I. Definition of Single-parent Family The so-called single-parent family generally refers to a single-parent family in which one of the parents of the child dies or divorces, and the child only lives with his father (or mother), or both parents of the child die and the child lives with his grandfather (or grandmother and other relatives). But there is another situation when we refer to single parents here, that is, both parents of the child are alive and not divorced, but because the father or mother or both parents go out to work or do business, they are not with the child for a long time, and only one or other relatives take care of the child. This also belongs to a single-parent family. This is because from the perspective of educating children, it still belongs to the category of "single parent". So what we call "single-parent families" can be called "generalized single-parent families". Second, the current situation of children's education in single-parent families, a considerable proportion of students in single-parent families are physically and mentally unhealthy, and there are some problems, such as impatience or introversion, which will also affect their academic performance. These students tend to compare with others in the collective, resulting in a sense of loss and inferiority, forming an invisible psychological pressure. If any more students say something discriminatory, the pressure will increase, which will bring students personality and academic problems. The consequences of parents' divorce are serious, so we must attach great importance to the education of students from single-parent families. If we don't help them in education and let them develop, it will have a negative impact on the present and future society. First, there are some psychological obstacles due to lack of warmth and happiness. Most students from single-parent families feel that they can't lift their heads because of their inferiority complex. They like to be alone, don't want to associate with their classmates, talk little, are timid, and live in a lonely castle all day. In collective activities, their behavior is unorganized and undisciplined, they do whatever they want, they love to lie and they are indifferent to the collective. When interacting with classmates, I am emotionally unstable and moody, and I often quarrel with my classmates about trifles. Contact with elders, rebellious, insensitive to teachers' praise and criticism, lack of collective honor. Psychologically, students from single-parent families often feel lonely inside. Second, the lack of necessary incentive education leads to academic neglect. Since ancient times, learning is very hard, and it is the nature of these children to love to play, so it is essential for parents to constantly urge and encourage them in the process of learning. However, children from single-parent families lack the necessary incentives, so they are often playful and not interested in learning. Because there was a period of contradiction and sadness before and after their parents divorced, these parents were upset and had no intention of asking about their children's studies, let alone counseling. Children will not be able to calm down and study their lessons because they are always in fear. There are also some single-parent children whose lives are not well taken care of, whose diets are abnormal, their clothes are not cleaned, and no one takes care of them when they are sick, let alone study hard. Third, because of the lack of necessary control, it has become laissez-faire and slow. Because many divorced parents don't care about their children's education or pass the buck to each other, they think that whoever their children live with should educate and manage them; Others instill some incorrect thoughts and behaviors into children; Or simply walk away; Or children will be raised by grandparents from generation to generation, giving up the responsibility of educating and managing children. Due to lack of discipline, a considerable number of single-parent children often feel bored when they are alone in their spare time, and adopt negative ways to pass the time: playing video games, surfing the Internet, reading martial arts novels, forgetting their homework, and even playing truant. Others have developed the habit of arrogance since childhood and are self-centered in everything. There are no parents, teachers and classmates in my mind, and the concept of law and discipline is weak. Individual people tend to break the law and discipline because of bad friends and bad habits. Fourth, I like making friends with the opposite sex, because I lack maternal love and fatherly love. They can't get the care they deserve in life, especially maternal love, and they feel empty and bored mentally. In this case, once they get the attention of the opposite sex students, they will feel very warm and happy, so they often play together after school. After a long time, puppy love is easy, especially for girls. Fifth, because intergenerational education is too indulgent and covets ease and enjoyment. Some children or orphans from single-parent families are fostered in grandparents' homes or grandparents' homes. Old people often give meticulous care in life, but they lack strict requirements in thinking and learning. As a result, children often pamper themselves, fear hardship and covet comfort, and the homework assigned by the school cannot be completed on time. Turn a deaf ear to the teaching of the elderly, and there are more and more bad habits. Self-education and self-management of children in single-parent families As school educators, how should we understand, care and educate students with single-parent children? How to help them carry out self-education and self-management? Through our practical exploration, we have the following experiences: 1. Investigate and analyze the causes and present situation of single-parent families, "prescribe the right medicine" and find out the demand points of such students. There are many reasons for single-parent families, and