Many people find that while girls are becoming more and more "wild", there are more and more "literary" boys.
"Wen Qi" used to be a special word for good boys, but more and more boys' parents gradually dislike hearing others praise their sons with this word.
Because the word "literary spirit", at best, means "careful, quiet, gentle and considerate", but these words are originally reserved for girls. The bad side is "timid, timid, insecure and irresponsible", and even a little "sissy".
This puts pressure on the boy's parents.
There are more and more "literary" boys. What's going on here?
Why are boys becoming more and more "literary"
On the small playground of the kindergarten, the children are playing. A mother, her eyes chasing a little boy.
The boy and his companion are playing scooter, but he doesn't have a good balance. He stumbled and dared not get on the bus again. He seems to want to play, but he dare not. Mother seemed annoyed and frowned.
At this time, the parents on the side muttered: "My daughter, who climbs up and down all day, looks like a tomboy. I really can't help her. " This sentence was like a fuse, which ignited her. The mother came forward and scolded her son sharply: "Why are you so timid? Not like a man at all! "
This kind of scene is really too common. Many parents of boys find that when introducing their sons, the frequency of using words such as "careful, quiet, gentle and considerate" is getting higher and higher, and these adjectives were originally exclusive to girls.
Boys are timid, timid, insecure, lack of sense of responsibility, and even a little "sissy". There are more and more such boys. What happened?
Shen Hangkai, director of Shengli Garden of Hangzhou Shengli Preschool Education Group, is doing a topic about little boys recently. In the investigation of kindergarten boys, she found that boys should have their own characteristics, but now they are weakening or even disappearing.
"Some boys are more sensitive than girls." Dean Shen remembers that once a boy came home and said angrily to his mother, "It's not good to be a boy. I won't go to kindergarten tomorrow! " The reason why the boy is angry is that he quarreled with the girl, and the teacher always asks him to "let the girl go".
There are also some boys who are more meticulous than girls. When eating, they must spit out the dregs. There are also some timid boys who dare not take part in slightly challenging activities, and the proportion of timid boys who answer questions is not small.
Kindergarten education should be different for men and women.
"The lack of male teachers in kindergartens is a factor." Shen Yuanchang analyzed that there are also some misunderstandings in the educational concept of kindergarten teachers.
In kindergartens, teachers give equal education to children of different sexes. In the past, teachers rarely considered gender factors, and they also started from traditional concepts when evaluating children's grades, without emphasizing the gender differences between boys and girls.
Shen Yuanchang gave an example. For example, the "wrist flower" action that kindergarten children want to learn is an action of turning the wrist outwards, which is to exercise the big muscles of children's hands.
Almost all kindergarten teachers are women. When demonstrating, their actions are gentle, and when praising children, they always use sentences like "well done".
"This gentle movement is suitable for girls, not for boys." Shen Yuanchang said that now teachers will treat men and women differently when teaching this movement. Instruct the boy to turn the gentle rotation into a powerful outward push. When praising boys, they will also use masculine words such as "as flexible as a gear, so strong".
For another example, every classroom in kindergarten has a performance area. If you look closely, you will find that the props are all flowers, which is very suitable for girls to play with. "Now, add some hats, guns, flags and so on. For example, playing flags is very suitable for boys to perform. "
Shen Yuanchang said that after realizing that some behaviors of boys in the class are inappropriate, teachers will modify their educational methods.
"Although boys of the same age are weaker than girls in language ability and action coordination. However, we found that boys are more interested in exploring toy shapes and some scientific activities, and they are more focused on doing something. " Director Shen thinks it is necessary to offer some courses and games suitable for boys in kindergartens, which was neglected in the past.
A mother should know how to show weakness in front of her son.
"The boy's' weakness' is also closely related to his parents' parenting style." Shen Yuanchang found that there are also very masculine boys in the kindergarten, who are "generous and relatively independent". She found that the family education of these children is more democratic and relaxed, "parents and children discuss it."
"Everything is arranged by parents, and there are two tendencies. One is "lawless" type. For example, a boy, whether in kindergarten or at home, tied my shoelaces and tied them with his feet when they were loose. The other is atrophy, and no matter what you do, you are very weak. "
"Now the mother is too strong, everything is for her son. In fact, the mother showed weakness in front of her son and gave her son some opportunities to stimulate the boy's potential. " Shen Yuanchang believes that many families are now busy with their fathers and lack of education for their children, and their mothers are the top leaders at home and abroad. In the long run, "arrangement" will suppress the potential of boys.
In fact, a mother can show weakness at an appropriate time and tell her son that you are a man. You should protect and help your mother. For example, Director Shen said that if you go to the supermarket to buy things, you can give them to your children. When doing some housework, let the children do it. Of course, fathers should also have more contact with boys, and setting an example is the way to be a good example of male chauvinism.
"Don't be afraid of tired children. Children have great potential, especially boys. Nowadays, the general educational habits cover up the characteristics of boys and have no chance to play them out. We should create some opportunities for boys as much as possible. "Shen Yuanchang said that every boy has many small motors in his body, so that he can become a real man by making these motors work.