Hello, let me answer your question. Before answering the question, I think your question should be revised.
The word "like" is debatable. I guess you mean "used to it". In my opinion, it is completely different to like to beat and scold children and to be used to beating and scolding children. "Like" has subjective initiative, while "habit" is just a kind of behavioral inertia and has certain passivity.
It may be more appropriate to delete the word "insult", because I think that under normal circumstances, parents will not insult their children, and they do beat and scold, but the purpose of beating and cursing is not to insult, but to punish and educate.
So, why are some parents (only some) always used to beating and scolding their children? Two reasons.
Unconscious inheritance of ancestral family education. Some parents sometimes receive violent family education. This kind of education has left a deep imprint on their subconscious, but when they become parents, they actually do it unconsciously without considering whether the method is appropriate or not.
This kind of family education is the traditional so-called filial son under the stick. This concept is out of date, and most parents can keep pace with the times in the new era, but some parents do stick to the rules and are deeply rooted.
Note that this kind of parents has nothing to do with literacy, so do many literate parents, and they are stubborn, even more stubborn than those without literacy.
Some parents are always in a strong position in life because of the dignity of their elders under strong personality. No matter at home, at work, or in his social circle, he has the final say, and whatever he says is what he says.
Parents with such a strong personality make them especially accustomed to obeying orders when disciplining their children. When children disobey orders, they are "guilty" and they have to stop them in order to obey.
This kind of parents' education for their children will always only look at the children from their own point of view, and will not think from the children's point of view.
The above two situations, the first one is mostly, belonging to the social collective unconscious, so for generations. To tell the truth, how many people have never been scolded by their parents since childhood? A little more.
When I was a child, I was not sensible, and I was full of resentment when I often beat and scolded my parents, but as long as it was not particularly serious, I could generally understand and let it go when I grew up. Some people will be grateful, but not many people will leave a serious psychological shadow.
So here, we are going to talk about the purpose of parents beating and scolding their children. Both parents want their children to be well. Beating and cursing is just a means of education. Although out of date, they didn't mean to insult their children.
Hello, I'm Teacher @ Du Yue, and I like reading books and writing about my education and teaching experiences and feelings. Welcome attention! )
This may be traced back to the parents' growing experience. Maybe they grew up in an environment of abuse and humiliation, so their behavior is the same. This is the so-called influence of family background on a person, so I met such parents:
First of all, try to adjust your behavior, don't touch your parents' bottom line, and don't irritate your parents;
Secondly, convince people by reasoning afterwards, try to make your parents understand your feelings and let them slowly change their wrong behavior.
Strengthen your heart again, weaken the negative influence of your parents' behavior by studying and reading, and avoid repeating your parents' mistakes.
First of all, thank you very much for giving me this opportunity to answer questions!
Personally, it is because parents feel that they are not strong enough, have no correct guidance and solutions to problems, and have released their incompetent emotions.
This is my opinion. I may think I'm a little harsh, but combined with my own experience, it is.
Tortured by domestic violence since childhood. When I was young, my father beat my mother, and then he beat me. Took a few strokes with a stick and dragged me on the road. What impressed me most was coming home from school in primary school. I seem to have done something wrong, so my father made me slap myself. He sat opposite, looked at me calmly and said to me, yes, fan hard! Smoke hard!
At that time, I looked like a few grades in primary school and felt that my life was particularly dark.
When I was in primary school, he often called me shit. When I am old, I still feel inferior and feel that no one will love me when I am alive.
My father was still violent until I graduated from high school. Then I worked, and he was still very violent. I don't know why he suddenly broke out. Fortunately, he is too old to beat me.
Because of my father's domestic violence all the year round, I feel that I have failed particularly, and my personality is weak and timid. Fortunately, I have adjusted myself a lot since I fell in love.
However, I found that parents who are too strict with their children usually regard women as part of themselves, feel that their children make them lose face, and vent their bad emotions by beating and cursing. Didn't take into account that children also have their own feelings. Children also have self-esteem and children are human beings.
