But this information society makes us very confused. Some books will say that children can read early, while others will say that early literacy will kill children's imagination. Some parenting classes will tell parents that children are eager to eat their hands, and some experts will say that children are eager to eat their hands. A lot of information makes us struggle with contradictions. Even people who have experienced many workplace battles will be at a loss when they become parents, and they will be anxious about their children's enrollment, growth, study and communication.
As a mother of two children, she began to learn all kinds of parenting books at the age of 25, organized children's reading clubs, taught children and parents mind mapping courses, and participated in various parenting trainings herself. Along the way, I will find that every child is different, and I also realize that every parent is different and every family atmosphere is different. All kinds of differences mean that as parents, we should choose parenting information according to our own characteristics and must apply it to ourselves.
I can gradually understand what I need from parenting books and gradually form a parenting concept suitable for children. I can adjust myself by reading the following seven books and become a carefree and resourceful mother.
0 1 Love and Freedom
When the mother gets through the discomfort in the early pregnancy and waits for the arrival of the newborn with joy every day, parents will begin to imagine how to raise the child in the future. Our generation of only-child parents have been disciplined by parents and teachers since childhood, and we look forward to giving our children full love.
But when we become parents, we will face a lot of confusion. For example, if a child puts something in his mouth, the old people at home will scare the child. Do you want children to feel with their mouths? Why do children like to let their mothers tell a book over and over again in one night? How should we keep children disciplined instead of jumping around in the classroom? These are not problems that parents can solve with a word of love. It is necessary to understand the law of children's development, know how to follow the law of children's development, and let children really grow up in a free atmosphere.
The author Sun Ruixue is a leading figure in Montessori education in China. The book Love and Freedom was formed on the basis of her extensive practice. There are thousands of children's observation bases, and the base of observation samples is absolutely large, so that the law of children's development can be discovered. This book is by no means to let parents ignore their children, but to let them know about their children, let them explore their interests and find what they like.
Just like the chapter on freedom and discipline, it will tell parents that with freedom, children will choose what they are interested in; Because he is interested, he will do it repeatedly and become focused; In the long-term concentration, he gradually perceived and grasped the law of things; Grasping the laws of things, he is willing to abide by them and has self-control. What kind of discipline can surpass this discipline?
Of course, when reading the book "Love and Freedom", it is best to cooperate with another book by the author to capture the sensitive period of children (/1 1240077.html), which is divided into 0-2.5 years old, 2.5 years old -3 years old, 4 -5 years old, 5 -6 years old and over 6 years old.
02 "Give Children Freedom"
In the 1980s, our generation just experienced the integration of Chinese and Western concepts. Living in China, we can learn about foreign educational ideas through news and books. We are eager for children's free development, not bound by China's education system. Then the book "Give Children Freedom" written by Xiaowu just describes the early education under the collision of Chinese and Western concepts.
After we have our own children, whether to use diapers has become a tangled problem for us. People around us often say that using diapers affects children's development and should be done, but we don't want children to use diapers to make their buttocks red or get stuck in the pain of washing diapers all day. It is often said that children can be weaned after 6 months. After 6 months, breast milk will have no nutrition, and the elderly at home will say that breastfeeding is good for children. After having children, similar arguments are endless. As young parents, they are entangled in these discussions all day.
The author of "Give Children Freedom" is a transnational marriage, so in the process of raising children, we can experience different parenting methods in China and the West. After reading this book, I believe many parents will not fully agree with it, but it is because of her different descriptions that parents can find the differences and explore what children are like and what methods are applicable. Perhaps the author will say that it is ok for children not to sleep at noon, but it is necessary for some children to sleep at noon, so parents should think about what is best for their children by reading books.
Any book about raising children will mention the word "freedom". As parents, we should realize that we must look for the premise of "freedom" in books, and how to give children freedom is by no means laissez-faire.
03 "magical years" l
This book is a parenting bible that has influenced three generations of mothers. It has been selling well in America for 50 years. By reading this book, we can understand the spiritual world of children aged 0-6. As novice parents, no one has ever given us training, and there is no organization to let us practice before taking up our posts. Suddenly there is a little life that needs our care, care and education. Therefore, parents need to have a book to consider parenting from the perspective of current psychological theory and research.
If other parenting books let parents know about children's specific behaviors and the first half of the iceberg model of parenting, then the book Magic Years is the second half of exploring the iceberg, analyzing children's spiritual life, and summarizing parenting principles from children's development laws and social and cultural habits.
I especially like the chapter "out of step with civilization" in this book. The answer is: baby crying, hugging or not hugging, feeding on demand or feeding on time, understanding baby's separation worries, parents making rules and starting defecation training. These are all knowledge that newborn parents must master. Each part tells parents when to do what and how to do it through cases and a lot of experiments.
In the fourth act of the book "The Last Magic", three aspects rarely mentioned in domestic parenting books are also expounded in a scientific way, including "falling in love with parents", how curious children should be about sex, and conscience is not innate. I believe many parents can dialectically think about how to raise their children through this textbook-style parenting book.
