Mozi once saw people dye silk. When dyed with blue pigment, it turns cyan, and when dyed with yellow pigment, it turns yellow. After five times, it became five colors. So in his view, "dyeing" needs to be very cautious.
In fact, the family is also a big dye vat!
Everyone is born a blank sheet of paper. If parents want their children to be what kind of people, they must set an example.
Parents are lazy and children are not diligent. Only when parents are reasonable can children be gentle. It is never the ability that determines a person's fate, but the acquired family education.
If a family commits these three taboos, it is difficult to teach sensible children!
First, unhealthy family style, excessive doting:
Writer Ma Boyong said: "The inheritance of a family is like a beautiful antique. 」
Antiques are tangible, but their inheritance is intangible. Although they are invisible and intangible, they permeate every bone and blood in the family. A good family style is a person's attitude and confidence in life, and it also affects his future.
If the family style is not correct, people will lean. Balzac's works have such a function:
Gao Laotou, a businessman, dotes on his two daughters. In order to let them live a luxurious life as a lady, he married off most of his property.
But the married daughters left their father mercilessly after squeezing his last pension. Finally, they lost their father's blessing and everything they had.
As the saying goes, "the spoiler is unknown, and greed is insatiable. Spoil a person too much to tell right from wrong. People who are insatiable will never be satisfied.
It is understandable that parents love their children, but love also needs to be grasped to a certain extent, otherwise it will kill their children's future. Many times, children's problems are mostly the product of family and the reflection of parents' problems.
There are no children with poor education, only parents who can't educate.
Although Mr. Fu Lei, a famous educator, loves his son, he never dotes on him.
He put the adult education of his son Fu Cong in his family life. Even dressing, eating, sitting, walking, talking and other things. Fu Lei put forward strict requirements. It is these trivial things that make Fu Cong warm and jade-like.
Recommended reading: establish rules and habits, and far-sighted parents will do these three things.
Jin Yong once commented:
Mr. Fu Lei's letter from home shows a gentleman teaching his children how to be a real gentleman. A good family style is priceless for a child's life, and it is also the best card for him to stand on the world in the future.
Parents who dote on their children should remember that everything is for their children, and he will do nothing in the future, resulting in a giant baby.
The only thing you can do is to keep your love for your children in your heart. Let him go by himself and encourage him to rely on himself at all times. This spelled road is the glory of his life.
Second, the family is not harmonious and unfilial to the elders.
What is the most important thing for a family to be together? Is there a million rooms in Ande Guangsha? Or did it reach the ancestors of fertile land? Or is there an endless stream of guests and friends? Neither!
Money on location is just one thing! Being a family together, being healthy and safe, and living in harmony are more important than anything else. If the family is not harmonious and the mother is not kind and filial, even if she has more money, the family will eventually decline. Family harmony, a family of one mind and one mind, future generations will also benefit endlessly.
Read such a short story:
There is a family living an ordinary life together. One day, the father said to his son, "Your grandfather is old and weak, and it is painful and useless to live in the world. It is better to abandon him in the mountains. " 」
In the middle of the night, the father and son carried the old man to the stream with a laundry list. When they were about to throw it down, the son said, "Dad, all we have to do is throw people away. Why should we throw this laundry list away?" 」
Father said angrily, "What do you know? You don't even want anyone else Why do you need this broken basket? 」
The son said, "If we throw away this laundry list, what will my son and I use to carry you here in the future?" ? 」
Father was shocked, just like a bang, waking up from a big dream! So I quickly ordered my son to take the old man home, take good care of him and never dare to be unfilial again.
Children are a mirror of parents, and children can see what adults say and do. What you sow, what you reap.
If a person can abandon his parents and relatives who gave him life, how can he convince his children! Parents are role models for their children. If there is no affection and filial piety between elders, children cannot be filial.
Everyone comes to this world with a different role. Today is a child, and the day after tomorrow may be a parent. Filial piety is not only an example for children, but also their own way out.
As the world is so big, people might as well love each other more and complain less and hurt each other. Only in this way can we really rest assured that we will grow old.
Third, family morality is not cultivated, and shortcuts are often taken.
Nan huaijin, a master of Chinese studies, said: "One virtue and two lives, three feng shui, four virtues and five studies; Blessed people live in blessed land, and blessed land lives in blessed land. 」
Virtue is the best feng shui for a family. In life, many people walk into the crooked path because they are tired of hardships for a while, but the shortcut of life is not easy to take.
If you walk too much, you are bound to lose the ability to climb the peak.
In a TV story, the boss had to sell the old villa handed down by his ancestors because of the company's cash flow problem. Unexpectedly, a distant cousin was killed halfway and stayed in a house for three generations. She wouldn't leave until she paid the moving fee.
Ironically, this cousin is a distant relative of the boss. The boss's father took pity on her and lent the old villa to them for three generations.
In the play, the cousin's family made a scene, thinking that they could get the moving fee in one step and don't have to worry about it for the rest of their lives. But I don't know what such behavior will bring to future generations. This will only be a farce.
Finally, the boss really gave the distant relative a million yuan "moving fee". Ironically, the family squandered all kinds of money with this huge sum, and soon their pockets were empty again, and finally everything went back to the original point.
There used to be a saying that a gentleman loves money and takes it wisely. The world is full of all kinds of opportunistic tricks, but few people remember the truth that "if virtue is not worth it, there will be disaster".
If the older generation likes to take shortcuts and take advantage, children naturally don't want to be down to earth. Since there is a free lunch in life, why work by yourself every day! Once he develops this habit of getting something for nothing, it will cause endless harm to his life. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and even if there is, it may not be your turn.
Tall buildings rise from the ground, and Wolong Crouching Tiger is high in the mountains. Most of the success in this world is accumulated bit by bit, and we can't always think about eating fat.
Recommended reading: Parents should set an example, such as killing their children's future by themselves.
Just like Lin Zexu's couplets:
If children and grandchildren are like me, what should they do with the money? Being virtuous and rich will damage his ambition. My children and grandchildren are not as good as me. What did you leave the money for? Foolish and rich will increase their excesses.
On the road of children's life, parents are needed as guiding lights.
Intelligence is important, but it is more important to teach children how to behave. Because morality can often make up for the defects of wisdom, and wisdom can never make up for the defects of morality.
German philosopher karl jaspers once said: "The essence of education is that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul summons another soul. 」
Parents can be seen in excellent children, and Xiong Haizi's behavior can also be found in parents.
What kind of person a child will become depends largely on his growing environment. In a family, children are saplings, parents are gardeners, children are shadows, and parents are benchmarks.
Parents have a good family style, and children can do it themselves. Only when parents are kind can children know manners. Only when parents are virtuous can children stand on their own feet.
The so-called separation of parents and children. The best thing you can leave your children is not a house, not a deposit. But benefit from a lifetime of character and upbringing.