Maybe it's the deep love and hate! This feeling of hating iron and not turning into steel may not be realized until you become someone else's parents. ...
1, traditional education concept, traditional education concept
Undeniably, traditional educational concepts still have a subtle influence on us, such as "don't beat the abrasive" and "a dutiful son is born under the stick". Because in the traditional concept, the relationship between parents and children is up and down, and there is no concept of respecting children and getting along on an equal footing. The respect of traditional culture is mostly placed on getting along with peers, but it is very lacking in parent-child relationship.
2. Poor self-emotional management
If parents are not mature enough, it is a heavy pressure and burden for children. When encountering difficulties or setbacks in life, some parents tend to vent their grievances on their children. When parents can't meet their expectations of life or work, they want their children to follow his instructions completely. Once a child's performance fails to satisfy his parents, most parents will beat and scold.
3. Familiar growth experience
Because they didn't accept new knowledge in time, or they didn't have experience, some parents directly applied the original parental discipline model, and as long as they didn't follow their parents' wishes, they would be punished by such beating and scolding. Therefore, when he can't let his children do things or live in his way, he likes to discipline them in the most familiar way.
4. Find a quick and convenient way.
Some parents are too lazy to think about other ways to discipline their children, and think that beating and scolding education is the most convenient and effective. Therefore, whenever a child makes a mistake, the first thing that comes to mind is to punish the child. Few parents are born to teach their children, and few parents can naturally become masters of parenting. To be a successful parent, we need to constantly enrich new knowledge.
If the child has done nothing wrong, which parent will abuse and beat the child for no reason?
An adopted son does not teach like a donkey, an adopted daughter does not teach like a pig, and a dutiful son comes out under a stick. This is a thousand-year-old saying.
Children who don't listen to their parents must be severely verbally abused and beaten.
Any parent who can't bear to hit his children and is used to bad habits must be an asshole when he grows up.
When my daughter was a child, she talked back to me. If she didn't listen, I hit her. When my daughter is not an asshole, she said to me, Dad, I know you hit me for my own good.
My daughter has grown up now. When she makes me angry, I will still hit her.
If a child doesn't fight or remember, he is really responsible for the child.
Pay attention to skills when hitting children. You can only hurt the flesh, not the bones, and you can't beat the child into internal injuries.
It is for this reason that the education of children should be both soft and hard, and a sweet jujube should be given a high hand.
I remember being bullied when I was a child. I know fighting is not good, but I don't want to be bullied. Once I picked up a brick and threw it at each other's head, hoping to kill each other. My mother rushed over and punched me away, scaring me not to go home for a day. My mother forbade me to fight with others, told me not to fight back and scolded me for going back. Maybe my mother's discipline is right, otherwise I really don't know whether I will get into trouble at home or when I was a child.
After the ten-year catastrophe, the police academy enrolled students, and my father forced my third brother to take the police academy. Third brother feels uncertain, afraid that he will not lose face. My father hit my brother with a shovel, which scared my third brother into the examination room and made him an excellent policeman.
The two little brothers didn't love school, skipped classes all day, hid in the school field, smoked and played, and went home for dinner after school until they graduated from junior high school. At that time, my father was too old to fight, and it was useless to preach.
Now, both younger brothers are unemployed.
There is a saying that hate iron does not produce steel. Why do parents beat and scold you? This has a lot to do with the children themselves. For example, if your family is poor, your parents are exhausted every day and work for your family, and your children are disobedient and don't study hard, will your parents beat you? In other words, if you are a smart and sensible child, although you can't say that you can do everything well, but you are diligent and willing to learn, will your parents still beat you? What parents in the world don't love their children? Life is depressing.
Parents who always abuse and insult their children, usually because they don't know how to educate their children.
No one is born to be a parent. Most people learn how to educate their children from their parents when they are young.
Parents who often beat and scold their children, we review their growth process, and they generally have a childhood of being beaten and scolded.
This has been handed down from generation to generation.
This kind of parents are actually inferior, so they use language to raise their image in the eyes of their children.