In recent years, with Tomb-Sweeping Day becoming a public holiday and the discussion and concern about "how to respect every life", parents pay more and more attention to talking about death with their children. However, they still have a lot of concerns: can children be so young that they can understand? Will it scare the children? This topic is too abstract, how to tell it to children? ..... At the same time, there are still a large number of parents who think that their children are still young, have never seen or know such a thing at all, let alone adults.
This is just an adult's idea. I don't know that although children are young, they will be exposed to "death" through stories or cartoons. They may have many questions: "Why do people die?" "What happens when people die?" Dr. Zhang Shumei, a professor and doctor of education at Kaohsiung Normal University in Taiwan Province, has been engaged in infant death education for many years. In the article "The Concept and Implementation of Children's Life Education", she pointed out that children will have the concept of death when they are about 4 years old. If they can't get the correct guidance from their parents or teachers, they will easily have a wrong understanding of death, which will lead to negative emotions and affect their lives. Therefore, it is very necessary and important to educate children about life.
So, how to properly communicate and exchange with children on such topics? In fact, there are many ways, but if you want to do it well, the core is "love"! This love means understanding, respect, empathy and equal treatment.
I remember taking a child with me, and he was unhappy for a long time. Every time his parents answered, he said to himself, "Grandpa didn't come to pick me up again." Looks lost. Seeing this, I communicated with my parents. It turned out that the child's grandfather passed away. Grandpa had a very good relationship with his children when he was alive. His family didn't dare or know how to tell them, so they kept it a secret.
When the child asks about grandpa, he says that grandpa has gone out for a trip. If you are anxious, you will be annoyed by your children; Then, with delicious and fun coaxing, parents feel that their children will forget it after a long time. But delicious and fun things can only be used for a while, and children are still unhappy every day.
My mother said to me in tears, "Teacher, we all don't know what to do with him, whether to say it or not." Do you know anything about this child? "Looking at my anxious and sad parents, I had an in-depth exchange with her and suggested that she could chat with her children:" Son, mom found that you were in a bad mood recently. What's wrong? If the child already knows that his loved one has passed away, he can say, "Son, grandpa left us, and mom is as sad as you." After making it clear to the child that Grandpa can't meet us (maybe we can meet in a dream), if the child is sad and tears, the mother should hug the child and tell him calmly that people, like all plants and animals, have to go through the process of birth, growth and death.
After that, we can watch photos or videos with our relatives, recall the good old days, and tell our children that their love will always be with us, and we should live in the way our relatives want. I also recommended some picture books to her, such as Grow Up to Be a Good Grandpa, A Fallen Leaf, Travel, and so on, so that she could take them home and read them with her children.
After a while, when my mother came to pick up the child, she said to me, "teacher, I told him that he was crying badly;" Then he said to me, I want to see grandpa; You said, can you take him to the cemetery? " I said, "trust the child and satisfy his wishes. "So, when they were in Tomb-Sweeping Day, the whole family went to the cemetery to see grandpa. The child put the flowers in front of his grandfather's grave and said to him, "Grandpa, don't worry, I will be a good grandfather when I grow up!" " "This is Love, Farewell to Love and Inheritance of Love; Children know that living a good life is the best memory of their deceased relatives, so they will cherish and love life more.
Once, I read the story of the elephant father with my children. When talking about Sister Mouse's reluctance to let Father Elephant leave to repair the damaged wooden bridge, I asked the children, "Why doesn't Sister Mouse repair the bridge?" A child said, "She can't fix it." But most children said, "Sister Mouse doesn't want Father Elephant to leave her." I asked again, "Should the bridge be built?" The children were silent for a while, and some said, "No need to fix it. Ask a doctor to see grandpa. When he is well, he won't have to cross the bridge. " Some said, "It should be repaired. Uncle Xiang is old and can't be cured, so he can go to heaven by building a bridge. " Some said: "The bridge needs to be repaired, which is like the wish of the old man. It is necessary to help him finish it." ..... Listening to the children's discussion, you will find that the children are so caring! During the discussion, they also began to understand how to accept the aging and parting of life.
In addition, on March 8th, we invited children to see photos of their mothers' pregnancy and childhood, and listened to their mothers' stories about their childhood, so as to guide them to know that it is not easy to conceive and be born. Every life is different and unique. We should thank our parents for raising us, and we should also respect every child who is different from us. We should not look down on others, especially underdeveloped children or disabled people, because of our own strengths.
Usually help grandparents at home, understand the inconvenience caused by their age, and are willing to take care of them often; On the Double Ninth Festival, I went to the nursing home to express my condolences to my grandparents and cherish every companionship. The small fish at home died, so find a quiet place to bury with the children, insert the small tombstone made by the children, and feel the respect and nostalgia for every life; The pet at home is old and sick, and it is really impossible to save it. You can discuss with your children how to help them. In such activities, children not only learn how to treat and respect life, but more importantly, guide them to discover and perceive the beauty of life.
Life is precious to everyone. Life education is to let children know how to cherish, respect and respect life while realizing the finiteness and uniqueness of life, so as to gradually embody and realize the value of life.
The original text was published in the 4 th issue of Preschool Education in 2020 (Tutor Edition).