What the East and the West call "sexual openness"?
At the same time, we can see that while western countries advocate sexual conservatism, China people are repeating the mistakes of westerners, completely turning a blind eye to the lessons of western society, vigorously advocating sexual openness, one-night stand, promiscuity, and even absurdly changing the concept of gender equality. The so-called sexual openness refers to the openness of sexual knowledge, but sexual behavior should be based on safety. In fact, in my western environment and among my foreign friends in recent ten years, their sexual concepts are very similar to those of ordinary people in China. Once a man and a woman become boyfriend and girlfriend, they demand equality, loyalty and one-on-one relationship. Monogamy is translated into "monogamy" in Chinese, but personally, the more reasonable translation should be monogamy. Refers to the one-on-one system in any sexual relationship. Except for some religious beliefs, most westerners are more single-minded after establishing sexual relations. When a man changes girlfriends frequently, people will guess whether he has some hidden diseases, such as violent tendencies, drinking habits, physical reasons or bad temper, so that everyone will say, "He has no ability to keep any women and always drives them away." Similarly, if a woman often changes boyfriends, she will be called "slutty as a prostitute" or "she is cheap" behind her back. As for teenage mothers, it is even more embarrassing. A friend's daughter became an unmarried mother before 18 years old. Her mother was ashamed of her neighbors and moved her family to another town. Relatives and friends don't take the initiative to mention it, and even the child baptism has never been heard from them. Although they finally accepted the newborn, they were not proud of it, but kept a very low-key posture in their small family. And the friend I'm talking about is in the old capital, Imperial London. ?
How do westerners view whoring?
In particular, finding a prostitute is a very important thing. Westerners believe that if a man has lost his charm and needs money to meet his sexual needs, he is already like garbage. Although the western society thinks that the personal life of men and women before establishing a relationship has nothing to do with the relationship between men and women afterwards, "whoring" is an exception. In other words, it is very understandable that the woman asks to break up after learning that the man had previous prostitution experience. Everyone will also sympathize with the woman's experience. "It's bad luck to meet such a bad person." ?
In the media reports we have seen, westerners' extramarital affairs, prostitutes and other incidents make us feel that their mass organizations are also like that. In fact, it is precisely because ordinary people are not like this, and they hate similar behaviors very much that the media will repeatedly report these events and focus on them. Their idea is: don't let go of any accidental or niche incident, and be sure to criticize more and nip the bud in the bud. ?
Before you have a relationship, you can date countless people.
First of all, at the beginning of a relationship between men and women, there will be a dating process. After a couple met, in the first few dates, they only belonged to dating. This date is not equal to her later boyfriend and girlfriend. Then after several dates, the two sides confirmed the relationship between men and women, thus starting the principle of "monogamy". That is to say, in the initial dating process, both parties can date others at the same time and automatically terminate their dating with others until the second they establish a relationship with someone. Of course, if you keep the pattern of only dating and not falling in love, there is nothing wrong with morality. But your date is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, but just your date. On the basis of equality, you can't ask the other party to be single-minded to you. Men who have dated different women will be called "playboy", which is a very neutral word and female friends will take it as a warning. In other words, if one day Playboy has a stable girlfriend, everyone will say, "He has finally settled down." But if they break up soon after, everyone will say, "He is really suitable for being single." Then he may be single until he is 80 years old, because people think he is not suitable for establishing relationships with anyone, and so is homosexuality. ?
The wrong concept of sex organs?
Secondly, in terms of sexual behavior itself, many people in China think that the sexual organs of men in China are smaller than those in the west, so China women who look for westerners are insatiable. Personally, I think this concept just reflects the biggest psychological habit of these people: extreme selfishness in gender relations. Individuals happen to have a medical background. At one time, they had many opportunities to see the bodies and organs of various races. In my opinion, the idea that sex organs are inferior to westerners is incorrect. There are big ones in West Renye Fang and big ones in China. Westerners are small and China people are small. This is just everyone's size, just like our shoe size and clothes size. ?
But when it comes to sex, many people, including China women themselves, put themselves in a weak position. First of all, I was bullied and he took advantage. But in fact, sex should be above feelings. Both sides have the right to enjoy the intimate and beautiful things between them. Of course, women in China feel bullied, largely because most men don't think much about their feelings in bed. ?
A man's responsibility?