04 "Reading Manual"
I like the subtitle of this book-reading aloud for children. When it comes to parenting, we have to talk about children's reading. I believe that parents of older children will find how important reading is to their children, so when children are young, besides eating and drinking Lazar, only reading is the most important thing.
I have two children of my own. When my eldest daughter was young, I also organized many baby reading parties. As a senior mother who leads her babies to read, Reading Manual is a book that I strongly recommend.
The book tells parents why to read aloud, when to start reading aloud and how to read aloud. In addition, a reading list is attached to the back of the book. This reading list was invited by A Jia, the founder of Red Mud Reading Club, a domestic children's reading expert, and Wang Lin, a doctor of children's literature at Beijing Normal University.
The bibliography of picture books recommended by them is the beginning of my contact with picture books. I bought hundreds of picture books for my children according to the bibliography, such as Guess how much I love you, Crocodiles are afraid of dentists, runaway rabbits, rainbow-colored flowers and cats on fire 1 10,000 times, and I spent a wonderful reading time with my daughter every day. Later, when my daughter grew up, I insisted on reading to her children according to the book. After she became literate, I read some interesting books, such as my little sister Clara, and felt mindless and unhappy for her. Every night, my daughter and I spend our time reading happily.
Parent-child reading is the best way to raise children. It not only enhances the relationship between parents and children, but also conveys parents' emotional reading and profound understanding of these books to children, which will eventually become their lifelong wealth.
"Come on, kids."
This is a book written by the famous writer Chi Li. Why do you recommend this book? Because as children grow up, parents' focus is no longer on eating and drinking Lazarus, but on their learning and skills. We will compare our children with other people's children, and we will gradually forget that we once vowed to let our children be free. As long as they are happy, we will not learn anything!
But in the end, it can't compete with the real environment. When we see other people's children learning piano, art, dance, math, etc. We are also in a hurry. We always compare ourselves unconsciously. I have had this feeling, especially when the child is 4 years old, which is an acceptable age for many training courses. I will be anxious about what to let my children learn. What will be useful in the future?
Thanks to the book "Come on, Children" that I read during that time, my anxiety suddenly calmed down a lot. This is a documentary book written by an ordinary mother rather than an education expert, which naturally describes her love for her daughter through words. Every mother's troubles will be found in the book, such as taking the first step into society in the face of her child's natural personality weakness: kindergarten, sudden encounter with junior high school restructuring, a desirable middle school and so on.
This book is really not a sermon book, but a process in which the author and daughter experience, struggle and adapt together. Most importantly, this book not only describes the children's early years, but also lengthens the time, allowing us to feel the process of a girl's growth. When we see that Chi Li's daughter has found her hobby-photography, loves the education of foreign schools and dares to explore strange cities, we will find that our anxiety will be calmed down. We grow up with our children, and any difficulties, bumps and twists and turns are the most expensive for us and our children!
A good mother is better than a good teacher.
I believe every mother wants to be a good mother, so what is the standard of a good mother? Yin Jianli's "A good mother is better than a good teacher" provides us with many simple and practical methods. This book is definitely one of the books that every parent must read.
The first chapter, how to improve the quality of love, solved many parents' problems at once. I did the injection exactly according to the author's method. When my daughter went to the hospital for an injection when she was young, we would clearly tell her that it would hurt, but she could feel that it was actually tolerable. After several times, my daughter had no fear. Later, when she was older, she could bear the water of Huoxiang Zhengqi that even adults could not drink.
Another part of this book focuses on telling parents of school children how to cultivate their children's good study habits. The book puts forward some small methods, such as "not worthy" to cultivate good habits, not writing "violent homework", not "working hard" in study, and not rewarding after reading. In fact, it is not difficult to be a good parent. As long as you are careful, you will always solve your child's learning difficulties.
I sincerely hope that every parent can read this book. In the author's words, parents should have the wisdom to be parents. Parents control the fate of their children. Any plan to change children must start with changing parents themselves.
07 "children will listen to what they say, and they will say what they listen to."
As children grow older, parent-child communication will become a very important aspect. On the one hand, parents are getting older and older, and their ideological differences with their children are becoming more and more obvious. On the other hand, children gradually enter various sensitive periods and adolescence. When we as parents can't communicate with our children in words, many problems will arise.
The best thing about this book is that it provides practical methods. Parents must practice according to the methods proposed by the author and integrate these methods into daily communication.
Every chapter of this book will introduce ways to communicate with children, including:
? Four ways to help children face their feelings;
? Five ways to encourage children to cooperate with us;
? Seven methods of substituting punishment;
? Six ways to encourage children to stand on their own feet;
? Three ways to praise children;
? Six ways to liberate children from fixed roles.
Through the methods introduced in the book, as well as practicing at home and recording your own answers, the results of communication will gradually emerge. Through these practices, we can truly turn the contents and skills in the book into parents' own parenting methods.