From April 19 to April 2 1 Sunday, a three-episode documentary called Mirror was broadcast on CCTV 12 Channel Skynet, with the theme of reflecting children's education.

A film reflecting children's education problems is a bit difficult to understand in the column of Skynet, because the column of Skynet is dedicated to playing criminal case documentaries.

But if you think about it carefully, this arrangement seems to have some truth, that is, if there are serious problems in children's education, children are likely to embark on the road of crime.

According to the director and creator of this documentary, this documentary has been brewing for nearly ten years and has been filmed for more than two years. It's incredible that a documentary with only three episodes took so long. But it also shows the hard work of the creative staff for this film.

Parents who are concerned about their children's education are advised to take a good look at this documentary. I believe that each of our parents can find their own shadow from the parents of three families in the film, which will certainly inspire them to educate their children.

02

This documentary records the story of three boys with serious behavior problems and their parents. They dropped out of school and were sent to a training school in Wuhan for behavior correction.

The three boys are:

Jia Ming, 16 years old, from Hubei, is a senior one student. He dropped out of school for more than a month and surfed the Internet all day. His ideal is to be a backpacker and a wandering singer.

Zhao Zhang, 18 years old, born in Hebei, is a senior three student. She dropped out of school for four months because of puppy love and internet addiction. She has a girlfriend, drives her parents out of the house and lives at home with her girlfriend.

Zeqing, 14 years old, lives in Guangdong, and is a junior two student. He dropped out of school and stayed at home for two months. He likes playing military chess and has a violent tendency. He beat his mother many times and kicked the door of his house to pieces.

Let's analyze why these three children have come to this step with my observation.

03

Jiaming's family conditions are very good. His parents are both undergraduates. His father works in a public institution and his mother works in a state-owned enterprise. The couple have a good relationship. His grandparents are professors at Hubei University.

It is said that Jiaming has a good family environment and a good relationship with his parents. He is an intellectual family. Even his grandparents are senior intellectuals. Why do children in such families have such serious problems?

In fact, many families with highly educated parents are equally prone to problems in educating their children. The most common problem in these families is parental control over their children.

Jiaming's parents are the most typical controlling parents. Children have no autonomy. Everything must be approved by them, and even things like buying clothes are not allowed for children to decide.

Jia Ming is talking about his parents' control over him.

The main problems of Jiaming's parents are as follows:

1, do not give children the opportunity to exercise themselves.

2. Have children according to your own wishes.

3. Don't give children autonomy

4. Too many arranged substitutes

5. Keep your word.

The above practices seriously inhibit the development of children's personality, make children's emotions always depressed, and make children lose the opportunity to exercise themselves. Jia Ming's dropping out of school is a strong resistance to parental control.

04

Zhao Zhang's father has a college education and works in a state-owned enterprise. His mother has a high school education and is self-employed.

Because Zhao Zhang's parents are busy with their work, they don't take care of their children and rarely communicate with them, which makes their children's feelings have nowhere to put. This is the main reason for his puppy love.

Their main questions are:

1, the relationship between husband and wife is not good, and they often quarrel, which makes the children feel the warmth of the family.

2. Too little communication with children. When I go home, I only know how to watch TV, and my child's mood can't be relieved in time.

They are all busy with their work, neglecting to take care of their children, and they lack the care of their parents.

Zhao Zhang said that his father and mother always quarreled.

Zhao Zhang said that his parents watch TV at home as well as TV.

Due to the above reasons, Zhao Zhang's feelings have nowhere to pin, so he meets his emotional needs by looking for a girlfriend; Because of his dissatisfaction with his parents, he is always in an emotional state of opposition to his parents, and it is difficult to communicate well with them. So he is not in the mood to study, which is the main reason why he dropped out of school.

05

Zeqing's parents also graduated from college. My father is a manager of a private enterprise, and my mother is the backbone of a hospital.

Supposedly, Zeqing's family situation is still very good, and his parents are literate people, but why should he educate a junior two child like this?

I think there are several reasons:

1. Bad relationship between husband and wife is the main reason. Because of bad relations, neither of them wants to go home after work. What does it feel like for a child to return to such a family?

2. Zeqing's mother is very incompetent, because the relationship between husband and wife is not good and she is in a bad mood, so she lacks care for her children, resulting in no one to take care of them.

The Zeqing family are all very successful people. So he was indoctrinated by his parents from childhood to be successful when he grew up. So he is under great psychological pressure.

4. The bad relationship between husband and wife leads both sides to ignore the existence of children. Children take violence, surfing the internet and dropping out of school to attract their parents' attention to prove their existence, which is the real reason for their dropping out of school.

Zeqing said that his mother didn't value him.

Ze Qing said: "They (his parents) will actually stay in the training camp for 865,438+0 days, and I may only need to stay for six days." This sentence shows that he can see clearly that the problem lies with his parents.

Therefore, Zeqing's problem is mainly caused by the bad relationship between parents. From this case, we can see how important a good husband-wife relationship is to the growth of a healthy child.

06

Such a weak girl also said, "I don't want to be controlled."

The above three situations are typical. Jiaming's parents are controlling parents. Zhao Zhang and Zeqing's parents are neglected parents, and they will do great harm to their children's psychology.

All three children have tenacious vitality and rebellious spirit. They all declared war on their parents with their own actions (dropping out of school), eventually forcing their parents to pay attention to their problems, and then let them realize their existing problems, so they will reflect on themselves and embark on the road of change.

If these three children are conquered by their parents, do not resist, and suppress their dissatisfaction with their parents, it is a high probability event that they will have psychological obstacles and social adaptation problems when they grow up.

Of course, most children's problems are not so serious, and they have not dropped out of school at home. Most children reflect the problems in family education through poor academic performance or minor behavior problems.

Because of this, many of our parents may not realize that their children have problems. Just because they don't drop out of school and have no serious confrontation with their parents doesn't mean that there is no problem with their education.

Children are a mirror of the family, and problems within the family are often reflected through children. Behind every unworthy child, there must be a family with problems.

In rural areas, when looking for a daughter-in-law for a son, people will ask about the family relationship of the woman, especially the girl's mother. This is also very reasonable.

Therefore, if you want to educate your children well, you must start with running your own family.