different accidents have different stimuli for children. These different psychological barriers are the fundamental reasons that affect children's healthy growth. Therefore, when educating single-parent children, it is the key to analyze and solve the difficulties in life and study. First of all, we should understand the situation, analyze children's psychological obstacles according to different changes, and guide them so that they can have a sound mentality and face the reality correctly. Due to family changes, children's parents or guardians often have such defects in the process of education, or they are too strict, too fond, or simple and rude, or let themselves go. In view of this, I have long-term observation on the conduct of such children, timely guidance, correction of bad behavior habits, strengthening contact with families, persuading parents to care more about their children, not indulging and being less rude, and educating children not to associate with people with bad conduct in society. Everyone has needs, which is a common feature of people's thoughts and psychology. Therefore, grasping the demand point will also grasp the joint point of the child's mind. What children in single-parent families lack most is affection. What they need is nothing more than the warmth of the family, the joy of success, and the understanding and sympathy of others. Educators should seize children's needs in time, create a family atmosphere in classes and families, comfort their spiritual wounds with the warmth of families and collectives, give them cordial care, and let them feel family-like love and warmth. 2. Arouse self-esteem, light the "lights" in students' hearts, and seize the bright spots. Self-esteem, self-confidence and courage are the positive motivation for students to correct their shortcomings, and they are the most sensitive corner in people's hearts. Respect is the key to emotional communication. Therefore, we should start from respecting and caring for students, and more importantly, we should help them explore their own strengths and discover their progress in time, instead of stabbing them again with words like "stupid", "bad" and "what" to provide them with more self-expression. Where there is confidence, there is hope. Bright spots are a person's strengths and advantages. Grasping people's advantages and strengths to affirm, encourage and praise, even a little, can effectively dispel people's sense of inferiority and stimulate people's enterprising spirit. Everyone has a bright spot, and children from single-parent families are no exception. Parents and teachers should give them extra praise and affirmation when they have creative ideas in their studies. Children from single-parent families should be encouraged more and blamed less; More warmth, less indifference. 3. Create an environment, pour love and find points of interest. (1) Carry out hand-in-hand and heart-to-heart activities to solve the financial difficulties of single-parent students, let them fully appreciate the warmth of "big family", encourage students to communicate with them more, have heart-to-heart talks, stimulate their interest in learning, improve their enthusiasm for learning, and form an atmosphere of caring and caring for them in their studies. (2) Strengthen behavior education to make up for the lack of family education. In class management, I combine the daily behavior norms of middle school students with the standard of moral education, and refine the daily behavior habits of students, requiring everyone to overcome lazy habits and pay attention to life order and rules. Let all students live in an orderly group, carry out criticism and self-criticism, and realize "environmental education" through good class style. Interest is the basis and premise of doing things. Everyone has his own hobbies. Only by fully demonstrating one's interests and specialties can one cultivate and build self-confidence. Children from single-parent families have problems in showing interest. If we can't find and develop it in time, we will lose the opportunity to turn education into talents. Children's self-confidence, nervousness, especially their interest in what they have learned will affect the transfer of knowledge. Therefore, teachers and parents must be good at discovering and guiding children's interests in time and transferring this interest to the track that is conducive to children's physical and mental development in time. Only in this way can we produce better educational and teaching effects. 4. Make a good plan and persevere. Schools can establish a "one-day life system" to help students plan their daily lives, so that students can have regular activities, learn rhythmically, live a full life, and be emotionally stable and happy from morning till night. In this way, they will feel that they have gained something every day and are often in success. In the process of implementing the "one-day life system", students learn to know themselves in life, overcome themselves and be strong. It is necessary to guide students to observe and dissect themselves frequently, so that their words and deeds are always under their control and self-examine every day. Schools should establish a system in which students keep weekly diaries, diaries and observation notes, guide students to observe society, others and themselves frequently, and form the habit of being strict with themselves, dissecting themselves strictly, being good at absorbing the strengths of others and being brave in self-criticism. 