Of course, there is a higher level of meta-anxiety, that is, anxiety. If you are anxious, am I too anxious? It is said that anxious parents will raise anxious children. In short, all kinds of uncertainties in the future are like the sword of Damocles that will fall at any time, swinging over our heads, so that we have to desperately build walls, accumulate food, enroll our children in various classes, and pave various roads for him to counter our fear of uncertainty.
There are also many parents' anxiety, which stems from "control desire" and wants to "create" an ideal child in some way. This is an impossible task. An independent person does things out of his own interest, passion, values, meaning of life and self-identity, so his life is full of positive emotions.
So how should we relieve anxiety? 1, I believe that many parents of children are caught in this? Dead end? I think children with poor grades can't get into a good high school, a good university or a good job, and this life is over! When parents are busy enrolling in cram schools, arranging summer camps and snapping up exercises, when parents help their children pave the way, they forget their children's ideas and believe that their children's future will be better.
Achievement is not a criterion for judging a child's quality, and learning is not a criterion for determining a child's future. Everyone has his own light point, which is useless in learning, and may be quite accomplished in music, art and so on. God is fair, and everyone's luminous point is potential from the beginning, which needs to be discovered slowly. God is unfair, and every child has a different starting point.
Believing in children is also a science, in short:
Encourage children to fly high, but don't be willful.
Support your child's decision, but not without satisfaction in principle.
Believe that children do better, but don't blindly obey.
2. Be yourself
After having children, I began to have a new semester? Father, mother? My mind is full of children and I ignore myself.
Speaking of this, many parents don't agree. In other words, it can be understood as? Distract? (Pay attention to the problem and how to alleviate the educational anxiety)
To put it bluntly, this method is to reduce the pressure on parents, draw their attention back and do what they want to do. Of course, it's not that I don't care about my children at all. I just do what I want to do in my spare time after doing my mother's duty and taking good care of my children. If you want to achieve children, you must first learn to achieve yourself.
Step 3 communicate and listen
It is easier said than done to communicate doubts with children and listen to their inner voices!
Children's hidden voices are mostly suppressed because of their parents' negation. Similarly, when children speak their true thoughts, parents often shake their heads and integrate communication? Correct mistakes? .
Are children interested in courses that fail the exam? What is the child's attitude towards learning? What are children's hobbies? Wait ..... If the child is a little extreme and doesn't want to do it if he doesn't like it, then parents can communicate with their children and enlighten them slowly instead of imposing their own ideas on them.
Remember: excellent parents worry that their children are not good enough to achieve the expected goals; Ordinary parents worry that their children are not good enough and are as mediocre as themselves. Education is a kind of letting nature take its course, a kind of pushing the boat with the current, rather than rushing for success, and the result is counterproductive.