Emotionally, we often can't accept and understand the mistakes made by children, especially those that seem obvious.

On the one hand, because we pursue the perfection of children too much, we always hope that children will have no shortcomings and no mistakes. Once we see that a child has made a mistake or done something wrong, we often take it for granted that the problem is "intentional" by the child. For us who love children deeply, it seems that we have suffered a strong impact, which is emotionally difficult to accept and understand.

Due to the huge psychological gap, we will subconsciously put away the gentle side, take a tough approach, loudly reprimand and criticize the children, and sometimes find fault, constantly amplifying some small mistakes in the children's behavior, even to the point of going online.

From a psychological point of view, when a child makes a mistake or does something wrong, parents loudly reprimand and criticize him in front of the child, and the child will feel extremely insecure, which will not help solve the problem and will only lead to two results. One is that children are scared by their parents' anger, and they only have fear in their hearts, and they have no idea to reflect on their mistakes at all; One is to ignite the child's emotions, and the child completely ignores the possible consequences and ignores the criticism of parents, leading to parent-child conflicts.

We should realize that in the process of children's growth, children will inevitably make mistakes or do wrong things. Parents should first treat their children's mistakes rationally. In this case, parents can control and ease their children's emotions.

Parents should know how to accept their children's emotions.

Generally speaking, when children make mistakes or do wrong things, they are in the most vulnerable and stressful time, and they urgently need the acceptance of their parents. If they don't accept their emotions, even if we put forward many suggestions that sound right to children, they may not be able to accept them.

At this time, we might as well change the way of education, first accept the children's emotions, wait until the children's emotions are completely calm and stable, and then guide the children to face up to their mistakes, then the situation will be very different, and usually we can receive better educational results.

When educating children, we should also help them establish a sense of rules.

Some children will deliberately make some principled mistakes. For such mistakes, it is obviously more important to establish a sense of rules for children than simple and rude criticism and negative labels. Helping children establish a sense of rules can at least make them understand where they are wrong.

Leave some room for children to think.

Some children may just make mistakes unconsciously or do something wrong, and he has no subjective idea of making mistakes. In the face of such children with mistakes, parents should not only explain the truth to their children, but also leave some room for reflection on the basis of guidance.

This is because this unconscious mistake is not really a mistake, but a behavioral deviation caused by some objective reason. Since it is only a deviation in behavior, it is essentially different from intentional principled mistakes. Leaving a certain space for reflection for children can help children to think and analyze their behavior objectively.

Parents should pay attention to specific behaviors.

When a child does something wrong, we should not only point out the problem to the child, but also give him specific behavior guidance. Specifically includes the following aspects:

First, point out the problem to children and let them know where they are wrong; The second is to express the true feelings of parents at this time to the children, which will cause the children's guilt; Third, treat children with empathy and arouse their emotional resonance; The fourth is to understand the real purpose or needs of children; The fifth is to find a solution to children's problems. Children's sense of participation can dilute and eliminate the sense of conflict; Sixth, establish a good sense of rules and never make the same mistake again. Teach children to make mistakes and never touch the bottom line of personal injury.

There is a mistake that can't be easily made, that is, causing personal injury to others. For example, a girl in a primary school in Yuzhou was recently forced to put a piece of paper in her eyes by a male classmate, and so on.

Parents should clearly show their children that mistakes have a bottom line, that is, they can't cause personal injury to others, especially those younger than themselves. This is an unforgivable mistake.

As the ancients said, people are not sages, to err is human. In fact, it is completely normal for children to make mistakes.

We adults still grow up from mistakes. Why can't we allow our children to make small mistakes occasionally when they grow up?