5, constantly overcome setbacks, always reflect on yourself. Life in this world cannot be smooth sailing, and there can be no setbacks. Handling setbacks well may become a new starting point for children's progress and a new driving force for progress; If it is not handled well, it will become a point of ideological decline and retrogression. Children in single-parent families have many setbacks, not only their parents' divorce, but also their lives and friends. Therefore, teachers and parents must grasp the joint point of this ideological change, comfort in time, and reflect on the root causes. According to the in-depth understanding and detailed analysis of single-parent children by relevant teachers, the deep-seated reasons of the problem are found out and the countermeasures to solve the problem are explored. Through observation, investigation, home visits, conversations, etc. We found the main reason why single-parent students are not disciplined and develop abnormally: 1. Family breakdown leads to students' emotional loneliness and hatred for their parents or society. In some families with divorced parents, it is difficult for children to get guidance and help from their parents in their behavior habits and values, and they are not concerned enough emotionally. They are often hostile to their father or mother, and they are repulsive and rebellious to the "care" from their parents after the marriage breaks down. Therefore, no matter whether the parents' educational guidance is correct or not, children are unwilling to accept it. Some children even have the psychology of aspiring parents, while others extend to revenge society and have doubts about classmates, teachers and people in society. They are melancholy, stubborn, suspicious, rebellious, uncivilized, less self-motivated, lack of collective honor, poor moral conduct and unwilling to accept any criticism and education. The grandparents' generation failed in supervision and education. This generation often dotes on their grandchildren. If the child is a single parent or has lost both parents, these generations of elders are even more afraid that the child can't eat well or wear well, so they are especially "considerate" in their lives, ignoring the education of proper personality cultivation and good behavior habits for the child, developing the child's spoiled and willful character, and inadvertently forming the bad consciousness of the only child. Most of these children are withdrawn, self-centered, with poor sense of cooperation and low cooperation ability. 3. Compensatory parental love causes students' unbalanced physical and mental development. Most parents of divorced families and migrant families think that they owe too much to their children, so they often try their best to meet their children's living expenses and pocket money, or even "the more the better", but they basically don't ask about their children's learning and psychological thoughts. Material "wealth" and spiritual "emptiness" cause abnormal physical and mental development of children, which is prone to problems. Without the supervision of parents, children will develop the habit of arbitrariness and supercilious quality. Because children's study, life and ideological status are neglected, supervision and guidance are not timely, and children have long formed a bad habit of not caring about anything. They are lazy to study, eat and drink, fight ... even willing to be with people with bad conduct, and some even do what criminals do. Countermeasures Now, there are more and more students in these special groups, and their education has become the top priority of school education. Through educational practice, we have summed up the following coping strategies: (1) Schools attach importance to it and form a top-down educational supervision model. 1, the school set up a "leading group for special group education", and moral education managers formulated corresponding management measures and rules and regulations. In particular, the responsibility system for the education of special groups of students has been implemented, and the implementation and effect of education are linked to the evaluation of leaders and teachers and to the immediate interests; Implement relevant education and assistance measures; Form a good educational atmosphere for all faculty members to care for students of special groups. 2. The school has formed a whole set of working mode of "inspection-filing-guarantee-education-reflection-improvement". Through investigation, research and analysis, each class teacher fully understands the details of special group students, establishes a roster and files of special group students, implements the responsibility of protecting teachers, formulates specific educational assistance measures, carries out long-term educational assistance, observes the effect, reflects and summarizes, and adjusts and improves. 3. Create favorable conditions and organize activities appropriately to help students "wake up". Schools should hold meaningful educational activities at an appropriate time to awaken students' sleeping conscience through activities. The students were given "gratitude" education, and all the students burst into tears at the meeting, expressing regret for their bad behavior towards their parents and teachers. Those "special children" even took the initiative to find the teacher to tell their inner repentance, which was quite touching. Take this opportunity to help teachers grasp their bright spots, make the best use of the situation, and achieve excellent educational results. Now he is enthusiastic and enterprising, and his academic performance has been greatly improved. 4. Talk about ways to guide children out of the mire of getting lost. Help children get rid of bad habits, build up self-confidence, integrate into the group and have fun again. In education, we should do: give true love and understand it with reason; Refuse to reprimand and practice tolerance; Discover the bright spot and succeed in education; Perseverance, not afraid of repetition. The change of special group students tells us that children's psychological growth is closely related to their parents, and the lack of parents' love, care and concern for others will inevitably bring trauma to children. However, their changes are gratifying. As long as families, schools and social Qi Xin work together, give them care and love, and adopt correct educational methods, they will return to the right track and become qualified members of the school family.

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