou to study in university and stay in Hangzhou.

From 65438 to 0985, I entered Hangzhou University, which is famous for its "freedom". The school has activities every week, such as dancing, poetry, concerts and so on.

After graduating from college, I found Zhang, the headmaster of Shangcheng Normal School, and introduced myself: "I study educational psychology and want to work here."

President Zhang loves talents very much and gives me a lot of space and freedom to do research. President Zhang also unconditionally supports some of my ideas. I worked as a researcher in a further education school for eight years.

On July 9th, 1997, Shangcheng Education Bureau suddenly talked to me. Wang Jincheng, secretary of the Party Committee, told me, "You are excellent. We hope to send you to Shengli Primary School as the principal. " Shengli Primary School is a century-old prestigious school with a great reputation.

I was surprised and said, "When the headmaster?" I didn't do it. I won't do it. "

"It doesn't matter." He said with a smile.

"When will you be the headmaster?" I asked.

"You will go tomorrow." The secretary said.

July 10, I went by bike. At that time, Shengli Primary School was at Meihua Monument on Xihu Avenue. I stopped my bike and walked in. There is a teacher on duty at the door.

She stopped me: "Hey, what do you do?"

I said, "I'm here to be the principal."

At this moment, Wang Dajun, the vice principal of Shengli Primary School, came out. He said to the teacher on duty, "Yes, yes, she is here to be the principal."

At the age of 29, I rode my bike to the post of principal. Before that, I didn't work as a primary school teacher for a day, and I didn't know how to be a principal.

I don't panic either. Since you haven't done it, do it according to your own ideas.

Establish a new team, recruit highly educated talents, and manage democratically, so that all teachers can participate in the development of the school as masters. ...

I don't follow the routine and subvert the tradition. Many people have complaints about me and keep reporting letters.

Once there was a school meeting, I sat on the temporary podium in the playground and spoke. I habitually took off my shoes and left barefoot ... Someone in the audience saw it and felt indecent, so I wrote a tip-off. Haha, my dad always said whether I was sitting or standing.

I think education should enlighten people, not restrain them. If education becomes a constraint on people, this is not allowed and that is not allowed, people's internal motivation will be obliterated. The child is at home, neither here nor there. When we get to school, it's not allowed here and it's not allowed there. Where is the vitality and motivation?

In May, 1998 was informed that West Lake Avenue would be widened and Shengli Primary School would be demolished. After multi-party negotiation, Shengli Primary School transited for two years in the factory building of Doufu Second Bridge. During the transitional period of these two years, we began to conceive of incubating Chongwen Experimental School.

I have always believed that school is not only a place to study, but also a place for students to communicate and activities. Life is education.

1997 From 2003, I served as the principal of Shengli Primary School for six years, and founded the first Chongwen Experimental School in China, which was specially designed for small class education. In 2003, I was appointed as the deputy director of Shangcheng District Education Bureau in Hangzhou, and went to Chicago to study for a master's degree in public administration the following year.

In 2007, the organization asked me to be the director of Shangcheng Education Bureau. 20 14, transferred to Hangzhou Education Bureau as deputy director.

I feel a little far away from the first-line schools, teachers and students. After thinking about it, I think it is still based on first-line education services.

2065438+In June 2007, I resigned as the deputy director of Hangzhou Education Bureau.

When I was one year old, my daughter asked us to take our children back to China. After discussion, the family made a decision: the daughter will continue to study for a doctor of medicine in the United States, and the son-in-law will return to China every few months.

20 19 12 I drove back to China with my little grandson.

Every month, we will hold an online family meeting to communicate the situation of our children this month. After reaching a consensus, we will attach a detailed list of parenting expenses.

I don't need my daughter and son-in-law to give us this money. I just want to tell them that this is the contribution of parents to the family.

Over the years, I have seen too many parents working hard for their children's enrollment. They care about which school ranks high, which school has good quality and how to get children to squeeze in.

They all say "Don't let the children lose at the starting line". Where did you get the starting line? It's not the parents' problem. Parents' improper behavior made children suffer greatly.

Parents are very busy, but they ignore the real needs of their children, the masters of learning.

Children have different growth needs at different ages. Do we know anything about children? Is appropriate support given?

Children come into this world, just like a blank sheet of paper, on which parents always scribble. 0-6 years old is the starting point of children's life and the most important cornerstone education.

Once, when I was visiting and studying in Hawaii, I met an old professor who had studied children's philosophy for more than 60 years, during which he also visited China many times.

He told me that the most important thing for us is to protect children's "curiosity", that is, curiosity and surprise about one thing. Curiosity is the driving force for children to explore the world.

Yes, children often ask: Why are animal ears different from human ears? Do the flowers and plants on the farm also need to drink water every day? Is there any way to keep people from getting sick? Why do adults always say that time passes too fast? Behind these problems is the precious curiosity of children, and all aspects of care cannot be overemphasized.

I have been thinking about a question before: what is the most important impact on education?

Now I have the answer: "warmth" and "motivation". These are the two most important indicators in my opinion.

Warm. Can you give enough love and support in the interaction with children? Can children feel the warmth? This will determine whether the child can establish the necessary sense of security and give warmth in his later life.

Power. Is your child's curiosity about the world protected by you? Did you encourage him to explore the unknown world? How much autonomy and choice did you give him? What role do you play in children's self-confidence?

Every child is real and alive, and every interaction with him is like watering a new bud.

The "warmth" index and the "motivation" index determine what a person wants to pursue, what he wants to change and what kind of person he wants to be. It fundamentally affects a person's development and hides the secret of children's happy growth.

One day, I was having tea with two entrepreneurs' friends. They said that a venue had just been renovated, and they didn't know whether to rent it or do an office.

I said, "Such a house should do something more meaningful, such as education."

The friend said cheerfully, "Well, I'll leave it to you."

We have reached a cooperation. I focused on education, and they stayed out of it. I am very grateful to them for providing this platform and giving me the opportunity to serve more families and children with my years of exploration of education.

We established Concord Kindergarten and Xinyang Kindergarten Concord Hall. "Heart yang" means "If the heart is sunny, there is infinite hope." Let children interact enthusiastically and explore freely. This is my initial intention.

0-3 years old is the key period for children to establish a sense of security, and it is the golden 1000 days for children. "Heart Yang" wants to give children a warm and free exploration environment.

We want to help more parents read and understand their children. For example, why do children bite? What is hidden behind is the child's unsatisfied emotional needs. For example, children throw things; The child's stubbornness; Children are unwilling to share; Adolescent rebellion ... there are 100 behaviors and 100 needs. The child is shouting to his parents in his own language: I need your love, and I am eager to be treated like this.

Unfortunately, 90% of parents can't understand their children's "language".

Children who can be read by their parents are happy. We can help parents understand their children.

To this end, we have developed a public welfare training course for parents of children aged 0-6 to teach parents how to be "smart parents" and help their children grow up happily.

The lecturers are: Professor Bian from Beijing Normal University and President Yu Guodi from Chongwen Experimental School.

We also spent a year on the "mom strength" assessment. You can test your mother's love ability, and we will make a detailed analysis and give your mother a report. We want to help more mothers understand themselves, their babies, the way babies love and how to love their children more appropriately.

Before, I was a naughty girl. After years of being a principal and director, I became a happy grandmother. Now, I want to share the educational experience explored in these years with more parents.

I have always believed that cultivating a good generation can benefit three generations.