First, keenly capture children's setbacks.
"Frustration" may be different things for children and parents. The frustration in the eyes of parents may be that they didn't do well in the exam, or failed in the game, and so on. The frustration in children's eyes may be that children at school don't play with themselves, or their favorite pencils are missing.
Only when parents know what their children's setbacks are can they realize that their children's lives are actually full of setbacks, and there is really no need to artificially create setbacks.
Second, in the face of setbacks, parents should give their children emotional support and agree to ease their emotions.
When encountering difficulties or making mistakes, everyone will inevitably feel sad and depressed. Therefore, parents should understand their children emotionally, rather than blindly accusing or being completely negative. When children have negative emotions, parents should learn to identify with these emotions, and don't let children feel guilty because of these emotions. Ask the child, "Oh, I understand you. How do you feel? " Encourage children to express their true feelings, accept their emotions face to face and vent them in an appropriate way.
Or parents can share their feelings when they encounter similar setbacks and how they came out. Let the child feel that in the face of setbacks, he is not alone in a dark alley, but has unconditional acceptance and support from his family. Let children gradually learn to express and treat setbacks.
Third, children realize that failure and mistakes are a part of life.
In addition to emotional support, parents need to give their children cognitive support to make them realize that failure and mistakes are an inevitable part of life, and disappointment and sadness are also emotions we often experience. The key is how to treat them.
Parents' attitude towards failure determines children's attitude towards failure and frustration. If parents feel that mistakes are unforgivable, it is difficult for children to get rid of negative emotions and take positive actions; On the other hand, parents think that mistakes are not terrible. The key is to learn from mistakes and how to make progress. Children will also follow their parents to resolve their negative emotions and take positive actions.
Fourth, cultivate children's growth thinking mode of "solving problems".
Parents should not only cultivate their children to learn to gradually resolve their emotions, but also cultivate their children's thinking mode of "I need to solve problems".
For example, a child went to a competition in China, but he only made it to the regional finals, not to the national finals. Immature children will collapse and feel that they are not good enough and fail; At this time, parents need to remind their children to learn to shift their attention from "immersing themselves in their emotions" to "thinking about how to solve problems". Guide children to think about their own advantages and disadvantages and make up for them in time. Everything will eventually fall on "solving the problem". This way of thinking is very important.
In short, in order to cultivate children's ability to cope with setbacks, parents must provide all-round support-emotional support, cognitive support and thinking mode support, which must be integrated and applied in real life. Children's development is a long-term process, and many factors are intertwined. Parents need keen observation and integration ability. Only in this way can children be prepared to face setbacks, have the courage and strategies to cope with setbacks, and tide over the difficulties smoothly.