We often see some boring men show off their words several times a night, so I really want to ask: Do you know how many orgasms your partner got that night? Do you care? After the orgasm, did you take care of the woman, hug her, comfort her and even help her clean up? In sexual life, how many people in China have achieved the most basic conditions that men should perform, that is, to make women happy and satisfied. This is what my husband told me that he thinks the most important point is that men themselves don't have to be satisfied every time. ?
Married life?
Of course, what I want to say is that some of my friends in China have gradually become civilized and progressive in this respect. Among foreigners, some women in China have "coddled" them too much for many years, and they begin to show signs of degeneration and failure. This kind of "spoil" can be divided into two kinds. One is excessive obedience and lack of self, which makes these westerners feel that China women are particularly obedient. Second, blindly take pride in "sexual openness". You drive west, don't you? I am more open than you western women. These two extremely stupid ideas are what we women should reflect and understand. The content of the "sexual revolution" in western society is: "safeguarding sexual rights, advocating sexual freedom, opposing sexual chaos and prohibiting sexual crimes." In the west, a good girl will never have sex with a man on the first date. What's more, if she really likes you and has a good impression on you, she will delay having sex, thus showing a serious and cautious attitude towards you. ?
Finally, in the family life where men and women live together, western men are more "independent". They prefer to "do their own thing". I have been with my husband for four years, and he usually washes the dishes after I finish cooking. If I clean the kitchen, he will sweep and wipe the dust. Taking out the garbage and mopping the floor should not be done by a lady, because she thinks that "a woman is a flower and should be beautiful and clean." Rough work, heavy work and dirty work are all men's jobs. In the west, people usually go to the supermarket once or twice to buy food collectively, so buying food is a "family activity" and must be attended by two people. Similarly, visiting parents on weekends is also a necessary family activity, which cannot be ignored because of the usual hard work, because families need to run the same business. Husband's request for eating is limited to one or two dishes, two people, and finish eating. Three dishes and one soup are very extravagant and wasteful for a small family of two people, and there will be leftovers, which leads to eating leftovers from the previous day the next day, which is unhealthy and unhealthy. And wasting food is the most shameful thing. Of course, these are their positive places, and foreigners also have extremely poor so-called "white garbage", domestic violence and so on. In the global village, it's the same wherever you go. There are good and bad people, and men in China are also very gentlemanly and family-oriented, and they also know how to have fun. I write this way because I think such "gentlemanliness" should be advocated. ?
On the other hand, women in China. Women in China have long been in an unequal position in gender relations, so they are very forbearing and tolerant. I often hear foreign friends say: With a China woman as a wife, home is like heaven. You want to fall in love with a ghost sister, go to her house as a guest, and you want to have tea. She would say, help yourself. The implication is: pour yourself. China women must be ready and delivered to you before you speak. When foreigners cook dinner at home, they will definitely prepare the table, that is, vegetables, chopsticks, tablecloths and other "non-cooking" things. Even after the husband comes home from work, there is almost no spiritual communication between husband and wife because of work fatigue. Women in China will also feel: My husband has worked so hard outside, so let him rest when he comes back. If it is a western woman, it will basically cause contradictions within the family. Without spiritual communication, it is a kind of cold domestic violence. This is also a big reason why more and more foreigners are willing to find oriental women as partners. Because they are obedient and obedient, they will consider the needs of men. ?
The most common phenomenon is that if western women have no sexual needs or are unwilling to have sex, most husbands can only solve it by themselves, which is to respect women's wishes. However, even if oriental women don't have their own needs, they will help their husbands meet their needs, which is the responsibility of their wives. So many times, when I hear western women demonize eastern women, I feel even more: as a wife, you really should reflect on yourself. This is your own attitude. Sadly, some men in China are demonizing women in China. ?
Any idea of killing with a stick is very naive, and the whole world is progressing, developing and assimilating. All races and races can tolerate, coexist and be harmonious with each other. China is a multi-ethnic country, and it is despised for Han women to find their compatriots? Our country has a territory, but our compatriots have no national boundaries. In addition to the nation, a social product of human beings, people should get along with each other with feelings. Getting along with men and women is not so much a cultural difference as a difference between people. What some people think is romantic is boring for others. What some people think is reasonable may be cruel to others. When can we learn to ignore the product terms attached by society, return to the simplest person, learn to get along with the person you like, understand and love, then we will understand that in fact, many cultures are basically the same.